This is to them
You know who you are
About him.
You are right
You have always been right
That must not go unnoticed
I know it deep down
He is drowning me
But you need to understand I've fallen in love with a monster
Addicted to a mirage of what I wish he was
My life
My mind
My peace
My goals
My dreams
Have been invaded by the thought of him
I've sugar coated the truth
I've lied
Telling you he is getting better
Telling you I need him because of genuine want
But that is not true
I want more than anything for him to get the hell out of my life
He is hurting me.
I am hurting myself.
I am weak
And that is why I cant let go
If I walked away
I would have no purpous
Im scared to loose the shadow of him
Because then the shadows around me will grow
And I will be left to guess
Left to drift
Without him to remind me that life is real.
You see,
What you see of me everyday
The brown haired
Green eyed
Laughing girl
Is false
I don't even know that girl
She is not me
I barely live here on earth
I live in two separate lives
The one that you see
And the one that is in my head
That one is the most real
That one is where I worry until I panic
I spin in circals until I loose my sense of direction
My thoughts loop
He is on replay
His hands that touched me
His lips that kissed me
The words he never said
The promises he never kept
And that class last year
That will not stop Haunting me
It all won't leave
So when you tell me to let go of him
You mean that in the physical world the one that is less real to me
If I do,
Stop talking to him
Stop writing him notes
Stop looking at him
That will only last so long.
Because in my other world
The one that is more real
He cannot leave
I'm permanently scared
Branded by his name
And I can't have him in one world and not the other
So I have to balance it all out.
This is complicated.
I know.
My life is only a blur.
And you don't see most of it
Most of it is in the life you can't see
The life in my head
I'm sorry for the constant talk
The constant panic you see everyday
The constant worry that you tolerate
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
For not listening
But its not what you think
I need help to erase him from my the world that you can't see
Not the world in which you speak of.
lilyrtk
leenark
Sorry this is complicated guys
Thank you, love ya!!
YOU ARE READING
Unleashed
ŞiirThis is a book of poetry. Basically my emotions unleashed through words. That is how I see poetry. Sometimes what we think about and processes in our head is to much. Writing it all out helps me let go of the mess in my head. Hope you can connect w...
