I Was, I Am.

-INCOMPLETE REVELATIONS-

I stared at the phone screen; feeling this weird sort of impatience as I waited for the webpage to load. It must've been minutes, but it seemed like hours to me; watching that ring on the extreme left of the webpage rotate.

At last, it stopped and a familiar blue bar popped up.

'Log in' it said; as I quickly typed in the details; waiting for another couple of minutes for my profile page to finally open. Sixteen notifications; out of which seven were friend requests all from unknown people, one tag on a cheesy picture of friendship by Aaliya, two likes on some ancient profile picture of mine and six new uploads; Disha Thapar's new uploads.

I went to her profile instantly, checking out all of her pictures; smiling wide; she looked beyond happy. All pictures were with her colleagues; except one with Arjun; a selfie. They both looked quite happy. She almost instantly updated her status saying 'Life's finally perfect.'

There was one instant 'like' to that. My gaze shifted to my list of friends on the right; a familiar green dot was visible next to two names; Aakash Malhotra and Disha Thapar. I took a nervous gulp. It had been three months since I'd spoken to either of them. Honestly speaking, I had expected this from Aakash; but Disha; never. Not after all that we'd been through together.

'Out of sight, out of mind.' This was a quote I had laughed at once upon a time. I had three people in my life to prove it wrong.

But today, as I found myself trying to find out bits and pieces of my best friend's life through the most clichéd way that I had never thought I would use; I realized how true it was. She'd forgotten me; my thought never crossed her mind; while I couldn't stop worrying about her.

I know what this sounds like; an egoistic me refusing to make the first move. But well, egoistic it is. I could not get myself to text; or call; or communicate first. I had stared at her contact for hours several times; but just couldn't press that green button and ring her up. I wanted her to make the first move.

Another notification popped up suddenly; Aakash Malhotra's upload.

I switched profiles to look at his picture. It was with a girl; a very pretty one. It did not take a lot of observation skills to notice how his arm twirled around her curvy waist scooping her into him and how she pressed herself to his chest with delight; they were in the 'it's complicated' phase I guessed. And I should not conceal the fact as to how amazing they looked together.

I looked deep within my heart for any feeling; and there it was. That tiny part of me that was not okay with realizing Aakash truly was moving on.

I sighed looking up from my desk, at the big, eye-catching cabin of the Design Head. Just the same instant, even in the middle of a telephonic conversation, Mr. Ahuja seemed to turn my way.

I should've looked away, but I couldn't, not when he continued gazing at me like that; like he wanted me to know he was looking at me. A weird part of my subconscious felt like he wanted to get to know me as much as I wanted to get to know him outside of the professional space. But another part of me stubbed that line of thought. He was too senior and too attractive to harbour those kinds of feelings for me. Besides, I was literally a walking-talking mess, there wasn't anything about me that he could find even remotely attracted.

The question was, why then did he always gaze at me like that? Like he wished he could say more?

Urgh. There I go with over-analysing things again!

I considered making the first move for a fleeting second, but realized it would be wrong. It would be against our work ethics and we both knew it. I was first to break eye contact, as I let out another deep sigh.