The Bad Tour(ture)

Chapter 21 - Time Waits For No One

Michael

Hayvenhurst, December 1987

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss her.  We were so close, yet so far away.  I could've called her, I could've visited her or just simply invited her over but I couldn't bring myself to do it.  I was upset with myself for how fast I went into it.  She just got out of a marriage and I knew something was going on between herself and Greg.  I was just too selfish to believe it.  I convinced myself it was nothing.  

But I knew.  I knew the whole time.  I wasn't stupid.  I knew even when I asked her in Tokyo.  I'm always very much aware of my surroundings.  And even when I never went out with them outside of rehearsals, I still had people coming to me and telling me things.  Things I didn't want to hear, things I didn't want to believe. 

I was in my study thinking.  I had a book opened on my lap but my thoughts were telling its own story.  It had been a long two weeks I went without talking to her.  I didn't expect for it to be this long but she never even tried to contact me.

"Michael?"

I looked up to see Karen at the door.  I didn't even hear it open.  "Hi, Turkle."

"Can I talk to you off the clock?"

I giggled and told her to come in.

She shut the door and walked over to me.  As she sat next to me, she looked at me with a big smile. "What 'cha reading?"

I closed the book and set it beside me.  "What's wrong?" I asked with a chuckle.  I knew she wasn't here to make small talk.

"Well, I just wanted to ask you a quick question."

I looked at her waiting to hear it.

"Do you know what it's like to be misunderstood?"

I began laughing.  "Are you serious?"

She nodded, smiling at my giggling.

"Yes, I very much do."

"You do??"

"Yes.  Why?"

"Because there's a certain someone that you seem to have a misunderstanding about."

The first person who came to mind was Shakira.  "She sent you here?"

"Who?"

"Shakira."

"No, no.  I went to visit her this morning and after what I saw and heard I thought I should come personally tell you, off the clock," she said with emphasis, "that you're wrong."

"I'm wrong?" I asked pointing at myself.

"Yes.  You have a huge misunderstanding about her and what happened with Greg.  It really had nothing to do with Greg, it all goes back to her ex-husband."  An expression of concern grew upon her face and she started speaking lightly.  "Michael, he did horrible things to her.  She was brainwashed for so long, she lost herself.  It was Darryl who kept bringing her back to reality but even when she was back to planet Earth, she still didn't have enough strength to divorce him.  When she came out to do the tour, she was free for the first time and Greg was there and he was comforting her.  She didn't fall in love with him, she just felt..." She looked around trying to find a word.  "Good.  She and her ex-husband stopped having sex months before the tour.  He was doing things with other women and Shakira told him she didn't feel comfortable with it anymore so they stopped."

"What?" I asked in awe.  "He knew she knew?"

"Yes.  He was doing it, he said, to help their career, to open doors."

I was still confused and she could see it on my face.

"Don't say anything but he was something like a male groupie."

I burst out laughing because I didn't believe her. 

"Michael, I'm serious.  He was very controlling and abusive.  He used to physically harm her she said when they first moved here to California."

My smile faded and my body became stiff.

"They were now far far away from her family so he just flipped on her she said.  Once they moved here, he started hitting on her, he started sleeping around with all these women, and he turned to drugs-well not drugs, excuse me, marijuana but still."

"It's hard to believe he would let her come on the tour being he was so controlling."  That part didn't make sense to me but I didn't doubt what Karen was saying to me.

"He already was planning the divorce at the time.  He met someone and a record deal was in the works she guesses."

I looked away as I began to fill up with guilt.  I should've let her explain herself.  Karen shouldn't have to come to me to speak for her. 

As Karen continued to speak, my heart was breaking.  I didn't want to hear anymore.  I just wanted to be with Shakira.   I wanted to be there for her like she was always there for me.

"Don't tell her I told you any of this."

I looked at Karen and tried to smile.  "I won't."  I was honestly trying to fight back my tears.

"She's not interested in Greg.  They were just friends that had similarities when it came to their troubled marriages and they tried to fill each other's voids.  She loves you."

I hang my head to the side.

"I know it's only been a few months but in my eyes, you two complete each other.  I know real love when I see it."

"I love her too but after what I've experienced in the past, I became afraid and I backed out on her."

"Well, this is only the beginning.  We still got a year to go with this tour so I hope you get your emotions together soon and figure out what you want to do.  She's been through too much to sit around and wait for you."

"You think she'll quit?"

"No.  She's too determined to make it to quit.  But I'm just saying, you might lose your chance on finding true love."

I sat up and leaned over, letting my elbows rest on my legs.  "This isn't the right time for all of this."

"Just remember time isn't on your side.  The longer you wait, the harder it'll be to get her to reason with you one day in the future when you realize you need her."

I turned and looked at her.  "But I thought love doesn't just disappear."

"It doesn't," Karen said. "It fades."

That was something I definitely didn't want. I didn't want our love to fade.  

I tried calling Shakira but I couldn't reach her.  After ten failed attempts, I finally left a message.

Shakira, it's Michael.  I really need to talk to you.  It's important that I do so please call back this number when you get a chance.

I thought about saying 'I love you' but I felt it wasn't appropriate.  So I just hung up and waited to hear my phone ring.