Loves Me Not

*REVISED* Chapter Twenty-one

Ugh, I should be in bed right now. My eyes roll over to stare at the time display on the radio on my bedside table. It feels much later than 3 a.m. But as the TV plays rerun after rerun of shows I no longer have an interest in and my phone lies silent signifying I'm not on anyone's mind I don't have the energy to go to sleep.

I sit up in bed grabbing my phone and creeping out of my room out into the rest of the silent house. I pause outside my bedroom door looking straight ahead down the dark, open hallway, past the closed door of Archer's room.

I slowly creep by his room and down the stairs which are right past it, grasping the dark stained handrail as I try to minimize the noise I'm making. I stop again at the bottom of the stairs, my eyes trained on the door that is about 10 feet in front of me. I trace my right hand along the wall of the living room, with my left hand drifting through open air as it crosses the barrier between the hallway and the sitting room on my left. I tiptoe up to the door, peeking out the sidelights next to the door as I peer out at the street, phantom hopes of a black Chevy idling unexpectedly at the curb forcing a small frown to my face.

I sigh quietly as I turn around and walk through the first open doorway to the living room and behind the rounded sectional before exiting the room and coming out back into the hallway through the second exit that is diagonal to the doorless entrance to the kitchen. I cross from the mahogany wood floor onto the tan travertine in the kitchen, squeezing my toes from the sudden cold as I look around at the taupe walls and swirling granite countertops.

I sigh quietly as I realize there is nothing to do in here and leave the kitchen, veering to the immediate right and then snaking to the left down a hidden hallway in the back. I hesitate between the parallel doors to my parents' offices that sit on opposite sides of the hallway, but continue to stare straight ahead at the bubbly Savona glass that distorts the view into their bedroom. I almost move to slip inside closed doors; hoping to find my mom lounging in bed watching TV while my dad snores loudly next to her, so I could cuddle up next to her and ask for advice that is better left not seeing the light of day. But I walk away instead, not even knowing how to start this conversation.

Maybe I should just call Ellie and tell her everything. She would know what to do.

I lift the phone that is in my left hand closer to my face and stare at it, hoping that if I gaze at it long enough I will figure out what I should do.

Suddenly it springs to life, the screen lighting up as a blaring siren rises from its speakers. I can't contain my screech as I drop it in shock, a loud smack resounding throughout the entire downstairs. I scramble to sweep it up before I dart back into the living room, trying to put distance between my parents' room and the screaming of my phone.

I look down at the screen and see Charlie's name flashing across its surface. I waited all day to hang out and now he wants to call me?

I contemplate ignoring his call. Or maybe rejecting it, so he knows that I saw it and I don't want to talk to him. But I slide the green answer bar to the right anyway, bringing the phone up to my ear.

"You either have balls the size of Texas or you must be calling the wrong person," I say, not bothering to start with a hello as I walk over to the fireplace.

The other end is silent for a few seconds before he responds. "And why would you think that?"

I push off of the cold brick before I make my way to the curio cabinet in the opposite corner of the room. "Because I don't know a lot of people that have the balls to blow me off and then call me for a late night pussy appointment the same day."

"This isn't a p-p-" he sputters for a moment before switching phrases, "booty call!"

I roll my eyes even though he can't see me. "Whenever a guy calls a girl after the sun goes down, it's a pussy appointment." I try and fail not to think about that August night. "Trust me."

"Well, I'm not just some guy. I don't do stuff like that." I can imagine him puffing up his chest as he tries to make himself feel better. "I'm calling because time got away from me and I totally forgot we were supposed to hang out. So let's do it now! Midnight exploring around East Greenbush should be fun!"

My entire face scrunches in doubt. "And that sounds like code for 'let me get you alone so we can fuck in the backseat of my car'. So that's a hard pass."

"You sure got a mouth on you." This time he chuckles instead of sputtering. "But I swear it's nothing like that."

I think I can hear the lie in his words. I don't want to risk it. Not again.

"You know what, why don't we do some old school shit?"

"Old school like what?" He asks.

"Like, lets just talk on the phone. And then when the sun comes out, then the real fun can begin."

He snorts. "You're telling me that you want to talk on the phone for the next 3 hours?"

I hesitate, but I quickly project my doubt onto him. "You're right. What was I thinking, that you would be capable of having prolonged conversation? I should have figured you were more of a 'how's the weather' kind of guy."

My tactic works like a charm.

"I can totally do it, Kaiydeen! Just watch, this is going to be such a good conversation you'll be begging me to come pick you up."

I smile as I finally walk over to the sectional; throwing myself onto the cushions as I tuck a throw pillow under my head and cross my legs. "Let's see what you got."

●●●

I laugh loudly. "That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever—"

"Are you near a window? Go look outside."

I sit up at the sudden interruption to the easy back and forth banter between us, hopping off the couch and heading to the curtain-clad window next to the fireplace. "What am I looking at? Are you outside my house?"

I pivot from my route and head to the front door, which will give me a view of the street. "I don't know where you live, KD. How can I be outside of your house?"

I laugh quietly as I peek out the sidelight windows. "Then what am I looking at?"

"You don't see it?" The excitement in his voice is infectious, causing me to unlock the door and step outside. I look up and down the street, my eyes stopping on every parked car and swaying tree. I wrap my free arm around myself as I switch my legs back and forth, trying to gather warmth in this freezing morning weather.

"Charlie, I'm gonna freeze my ass off out here!" I look around once more. "What am I looking for?"

This time his laughter is gentler, almost making me blush with its sincerity. "You went outside?" He asks.

"Well, I'm trying to see what the hell you're talking about!" I placate as I keep looking around.

He laughs again before he replies. "Look up."

My head turns to the sky and I see it. A swirl of pinks and purples greets me, blending seamlessly with the midnight blue of the nighttime sky. My eyes widen as a sheen of white clouds almost blocks my view of the horizon. But I see it immediately, a dazzling bright orange minutely peeking out from behind my neighbor's house.

I laugh in shock this time, all of my words stuck in the back of my throat, because I can't look away.

"You see it?" He whispers, his eyes clearly locked on the same view. I nod my head dumbly, not caring that he can't see me respond. "Text me your address and I'll be there in 20."

The phone beeps twice, signaling that our call has disconnected. My eyes gloss over the ending time before I let my hand drop to my side as I stand on my front porch, no longer shivering.

Two hours and 38 minutes.

I try to fight it, but the smallest of smiles pulls at my lips as I turn around and walk back into the house, locking the door behind me so I can start getting ready.

I can't believe he did it.