The Bad Tour(ture)

Chapter 44 - Rockin' Robin

Europe was fun for me personally.  The shows were great and I got to see a lot of places I never knew existed and then some historical sites as well.  I was also creating music for my label to review.  I was super busy spending my nights with producers and Greg instead of Michael.  I could tell it was starting to bother him but I had to do it.  I didn't want him to feel like he was losing me though.  I was just busy working.

It was late at night and I was in Greg's room with a few other guys.  I was sent some beats to write to but I just didn't really like any of them.  Therefore, I started composing my own music.  Thanks to Greg, I was better with the piano now and thanks to Jennifer, I was better on guitar.  Thanks to Michael, I was more creative than ever.

Michael walked into the room, shocking us all.  "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm not invited?"

"Of course but I would think you'd want to rest."

"Do I ever rest?"

I narrowed my eyes at him through my Ray Bans and we smiled towards one another because we were wearing the same shades. 

"Well, we're all in a creative pool right now so if you feel something, please share," I stated.

He nodded and stood near Greg, who was sitting at the piano.  He looked so cool just standing there.  I bit my bottom lip because I wanted to go over to him and kiss him so bad.

"What are we working with here?" Michael asked.

So hard to read him with those shades.  "I like rock, Latin, pop...I'm very worldly," I said looking around at the guys with a smirk.  "Like, I would really love something that sounds like Dirty Diana on my record."

Greg stood up and walked over to pour himself some water.

"What have you come up with so far?" Michael asked me.

"Some stuff but nothing really.  We've been too chatty I guess," I giggled.

Michael sat down at the piano and began playing the tango La cumparsita.  I was shocked because I didn't even know he could play the piano.

"There you go," Greg said. 

I grabbed my guitar.

"Hit it," he egged on.  "You know you want to."

I love to add guitar to just about everything.  I made sure my camcorder was recording and before you knew it, I was finally coming up with something.

Michael joining my creativity session worked out for him because when we were done, I ended up going to his suite instead of my room.

"You've been ignoring me," he said as we were lying in bed.

The lights were out and I was just about to fall asleep.  The sun would be rising in only an hour.  "I've been working.  You know how that is."

"I work my tail off and I still know how to make time for you."

"Can you please just go to sleep?"

"Look at me," he demanded.

"I can't! It's dark...."

"Well turn around."

I sighed and turned to face him.  I still couldn't see anything but that's what he wanted and I wanted nothing more than to please my man.  "Yes, Michael?"

"I don't want you working with Greg."

"What?"  I turned around to turn on the light.  "Why?"

"Don't act silly.  You know why."

"Where is this coming from?"

"I don't feel comfortable with you ignoring me while you work with him."

"I'm not ignoring you though."

Michael looked highly irritated.  It was uncomfortable.  "Listen to me, Greg is soul and r&b.  He's not someone you would want to work with.  You have to gather your own team that can contribute to the sound you want to hear.  You haven't come up with anything because you're with the wrong people.  You're with my people.  I understand you don't want to wait until the end of the tour to start making real music but you can't just grab anyone and assume you'll all connect and create magic together.  It doesn't work that way.  I will be more than happy to find you a team that understands your music and that will work well with you.  It's the label's job but I'll help you as I see you're impatient."

I looked away because I guess he was right.

"You were creating tonight.  You were actually composing your own song and I'm very proud of you and I'm happy I was able to get you going but you sang in Spanish."

"I want my album to be English and Spanish."

"I know and that's great but my point is, you were making this great song but none of us could understand what you were saying," he said snickering.

"Well, usually when I create songs, I do it in Spanish.  Then I translate it and I end up with two," I said laughing.

"Well that's very cool.  But you have to surround yourself with people who can understand you and contribute."

"I know."

"I understand Spanish is your native language and it's easier for you to create that way but..."

"No, I understand.  You don't want me to steal your dream team."

"No, Button.  It's not that," he said with a smile.

I was only joking with him.  "I did actually write a song in English.  Very recently."

"Really?"

"Want me to share it with you?"

He smiled and nodded. 

"I have the rhythm in my head so just listen."  I shut my eyes and pictured the words written on the sheet of paper in my notebook that I left in my room.

I see he's hurting deep inside

I hear him asking God 'why?'

I taste the blood from his wounded back

I feel his need for them to understand, not attack

He's deceiving you with his laughter and smile

But when he comes to me, he breaks down like a broken child

I say...

Look away and cover your ears

Spit it out and close your mouth

Cover your ears and baby numb your fears...

I let my last word trail off then I started humming.  "I think that's it.  Or I forgot the rest."

"Wow."  He was staring at me with a sincere look in his eyes, a hint of sadness as well. 

"Just wow, eh?"

"No, baby, it was beautiful.  It was very touching.  I love it.  Finish it."

I smiled and looked down to my lap.  I twirled the drawstring from my pants around my finger.

"Was that written for me as well?"

I smiled because everything I've written lately was about him.  So I just nodded.

He kissed me on the cheek and lied back down.  "Finish it."