Thugs Ain't For Me: Chapter II

7: Bella + College = ?

*Wednesday*

Bella

I sat anxiously in the passenger seat of Zaz's snow white 2016 BMW 6 series. He had some Lil Wayne song playing in the background on low while he sped through the downtown streets of San Diego. I peered over at him every now and then and look shyly away when he caught me. I peeked at my phone to check the time it was now 12 in the morning.

"Expecting a call?" He pulls up to a stop light. I just smirked and looked out of the window. "Not talking now?" I continue peering out the window. I felt the warmth of his tender hand massage my thigh.

"I thought this wasn't gone be like that." I say and he shot me a affectionate smile and I couldn't help but to beam. He held his smile for a moment before continuing the drive.

"I'm sorry that I'm so friendly but I can't help myself with you." I grab his hand and sit it back on the steering wheel. "Damn ma my fault, I don't wanna seem like I wanna fuck you." He chuckles.

"Well that's exactly what it seems like." I taunt. "And why are you taking the long way?" I realize that instead of him taking the expressway he went down all the smaller streets.

"More time I get with you duh. So tell me, do you have a boyfriend?" He scanned over me.

"....Actually no I don't." I confess.

"What? Really? But you got two kids, right?"

"Yes I do....my son's daddy is missing," I roll my eyes, "And my daughter's daddy is.....dead." I say in a lower tone.

"Damn. What happened?"

"He was shot and he died at the hospital. He never got a chance to meet his girl....but that's a story for another time." I swipe away a tear. "What about you?" A smiled form across my face.

"...I...I don't have any kids....or girlfriend." He raises down the window admiring a house we drove by. "I would like kids one day, and a wife you know? Family life, I'm tired of this street shit, gets old ."

"Oh so you're a street nigga?" I fold my arms across my chest.

"Girl how much you think this car cost? I sure as hell ain't got no 9 to 5 ass job. Behind some lil ass cubicle." We both laugh and I shrug it off. "How long you been....stripping?" I feel my stomach drop to my feet and my throat felt like a desert.

"..Umm, tonight was actually my first time." I admit and shot his eyes over at me. "What?"

"This yo first time stripping and you did that good?"

"Stop it, I was okay." I lowered my head.

"I know Deontae gave you a raise for that performance." He bounced his head up and down like he just knew he did but I kept quiet.

"Something like that..." I looked at him and removed my sunglasses.

"DAMN! What happened?" He examines my eye.

"He didn't like my performance, he thought that it was to sexual." I slide the glasses back on my face.

"That's crazy. I'm have to holla at Deontae ass that shit ain't cool." He starts defending me and my spine stiffens as I imagine the consequences of that.

"No don't say anything Zaz! I don't think that I was suppose to tell you or anybody. He might....do something worst to me." He sighs after pulling up in front of my apartment. I look him in his eyes before exiting the car.

"...Sure I got you.....but promise me that we'll talk more. I really like you...Bella." He rotates in his seat to face me and I half smile.

"....Fine...here." I hand him my phone to save his number and when he's done I turn to get out the car, grabbing my bad from the backseat. I walked tiredly to my gate stopping to pick up a envelope that had my name written on it. The letter was from some community college about thirty minutes from here. I just stuck it in my bag and continued in the house. The door was cracked and I got worried that somebody broke in so I cautiously walked around the side of the building.

"What the fuck Lyric!?" I scream covering my eyes. This trifling ass bitch was out here sucking some boy's dick.

"What?? Can you give me a minute?" I did just that. Locking her ass outside I jogged up the stairs and unlocked the apartment door. My mama was sitting in the living room rocking Camden, he lit up when he saw me come through the door and damn near tore my mama's arms off trying to get to me. I dump my bag on the floor and scoop him up in my arms giving him a really tight hug and showering him in the kisses.

"Bella where in the hell was yo ass at?!" She charges from around the couch.

"I stayed late at the cafe....I helped clean up and stuff." I lie. I still haven't told nobody about my 'side job' since I was still embarrassed about it and I'm sure that my mama would kill me even though I'm trying to do the right thing. "Where's Camille?" I carry Camden to my room and she follows.

"She's in her crib sleeping, because I put her there like five hours ago. When you should of been here." She presses.

"Come on don't jump down my back because of this, I'm tryin' to make as much money as possible. I got two kids to take care of and get my own place." She rubs her head and stands in the doorway silent.

"....Bella just call or something, I have a life too. I don't wanna be here watching your kids every damn night."

"Who else gon' watch them ma?" I get frustrated dropping Cam on the bed.

"I DON'T KNOW! That's your problem, you had all these damn kids not me! When I had my two kids I was married, I had help. You wanted to be grown so damn bad that you got yourself in this mess and no one is obligated to help you at all. It's call being responsible." She tries to lecture me.

"Yeah married. To the same bastard who left you for my high school friend. Some help you got." I lightly chuckle under my breath. I felt her presence move closer and I finish doing what I was doing.

"Excuse me? Is this really what you wanna do? I'm trying to help you every way I can and you wanna be disrespectful? Let's see who watch them kids tomorrow." She leaves out the room and I look over at Cam who fell asleep in my bed. After I change into my PJs I start emptying out my duffle bag and come across the letter I got in the mail. Some college wanted to give me a shot and I was honestly considering it but how was I gone find the time?