I woke up to Robert sitting next to me on the bed shaking my shoulder, I raised my hands up to rub my eyes but my muscles felt so sore, I could barerly keep my eyes open... "What?" I croaked out while looking at him my voice hurt. His hand was on my cheek, he looked down at me worried, "It's 1 in the afternoon....Amanda you don't look to good are you okay?" I grabbed onto his collar and pulled myself up, "Yea well you look great too." I muttered, I sat on the edge of the bed while holding my throbbing head, "No really...you look sick, maybe it's cus you walked in the rain? I'll go get you medicine." He said while standing up, "No Robert..I felt this way once before." ..I tried to standup but my hands were shaky, honestly I felt like I couldn't even think straight, "Take me to my dorm." I said while walking slowly to my clothes, they were still wet so I put them in a plastic bag, Robert just stood at the door watching me skeptically. I went into the bathroom and I was shocked by my own face. I looked so pale, I was sweating, my face felt so damp, my nostrils felt sore and all I really wanted was some coke...that will make me feel better again, I need it..I splashed some cold water on my face and held onto the edges of the bathroom sink and looked at myself in the mirror, I started to feel agitated..."I just want some coke maybe there is a little bit in my purse somewhere." I walked out of the bathroom to see Robert leaning against the front door with his arms crossed across his chest, "Where is my purse?" I asked quickly while running around..he pushed himself off the door and walked up to me, "Why are you acting so jumpy?" I got on my hands and knees and looked under the bed, "Where is my purse?!" I shouted I stood up and Robert was staring at me silently with his head tilted to the side. I found my purse on a chair in the corner of the room, I smiled to myself and went back to the bathroom while trying to fumble through my purse , I slammed the door and set my purse on the sink, "Come on there has to be a little in here...just enough to get me through an hour or two..." I opened the little zipper inside my purse and found a tiny bag...probably enough for half a line. I grabbed the little bag..."Ok how can I do this I don't have any bills on me..." I started looking in my purse for a piece of paper when the door flung open, before I knew it Robert had snatched my purse out of my hands he was towering over me, I hid the baggy in my hand behing my back, "Amanda you aren't going to do this! Not while I'm here!" I flinched.. "What are you talking about?" I said while looking him calmy in the eyes...he was mad and his eyes showed it, "You said you didn't have any on you, you lied. Give it to me." "I don't have any." I said with a straight face, "Then why were you rummaging for your purse like a psycho?"...I paused.."I was looking for my makeup." he squinted at me, "Amanda show me what's in your hand." he said sternly, "I don't have anything in my hand." he looked at me for a second before turning around and walking towards the door, I let out a deep breath, he turned back around on his heels and grabbed me...I started to squirm and kick but that didn't effect him in the slightest. He walked out of the bathroom and I managed to kick him with the back of my foot in the thigh, he grunted and dropped me to my feet while still gripping onto my arms, I fell on to the bed and he fell over me, I got my arms out from his grasp and curled up on my knees into a ball with my hands tucked in underneath me and my arms shut close to my side, I wasn't going to move...I wasn't going to let Robert take it, "Amanda give it to me." he said while breathing heavily next to me on the bed, "No." "Amanda g-" "NO!" I shouted, "Okay....you win." he said quietly..I could feel the bed move as he got off, I looked up and turned my head to see him, he was looking down, I sat up on my knees and took a deep breath, I started to feel guilty...he went over to his suitcase and started grabbing some clothes, I sat there not sure if I should say anything....."What are you doing?" "Getting clothes...." "Why?" "Because I can't get on the plane in only my boxers." he said bluntly while looking in his suitcase, I stood up and walked over to him, I put my hand on his back and he ignored it, I wrapped my arms around his stomach and hugged him he brought his hands down to mine and held them, "I don't want you to go..." I whispered. "Well there isn't anything left for me here so...why shouldn't I." it pained me to hear him say that, "That's not true..." he let go of my hands and turned around, "Isn't it? Amanda I'm not some toy." I looked down as he stared at me.."I know you love me don't deny it..." he was right, "But do you love me?" I said quietly, he raised his eyebrows, "Did I not say that last night? Did I not prove that by finding Chris and making him tell me which dormitory you stay at? Or by flying all the way over her for five hours straight and calling off work as soon as I heard what was going on? Or convincing your roommate to let me in your dorm room? Or even by getting my ass kicked by your boyfriend and STILL taking you in last night? If that's not love then I don't know what the fuck is." I stood there silently...I knew I deserved for him