Dimelo Papi | Zabdiel De Jesus

Chapter 14: Que Lloro

Zabdiel

After my audition, the hard work and dedication didn't stop there. I made it to the middle rounds of La Banda. Forty-one of us guys made it past the auditions but in the middle rounds, any of our dreams can end right here. Thanks to God, I haven't had to leave the competition just yet. Now the judges have placed us in a band of five and we have to perform together. Our band has to work hard to win the other four bands to secure a place in the next round.

Me and the four other boys have to perform the Spanish version of "Stay with me" also known as "Quédate". They're all immensely talented and I get to know them well during the practices. During the multiple practices we develop a strong bond with one another. Christopher Velez and I developed a friendship right away, he just gives me good vibes. Joshua Greaux is my fellow boricua so we have things in common. Yoandri Cabrera in general is an incredible person, he's super focused on his goals. Although Alan Matheus is shy, he is a caring person with a beautiful voice. I'm feeling pretty confident because I know we're gonna put our all in the performance. Once we're on stage, the music begins.

"Una simple aventura no fue mi intención pero igual necesito sentir amor." Yoandri kicks off the song with his strong voice.

"Es cierto prefiero decírtelo.. No te vayas aún no me digas que no." Christopher's sings.

"Por eso quédate, ven y abrázame. Y aunque esto no es amor lo sé, cariño quédate." Joshua begins to sing the chorus.

"Sé que estoy algo emocional y está claro que no que esto no es real." I can't help but smile while singing.

"No es mi intención perder el control pero si estás a mi lado no siento dolor."

"Por eso quédate, ven y abrázame. Y aunque esto no es amor lo sé, cariño quédate." Alan is really letting himself go.

Throughout the chorus, the audience seems to be loving our performance. They're screaming and waving their hands up. Once we're finished we are all incredibly happy because we gave the performance our all and the judges seem to be pretty happy too, shocked even. I couldn't be prouder.

After all the bands our finished performing the audience of girls are given the chance to vote for a band to automatically make it to the next round. This day couldn't get any better when the audience picks us as the group that automatically makes it to the next round. This hard work is really paying off.

The next round is to make a music video with the new band you're place with. Again, the winner who has the best music video automatically qualifies for the next round. The judges pick the band leaders and then the leaders have to pick who they want in the their band. The leader of a band, Aaron Bodden, a kid who I've only talked to briefly, picks me second to be in his band. His first choice was Micke Moreno, then it was me, Alan Matheus, and lastly Christopher Velez. I won the first round with Alan and Christopher so I'm excited to work with them again.

We have to interpret the song "Bailando" and we aren't given much time to finish the music video. After our song is recorded in the studio our next step is to learn the choreography for the music video. Alan really is struggling with the dancing because he is naturally shy but with lots and lots of practice we help him during the filming of the music video. Finally after hours of filming, it's a wrap.

All of the bands present their music videos the following day and unfortunately ours doesn't win. I manage to make it to the next round along with majority of the band I was placed with except Micke who sadly gets eliminated.

Now we have to perform individually as solo artists to ensure ourselves a place in the live shows. There are only twelve spots for the live shows so I'm so nervous. I'm given the song "Que Lloro" by Sin Bandera. Of course I'm given a song that has so much meaning to me. I would always play this song when I was incredibly heart broken by Camila. The judges want me to perform this song with my guitar so this should be interesting.

"Yo no pensé que iba a llegar a esta etapa de la competencia. Ósea yo fui a audicionar con la mentalidad 'bueno vamos a intentarlo a ver qué pasa' so estoy súper contento y agradecido." I told the producers while they interviewed me in my practices.

"Aparentemente voy a hacer el único que va estar tocando la guitarra," I said.

"Realmente no me identifico con la canción por qué eso de que llorar por una pareja, no. Todavía estoy muy chiquito." I lied and faked a laugh. If anything I identify with this song perfectly. I cried and cried for her like a baby.

Before my performance Ricky decided it was best for me not to perform while playing the guitar.

Quédate un momento así. No mires hacia mi, que no podré aguantar si clavas tu mirada, que me hiela el cuerpo. Me ha pasado antes que no puedo hablar. (I remember when we fought that night, I didn't want her to look at me because then I couldn't stay mad at her once she locked eyes with mine.)

Tal vez pienses que estoy loco y es verdad un poco, tengo que aceptar. Pero si no te explico lo que siento dentro no vas a entender cuando me veas llorar. (I know I was crazy but she was the cause of it and she was crazy too. She actually knew the reason I would cry, though.)

Nunca me sentí tan solo como cuando ayer de pronto lo entendí mientras callaba. La vida me dijo a gritos que nunca te tuve y nunca te perdí, y me explicaba que el amor es una cosa que se da de pronto a forma natural, lleno de fuego. Si lo fuerzas se marchita sin tener principio llega a su final (Sadly this past year I had to realize that she was never mine, she was only temporary. Maybe she was my guardian angel to protect me from something at that moment but left when she served her purpose.)

Ahora tal vez puedas entender que si me tocas se quema mi piel. Ahora tal vez puedas entender y no te vuelvas si no quieres ver. (Whenever she touched me, my skin would ignite.)

Que lloro por ti, que lloro sin ti. Que ya lo entendí , que no eras para mí. Y llorooooo. (With or without her I would and still cry for her. But I need to understand that she isn't for me. I managed to believe that but when I sing these types of songs, it has me thinking.)

"¡Vete a celebrar, corre! ¡Vete a celebrar." Alejandro tells me after my performance.

"¡Sin llorar!" Laura remarks. I've been so emotional since I've been on the show that everyone knows me as the soft one.

After everyone performed the fans could only pick three finalists who would go directly to the live shows. The first finalist is one of my best friends Christopher, the second finalist was Joshua, and now I await for my destiny. I'm going against Joel, Richard, Erick, and Alan who are all super talented. The fans voted for me to be the third finalist and I'm grateful for the opportunity.

Wow, I really didn't know I was going to make it this far. Even if I get eliminated during the live shows I feel accomplished that I made it this far. Whatever happens, happens and I know good things are coming.

So I know this chapter wasn't what you expected but I just wanted to get it out of the way so the rest of the story can make sense. I just summarized what actually happened in "La Banda", sorry. I'll update soon ❤️ and I love the group's performance of "Quédate (Stay with me)" it's one of my favorites!