I Did This To Me (Justin Bieber)

Chapter Thirteen: Jesika

Dear Journal,

I can't believe I ever trusted Justin. How could I be so stupid!? I knew he didn't care about me, I knew it. I knew he would just let me down. Everything I told him and now this. I can't believe this. I'm so stupid.

I told him really personal things all because I believed his stupid lies. Of course he wouldn't care for me. Especially since he already has Caitlin. I was probably just some charity case. Him just saying he'd help anyone for his dumb press.

August 18, 2011 ; Jesika Williams

What do they not get about leave me alone? First Justin comes up and then Christian. They even sent Ryan up! Seriously, he hasn't even ever said two words to me. I wish Christian wasn't Caitlin's brother. How are they even related? They are like polar opposites! I swear, if they send Caitlin up here, I'm going to scream. That would be the worst thing they could ever do.

I was so angry and I was getting so warm from being so worked up that I took my sweatshirt off. I can't believe Justin said he didn't care about me! I was trying to make sure everything was going okay, I was standing outside the door listening. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I just need to stay away from Justin.

Moments later, a soft knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. "If thats Caitlin, you better leave now." The knocking continued. "If thats Mom or Pattie or Ty leave me alone." The knocking continued yet again. I walked over and put my head against the door. "Chaz?" I asked softly.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Why?"

"I need to borrow five bucks." He spoke and I scowled.

"What?" I opened the door, "The first time you talk to me, you ask for money?" He stepped into the doorway so I couldn't shut him out.

"No, but I got you to open the door." Chaz smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and he walked forward until he was standing right in front of me and he shut the door behind him.

"So what are you really here for then? And if you say to get me to go downstairs, I'm not afraid to slap you."

"Actually, I wanted to see if you'd tell me why you ran up here." Chaz whispered.

"It was nothing." I went and sat down on my bed, pulling my knees up close to my chest. Chaz came and sat in front of me. I was very aware I had taken my sweatshirt off and was only in my t-shirt. Chaz was just looking at me. "What?" I asked, twiddling my fingers.

"I was waiting for you to tell me truthfully."

"It was nothing, seriously."

"Then why don't you want to go downstairs?" Chaz asked.

"Does it matter?" I countered.

"If it didn't, you'd go downstairs." I just looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows. "Was it something I did?"

"No."

"Ryan?"

"No." 

"What about Christian?"

"No." I sighed and looked at him.

"What did you hear when you were listening at the door?" He asked and I dropped my eyes to the blankets on my bed. "You know, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone, I promise." I shot my head up at him.

"Don't promise me anything." I snapped at him.

"Okay, okay." He raised his hands up in surrender. "No promises." I smiled at him.

"Sorry." 

"Its cool. So anything you want to tell me, I'm all ears." He sat waiting expectantly.