I Did This To Me (Justin Bieber)

Chapter Sixteen: Jesika

Dear Journal,

I really don't like Caitlin. I thought maybe once all the stuff with Justin settled down, we could possibly be friends, but she's just taken things too far. I still don't want to forgive Justin, but he's trying. I know he wants me to forgive him, but I can't. I really can't. But its kind of hard not to when he jokes around with me, or when he tells Caitlin off, or doesn't defend her. Or says things like he'd rather know me than not be with her. Why is he so confusing?

August 20, 2011 ; Jesika Williams

Chaz, Christian, Ryan, and I had left Caitlin and Justin to be on their own. I had walked away because I didn't want to deal with them and Chaz and Christian both came after me and Ryan ran after them, not wanting to be left with Justin and Caitlin. Last I knew, they were arguing. No one wants to be around while they are arguing. 

The park was huge, we could easily be here all day and never get to every ride. Just walking around, a ton of people said hi to each of the boys and I wondered if they were fans of Justin and just knew his friends. I didn't ask and I ignored the people saying hi. "So whats going on with you and Justin?" I heard Christian ask as he came along side me. I turned and glared at him.

"Nothing. He's a jerk." I told Christian. It wasn't a total lie. There wasn't anything going on between us, but he wasn't a total jerk all the time. When it was just him and I, he was really nice. What am I saying?

"Are you sure?" Was I sure? No. Was I going to pretend to be sure?

"Yes." I answered, not only him, but my own question in my head as well.

"Alright. Sorry for asking." Christian raised his hands up in surrender but I could see the smirk on his face. Go ahead, think what you want, not that I care. 

We were looking around and had been arguing about which rides we wanted to go on. Christian and Ryan ended up going on this fully enclosed ride where they had you sit on mats while it spun in circles. I was very claustrophobic so I stayed back and Chaz offered to stay with me. 

"I think we should go on that while they're in there." Chaz nodded to a giant roller coaster and I smiled over at him.

"Lets go." I started to run toward the line for the roller coaster and I heard Chaz start running behind me, laughing.

We got into the line to the roller coaster and stood leaning against the railing bars. "This could take a while." I looked up at Chaz and looked at the line that had about eighty to a hundred people in it other than us. This was going to take forever. 

"We should play twenty questions while we wait." Chaz suggested. I shrugged at him. "Alright, I'll start off easy. Favorite color?" He asked.

"Yellow, yours?"

"Green, but that does not count as your question." Chaz told me.

"Fine. How long have you known Justin and Ryan?"

"Well forever really." Chaz answered. "Favorite song?"

"I don't like music so I have no idea. I only just recently started giving it a chance again." We continued asking each other questions and moved up in line until we were the next ones to go on the roller coaster. It was definitely more than twenty questions.

"Hey, there you guys are!" I heard Justin holler to us. He came into line with us with Caitlin on his heels and the guy ushered us into the seat. It fit all four of us. Chaz was on the very inside, he was the first to get on. I got on after and was next to him, then Justin, and Caitlin was the last one and on the outside.