bitter || zarry stylik

twenty-six

Zayn smiles, and rubs Harry's hand affectionately, before frowning a little. "Harry, I've been thinking, and I've decided-"

Harry's eyes widen, and he snatches his hands away with a gasp. "Oh my god, are you breaking up with me?"

Zayn chuckles a little and shakes his head. "Harry, no! We've just established that we're living together. Why would I agree to that just to break up with you now? No, I'm not breaking up with you. Quite the opposite, actually." Harry takes Zayn's hands back into his, and raises his eyebrows a little. "I've decided I don't want to keep you a secret anymore."

Harry's face pales, and he tries not to smile. "But, Zayn, you can't date clients-"

"Precisely. I'm going to quit my job as a psychiatrist, and then we can be together and share it with the world. How does that sound?"

Harry wishes that he could accept that. "Zayn, you can't quit your job. You love it! I can tell. Besides, I'm not worth it."

Zayn presses his lips to Harry's, and moans a little as he pulls away. "Harry, you're worth everything in the world. I would do anything for you, sacrifice anything for you. I've made up my mind. I want to do this, Harry. And yes, I like my job, but I like you more. I love you, Harry. I'll find something else that I like to do. I'll be happy as long as I'm with you."

Harry has tears in his eyes, and Zayn doesn't think they're tears of happiness. "Zayn, you can't do that. I would feel so guilty- I-I couldn't possibly let you throw away a part of your life that you enjoy - that helps people! - just to be with me. I know you say I am, but I'm not worth the loss that would inevitably come with you quitting your job."

Zayn reaches across the table, and wipes Harry's tears with a sad smile. "My love, it's just a job. You, on the other hand, are my entire existence. I can't lose you. Please let me do this. I want to. I want to be with you, Harry."

Harry smiles, but his eyes look sad. "Zayn, I want nothing more than to be with you, but I really don't think you've thought this through. Please, just at least wait a little while before making such a big decision. Okay? Does that sound good?"

Zayn nods reluctantly, and takes a big bite of his sashimi. "Yeah, okay. But I know I'll still think the same thing then as I do now. I really, really love you, Harry, and I'm willing to do anything for you. DO you understand that?"

Harry nods, and pushes his seaweed salad back and forth with his chopsticks. "Yes, but I just think that maybe you've chosen the wrong person. Why do you love me, Zayn? I'm not pretty, or nice, or courageous, or strong. I'm weak, Zayn. I'm so fucking weak."

He's crying again, and Zayn tries not to let the tears fall from his eyes. "Harry, you're wrong. You're beautiful, brave, stronger than anyone I've ever met - seriously - and you fucking radiate beauty and kindness, Harry. Everyone seems to see it, but you."