I Did This To Me (Justin Bieber)

Chapter Thirty-One: Justin

That talk with Jes did not go like I wanted it to. 

When I told her that I was back with Caitlin, she was gone. Why can't she just try one more time. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Maybe I shouldn't even be with Caitlin. I don't even know what I want right now. I do want to be friends with Jes and I miss Caitlin but things are different with us. It isn't quite how I wanted things to happen and I don't know if I want to be with her still. She doesn't seem into it either. She's leaving in two days to go back home. She came up to talk to me and now we're weird together.

My other talk with Jes didn't go great either. She basically told me to stay away again. She told me all I do is hurt her. I don't want to hurt her.

September 22, 2011 ; Justin Bieber

Caitlin was meeting me at the park in about ten minutes. I told her that we needed to talk and to my surprise, she agreed that we needed to. Maybe she could even feel the awkwardness of us being together again.

I sat on the swing waiting for her to show up and when she did, she sat on the swing beside me. "Justin, I think we need to move on." She blurted out before I said anything. "I mean, things were great when we started but after everything that's happened, I don't know. Things seem, strange."

"I know what you mean. It's different now. A lot has changed between us and we're different people now."

"I can see how much Jes means to you and I'm sorry if I actually messed things up between you guys. But I know how much you like her and I know you liked me like that too, but its not us anymore."

"Thank you Caitlin. You really have changed and you know that you'll always be my first love."

"I know, and you're mine. But they don't always last. Maybe one day we'll go back but that day is not here yet." She smiled at me. "But we're good, right?" She asked.

"Of course." I stood up and she came and hugged me. "I don't want there to be anything wrong between us because the way things ended last time was not how I wanted things to go." I told her honestly.

"Nothing bad. We're friends." She told me and I nodded. "Well, I should go. I have to pack my stuff back up and what not. And you need to fix things with Jes."

"Yeah. I'm leaving to finish my tour and I still haven't exactly told her yet."

"Justin, she's going to kill you." Caitlin said and I squeezed my eyes shut. 

"I didn't know how to tell her. And every time we talked, we ended up in a fight."

"How mad was she when you told her we were back together?"

"Well, lets just say she wanted to throw me out of my own window." 

"Good luck." She gave me one last hug and then she left the park. I sat back on the swing. As far as break ups go, I couldn't have asked for a better one. Caitlin was finally owning up to all she did and it was nice to know that she actually was sorry about it. Its also nice that we're still going to be friends because I'll always have a spot in me that only she can fill. But she's right, Jes means a lot to me. I may even love her but I don't know.

What I do know is I have to fix things between her and I. She can't stay mad at me forever but honestly I wouldn't blame her for completely hating me for all of this. Maybe I would just sit here for a while. It was peaceful outside and because it was getting colder everyday, not many kids were playing in the park. There were two kids running around on the jungle gym where the slide was, they looked about eight years old and there was a set of what looked like twin girls in the sandbox. I smiled at them as I continued to slowly move back and forth on the swing.