to snap at me like that but that really made me realize how stupid and selfish I was... "I'm sorry Robert.." tears started to roll down my cheek, "I love you...you are right. I don't think I ever stopped loving you." I cried, "If you love me you would stop trying to ignore our feelings for eachother.and you'd flush those drugs." I looked at him shocked, "I can't..." he nodded his head, "Yes you can and you will, if you love me you will do it. If you care at about you self, you woll do it." I looked at him and then at the baggy in my hand, he sighed.."Well then....I'm gonna get dressed." he said quietly while turning back to his suitcase, I walked over to the bathroom and lifted the toilet lid...I opened the bag and dumped what was in it quickly before I change my mind..I took a deep breath and flushed it down, I tossed the baggy in the garbage and just cried, Robert came and held me while kissing the top of my head, "What am I going to do? I feel like...I-I can't even function without it." I sobbed, "I'm here..I will help you," he lifted my head so that I could look him in the eyes, "But I am not going to help you unless you want it, no one can get help and actually overcome this unless they want to for themselves..." I ripped away from his hug, "You don't know what it's like Robert it's easy for you to say all this crap cus you don't know!" "I know exactly what it's like!" he said back, "How could you possibly know what it's like to basically depend on drugs?!" he paused, "Because I went through it." it got quiet...I was confused, "What do you mean?" he sighed..."When I was young....I got mixed up in the stuff you do and worse...alot worse, I'm talking cocaine...weed..depressants..crack smoking black tar heroin, which is the worst of em..all while being completely shit faced drunk. After many many years and attempts at rehab and trying to sober up and falling back into it...I decided to put an end to it, I decided to get help...I made that decision for myself...I reached out for it. If you feel like you are ready and you want the help for yourself and not just for me.....then I can help you. You can only help yourself Amanda, all those interventions and shit...do you know why alot of them fail? Cus the person hasn't decided to stop for themselves. So make your choice and do it for the right reason because if you aren't fed up, if you don't want things to really change...then you're just fucking yourself cus you're gonna go back to this crap...and maybe even worse, believe me." I looked at him shocked, "Why...didn't you ever tell me?" he leaned back against the sink and shrugged, "I didn't feel it was necessary to talk about, it never came up... I'm not ashamed of it..it has made me into the man I am today, and I don't make excuses for myself.. I accept my own humility. When I found out what you had gotten yourself into that's why I came here as soon as I could, because when I was your age and I was mixed up in all this shit, I hung out with people who instead of trying to give me other choices or trying to atleast help or find me help, they supplied me the drugs...I was with a bad crowd. I wish that there was someone who could give me the key that I am giving you....you can only really clean up if you want to. Instead, I was arrested and forced to go to rehab and jail and forced to try and clean up, but when you are forced you don't actually want to do it for yourself so you're just wasting your time because you will relapse again.. do you get what I'm saying?" I nodded my head slowly..he watched me as I took everything in, "Do you ever...miss it?" he scoffed, "You mean do I miss waking up after a blackout in some unknown place feeling like I just got beat across the head with a baseball bat and craving any drug to get me up and going? No. My coffee is good enough." I looked away, "Are you tired of this Amanda?"......"Yes...but no...I'm just so scared of what will happen to me without it...you don't know how it was before I got into it, you didn't see how much of a mess I was Robert." "You look like a mess to me now to be honest.." "Yea but just imagine a couple months before the coke..." He looked at me and studied my face, "Like I said...I can help you, but only if you really want help..." "I want you." I whispered, "But...you're going back today." he stepped forward, "I can postpone that.." "What about work?" "I can find a job here ina flash if I need to." I smirked, "Oh really?" "Yes." he said while smiling and cupping my face, "I love you Amanda and I'm going to help you...but you've got to want it...it's gonna be hard, and we are gonna have to see a professional obviously, but I'm gonna be here to support you." Without giving it another thought, I raised my hand up to his on my face and held it, "Okay...I want help." I said while looking him in the eyes...he smiled and brought his lips to mine, soon enough we were kissing eachother frantically as if we hadn't had eachother in forever, "I love you." he said in between breaths, "I love you Robert." he smiled against my lips before pushing me out of the bathroom and out onto the bed without breaking the kiss, he was hovering over me and I was just enjoying his touch, his body against mine, the taste of his lips, it had been a long time since I felt this.
