I Did This To Me (Justin Bieber)

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Jesika

Dear Journal,

I stayed at Justin's house last night. I slept in his bed. With him. But thats all we did. We talked and cuddled and he traced my scars. It was the sweetest night with him and I really hope we get a repeat of that at some point. I can't get rid of the butterflies and I actually think I do like him. But I wouldn't ever admit that to anyone else.

September 11, 2011 ; Jesika Williams

"It was just like the perfect night." I told Claire and fell onto my bed. She was smiling at me like crazy. 

"Jesika you are so in love with him." She said and I just rolled my eyes.

"No, it was just cute." I told her. "He just cuddled with me and we talked. "The best part was we didn't even fight. Like not even once." I gushed. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face even if I wanted to. I've been like this since I got back to my house this morning. Justin had to go to the studio and he walked me over to my house before he left. Then I called Claire because I had to talk t someone. 

"I can't believe you don't even see it. You're like a kid in a candy story when you talk about him. Goofy grin and everything." Claire smiled over at me. "Its alright if you like him. You'd be crazy not to with the connection you guys have."

"I just, I feel like things are easier now that he isn't with Caitlin. Oh! And I didn't tell you but we talked about her last night too. I asked what would happen if she changed and wanted to get back together, what would happen to us? And you know what he said?" I asked but didn't wait for her to respond before I answered, "he said he wouldn't let anything get between us."

"What would you do if he got back with Caitlin?" Claire asked.

"I don't know. I didn't really think about that." I told her honestly and crinkled my eyebrows. "I definitely wouldn't be happy about it. Especially after last night. That would be a slap in the face. But I mean, its not like I confessed my feelings for him, not that I have any," I added quickly, "so I can't really tell him not to."

"Actually you can, and I bet he'd listen to you if you told him you really didn't want him to get back with her. He's head over heels for you."

"I'm not going to stop him from dating someone. Especially when I know he likes me. I mean, what if he wants to get over me so we're just friends again? I can't tell him not to try. Like that would be mean of me. Thats worse than leading him on." I told her.

"I get what you're saying. But honestly, if you tell him not to, I think he would listen, not because he thinks you like him, but because he doesn't want you to get upset and it means a better chance to be with you even if its not a very high chance. If he's with Caitlin after you tell him not to then that lowers his chance and you guys start fighting."

"I don't know. I don't think its fair of me to tell him not to date someone. Especially when I haven't even made up my mind about him anyway." I told her.

"How long is he in the studio today?" Claire asked me and I shrugged. 

"I'm really not sure. He just said until he finished. I'm not sure what that means for him and I don't think he gets like a time so, whenever he's done I guess." Claire nodded at me. 

"We should have Blake over too." Claire spoke up.

"Sure. Text him to come over or something. We can watch some movies or I don't really know." I told her.

"We could hang out and talk or play board games or watch movies like you said." Claire said as she typed away on her phone. It didn't take long for Blake to respond back agreeing to come over and it took even less time for him to make his way here. My mom let him in and showed him to my room and then we were all seated on my bed. I hadn't told either of them about much of my past and it didn't seem to bother them. I also edited those parts out of my story to Claire.

"So whats going on?" Blake asked us.

"Justin's in love with Jesika and Jesika's in love with Justin. Just the usual." Claire told him and my eyes practically popped out of my head.

"Claire!" 

"Aw, Jes, everyone knows it but you two." Blake told me and my cheeks flamed. We all sat around talking and Blake admitted to us who he had a crush on at school. I picked on him about it, since the girl was in a couple of my classes, I told him I'd just drop hints to her so he was now telling me I couldn't do that but I kept teasing him and found myself out on my balcony with him. 

Somehow he was right in front of me and tickling my sides while Claire watched from the doorway. It was getting darker out but I found myself looking towards Justin's window as I laughed from Blake tickling me. Justin was looking out his window with his phone to his ear so I waved to him and he waved back. 

Blake stopped long enough to look up and see who I was waving to and he waved to Justin too, then went right back to tickling me. I grabbed his hands from my sides and put my palms flat on his, pushing my fingers between his to make him stop and he just grinned down at me. I rolled my eyes at him. "Fine, I won't say anything, but I think you should!" I told him.

"I'll tell her when you tell Justin how you feel about him." Blake said and nodded over to Justin's house.

"I don't even know though." 

"Well figure it out and tell him."

"You could have a girlfriend in the time it takes me to figure it out." I crossed my arms over my chest. Guys were so stupid sometimes.

"Just think of it this way. You're responsible for my lack of love life because you won't tell Justin how you feel." Blake turned and walked back through my balcony door.

"Its not my fault you're too scared to ask a girl out." I told him following through the door and shutting it behind me. "Mine and Justin's relationship has nothing to do with yours."

"Aw she said their relationship!" Claire squealed and clapped her hands together. "I knew our Jesika loved him."

"I do not love him! We're just friends."

"For now." Claire grinned at me. "They'll make the best couple ever. Once they get over the whole awkwardness of being friends but acting like they're in a relationship. Gosh, I don't know how you do it Jes. You know he likes you and you like him. I don't see what the problem is." Claire told me and I just glared at her but I don't think she noticed because she just kept going on and on.