I Was, I Am.

-THE SECRET-

 "Do you really need to go?" I sighed the umpteenth time as I watched Ma pack her stuff.

She gave me a stern look for fleeting second as she resumed her packing for their one month long trip to numerous hill stations.

"Ma; I'm not even great friends with Aakash and Disha and Arjun anymore." I tried; at a failed attempt at stopping her.

"But we planned this trip years before..." she stated.

"...and Aditi; what you four share are your matters. Don't drag all of us into it." Papa joined.

"But I need you two. At least now."

Papa placed his hand on my head gently as he continued; "We're only a phone call away. And you're a grown woman now beta. What had you told me? That you and Dev have thought all this through right? Then why are you so scared?"

Ma walked out into the living room at that; as I stared down at my palms folded in my lap.

"I don't know Papa. I'm just scared-"

"-of what?"

"...of failing. Papa I've never seen doubt in Dev's eyes before. Not once for the two years I've known him. But now; I see it every day. He never says anything but I can see it. And it scares me. I don't want him to fail. I mean...us to fail."

He smiled as he nodded softly;

"It's been two years since you joined SENSES huh?" he paused, "...how time flies."

I couldn't help but feel a little annoyed that instant; for here I was; sharing my feelings with Papa and he was getting philosophical.

"Where were you six months ago?" he asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Where were you two six months ago? Come on. Think and tell me."

I pondered over it for some time and then concluded at last; "Delhi. Remember that Airport redesigning project?"

God! That feels ages ago!

"Yes. And what were your fears then?"

"I don't know...I'd wanted to help Dev but I was scared of..." I stopped as I felt my cheeks flushing. How can I tell him all this?

"Go on." He said in a very consoling tone.

I took a deep breath as I started, "...scared of losing Dev. It was his business plan; and I'd thought he'd move on with life once he'd leave SENSES."

He smiled one of his knowing smiles as he continued,

"And what happened?"

"He stuck around me."

A grin emerged on my face as I let everything sink in.

"You'll always have fears Aditi. We all do; but don't let them stop you from working for what you want."

"Thanks Papa." I continued to grin as I hugged him tightly.

"For what?"

"For this."

"You are most welcome. But when do you plan on telling him?"

I looked up from the hug with confusion as he spoke; as though it were the most obvious thing so far; "that you're in love with him."

I'd always been way closer to my Mother than I had ever been to my Father. And all through my life I'd seen him to be extremely busy with office work. There had been more than one occasion when I'd felt horribly neglected. Which is why; when I sensed that he'd observed this much about me; I felt too overwhelmed with emotions.