He was still in only his boxers, he started pulling on the waist band of the jogging pants that he gave me to wear, I smirked.."Someone's eager." he pulled away and looked down at me, his golden brown eyes were now dark with lust, "It's been a long time." he mumbled while hastily pulling off my pants, I just smiled to myself and let him continue, he reached for my shirt and started pushing it up while kissing my stomach, I ran my fingers through his hair while pulling on it, "Robert?" "Mhm?" he mumbled, "Have you um....been with anyone else..you know, like this?" he stopped and looked up at me..I almost felt embarrased for asking, "No..I couldn't, you are the only one I have wanted Amanda." I smiled, that gave me a good feeling and I didn't doubt him. "Have you?" he asked while forming a worried face, I shook my head "No, James and I did...stuff...but I just couldn't do it..yesterday James got fed up of waiting I guess cus he knew the real reason why I wasn't ready was cus, well I only wanted you." I said while blushing, he brought his face down to mine, "You have no idea how happy that makes me." he whispered while pecking at my lips. I giggled and pulled off my shirt and undid my bra as he watched me hungrily. As he sat up on his knees on the bed and I sat against the head board, I reached forward and pulled on his boxers...I just wanted him as fast as I could. He bit his lip and took them off, as I saw him in all his glory right infront of me I got nervous...I hadn't done this in four years, that's a really long time! He positioned me so that I was laying down, as he kissed my shoulder, "Are you nervous?" his voice was husky, "Uh a little bit.." I said shyly, I could feel him smirk against my skin, "You know I'm always gentle babe." I scoffed, "Yea, maybe for the first five minutes!" he lifted his head and gave me a wicked grin, I smiled and kissed him, as he explored my mouth with his tongue he brought his hand down to my mound and quickly entered my slit, I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck. After a couple minutes of that, I really felt like I couldn't wait any longer, so I rolled over him and took control, he smirked and grabbed onto my hips.."Do you hear that?" I asked as he was about to enter me, he looked like he was in a daze..."huh?" I got off him and crawled off the bed, he groaned.."What are you doing? Get back over hereee!" he whined, I held up a finger and went into the bathroom and I heard it again, my phone vibrating in my purse against the sink, I grabbed it and answered, "Hello?" "Is this Amanda DeAngelo?" "Uhm yes ...who is this?" "This is Loyola Hospital, you are listed as James Leon's emergency contact. We are required to inform you that Mr. Leon is going to be put into a rehabilitation center, he has asked for you numerous times." I paused, "Wait what? What do you mean?" "Mr. Leon had an overdose to Benzoylmethyl Ecogin. Luckily he made out to his apartment hallway and a neighbor saw him and called 911....a few seconds longer and he wouldn't have made it." I was in shock..I stood there motionless, 'Did he overdose on the coke cus of me? Is this my fault?' "Miss. DeAngelo?" "Uh yes, sorry?" "Are you going to come in before Mr. Leon is sent into rehabilitation?" I peeked out of the bathroom at Robert, now laying under the covers playing with his phone..."Um yes, I will be there soon. Thank you." I hung up and closed the bathroom door, I still couldn't believe James overdosed...holyshit, what am I going to say to Robert? What am I going to say to James?
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OHMYGOD. Sorry I don't understand why it took me so long to write this chapter like I had the worst writers block and I've been working alllll week:( But hopefully and get you guys another chapt. by the end of today. I don't like this chapt. Idk but I feel like it's crappy:/ Anyways! What do you think will happen? Will she take James back? Or will she let Robert help her get cleaned up and they end up hapoily ever after? lol VOTE-COMMENT please&thank you:)
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See You Later...[Sequel]
Fanfiction(Sequel to 'I Want You...'. If you haven't read 'I Want You...' then I suggest you do so if you want to understand anything in this story.) Is true love enough to bring two ex-lovers back to eachother? Amanda DeAngelo left Manhattan, New York...