I Was, I Am.

-THE LETTER-

I could just read the letter and then pretend like I didn't.

No, I'm not going to read it.

One look won't harm.

Deciding that; I tugged at the folds of the paper and read the first word written in a rushed but clear handwriting.

ADITI,

Should I read it? I asked myself again, my mind in turmoil. My eyes scanned the office and stopped near the coffee machine; where Mihir stood making himself coffee. Sitting diagonally from him; Adrija's eyes were glued on him with a strange longing. An unknown emotion stirred within me.

I need to know what had happened.

Taking a deep breath; I continued reading,

When the modern means of communication fail; the ancient work. I firmly believe in this; which is why here I am; writing to you.

I can only hope that you don't crumple this piece of paper and throw it away. Please Aditi; if you think that I deserve a second chance; at least hear me out. After that, I will accept whichever decision you take.

Since you haven't looked me in the eye for a while I presume you don't know how happy I am for you and Dev. While I'm sure you would've already guess it by now, but I'll still mention it here. Dev and I go way back, we're actually very close friends. There's a long story behind it, that I would like to tell you; maybe over a cup of Tony Uncle's lemon tea. I go there every day; by the way.

I know it is completely my fault and believe me Aditi, there has not been a minute where I didn't die of the guilt to have ruined things with you to an extent that though you are there in front of me right now, I cannot even walk up to you, hug you tight and tell you how proud I am that you finally proved your worth to SENSES; the way the others can.

I met Adrija in a training programme like yours a couple of months before I joined SENSES and as you must've figured by now, fell in love with her. I was too young to understand anything.

I didn't pay heed to how different the two of us were. For me; she was this beautiful woman I fell in love with and who loved me back and not the daughter of the owner of the Pinnacle Enterprises.

Familial backgrounds do matter Aditi, and that was something I learnt then.

I'm a middle class Punjabi boy from Chandigarh, but my origin goes back to an interior and backward village that you've probably never even heard of. I have grown up to see subdued women in my family. My father would work and come home drunk, he would raise his voice at Mum and throw things to the floor. I will not make him a villain and say he hurt my Mum; he never did; physically; he loved her way too much to do that. But mentally; my mother was always in a state of trauma. I lived in a family where hurting your wife, whom you love, was acceptable.

My Tauji(Uncle) was a whole new story though. He left no stone unturned to prove to my Taiji(Aunt) that he was the 'man'. I don't want to get into gory details.

My family still doesn't approve of working women.

Amidst this chauvinism and a complete patriarchal family; I grew up to become what I am today. A chauvinist or not, you'll be the best judge.

And one fine day, this girl walks into my life. Disha is Bengali right? You know how Bengali women are. Adrija was this gorgeous, confident, independent woman who feared absolutely nothing. She was the kind that wouldn't take 'no' for an answer and would never bow down, certainly not to a man.

I fell for her, I fell hard. It only made matters easier for me that she loved me too. But then, her parents found out and wished to meet me. Things didn't turn out the way I would want them to. Mr. Mukherjee did not approve of me; or rather my status.

Adrija didn't say a thing.

At first he insulted my job, my dreams, my character and at last my family; which was the limit to my patience. I raised my voice and he declared that things should end between Adrija and I.

She still didn't say a thing.

One month later she came back to me saying she wanted to start fresh anew; but in hiding from her father for she loved us both.

I refused.

I wasn't doing anything wrong. I loved a woman sincerely and she loved me back. There was nothing to hide, right?

Six months later, we both ended up in SENSES. I should've known she would. Things never went back to how they were between us but we developed this unspoken friendship where we reached out for the other in times of need. I rejected her advances with all the politeness I had. My self respect was way too important for me.

And then, you came in.

I will admit it all started with attraction but then I came to know you better. Your commitment for everything you loved moved me and over time I figured I wanted to be a part of your life.

When you told me about Aakash, I felt a pang of jealousy at first; but then I grew to love and respect how he left an indelible impression in your life. I don't want to rub away his memories Aditi, I just want you to make new ones with me.

If I hid my past from you, it was only because I was scared of losing you. You don't know how hard it was for me to see you struggle with Adrija every, single day. It was my fault, but you blamed yourself.

I'm sorry Aditi. I was selfish; I was too scared to lose you.

But looks like I have anyway.

Maybe I know why you drew back all along. I have seen that weird intimacy you and Dev share; it's hard not to notice. I have never seen him look at a woman like that. And I also know that you're confused because you're simply trying to move on from Aakash.

All I want is for you to give me chance. Because I don't know what kind of love this is; whether it's just friendship or a level beyond that, but I love you and I need you. Please forgive me.

Mihir

***

A/N:

This was a short chapter I know, but I was pretty sure this was exactly how I wanted it to end. A teeny tiny cliffhanger. I really want to know what you guys think will be Aditi's reaction. 

How would you guys react?

Do you think Mihir is at fault? Or is Aditi being unreasonable?

Is Adrija really that big a bitch?

Let me know your views guys.

Any FOREVER 21 fans here? I'm a HUGE fan! It sucks how Bombay has only three major outlets; out of which only the one in Thane rocks. I live damn far and had to travel for like, two hours to get there. But once I got there, it was HEAVEN.

Man, I love shopping. And I love Forever 21.

Lol. Randomness overload. Good mood I guess. I had my Annual Day yesterday and it was a super duper hit. I also didn't screw up my UTs. And I'm going on vacation tomorrow!!!!

I'll try my best to update. :)

This chapter is dedicated to TheOriginalAnny. She is a lovely friend and a very supportive reader. I swear to God I have not had a reader as observant as her. She literally sees through EVERY damned loose end that I keep. I love you to bits okay? :*

Anyway, huge author's note. Apologies.

Don't forget to vote and comment,

Until the next update, Tata.

~kimayaa a.k.a. Ankita