bitter || zarry stylik

fifty-one

this edit is the most amazing thing that I've ever seen

also it is so cute I screem

this chapter is emotional and not standardly triggering but stay safe just in case, lovelies xx

and enjoy some Nickelodeon and Disney songs (-;

songs:
> leave it all to me by miranda cosgrove
> we don't believe what's on tv by twenty one pilots
> everything is not as it seems by selena gomez
> when will you come back home by ryan adams & the cardinals
> fake palindromes by andrew bird
> knockin' on heavens door by bob dylan
> he could be the one by hannah montana
> found a way by drake bell
> here I am by loren ellis
> so far so great by demi lovato
> the best of both worlds by hannah montana
> like I would by zayn
> river of tears by alessia cara

-

Zayn frowns, and wipes a tear from his cheek. "I know, Har, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sorry, my love."

Harry keeps his head turned to the side, and his eyes follow a raindrop as it trickles down the window. "It's okay, Zayn. I know. It's alright."

Zayn knows that he's hurt Harry's feelings, but he doesn't want to do anything else that could possibly make poor Harry feel worse. Zayn chuckles bitterly, and kicks off his trainers. "There's a cloud of negativity in this car, isn't there? Probably my bad. I really am sorry, lovely. I'm just having a- No, even if I'm going through some stuff, it doesn't make it okay to be a prick to my wonderful boyfriend. I'm sorry, baby. I love you."

Harry turns back to Zayn, and smiles sheepishly. "I love you too, Zaynie. You're amazing. I admire you so, so much. You're so strong, and you've helped me so much. I can't even begin to express how vital you are to me. To my recovery, to my happiness. To my survival, even. Do you understand this, Zayn? I need you. So, please, stay here. Don't leave me. Yeah?"

Zayn bites his lip to keep from crying. He's not sure if it's because Harry's muse really hit home, or if he's still crying because of his baby Waliyha. Maybe both. He wraps his arms around Harry, and kisses his shoulder firmly. "I love you. You're so sweet. Now, let's get going, alright? I want to see my mum. I miss her."

Harry presses a quick kiss to Zayn's cheek and switches his car into gear. "Alright, my love. Here we go."

Zayn turns the volume up on the stereo, and nods his head along to the song that Harry is playing. "I love this song. Bob Dylan, right?"

Harry nods, and feels his eyes drift from the road ahead of him down to Zayn's hands. They're limp in Zayn's lap, and He has a bloody hangnail on his left thumb, that Harry suspects has been picked at. "How are you feeling, love? I know I've probably asked you this a lot lately, but I think it would a good idea to do frequent mood updates. Yeah? Sound good?"

Zayn nods, and gestures towards the road ahead of them. "Yeah. Now, pay attention, Harry. Jeez." Zayn laughs a little, and wipes his bloody finger on his black trousers.

Harry obliges, but can't help but feel that Zayn is withholding his true feelings. What if he feels suicidal still? What if he tries to harm himself or something?

Harry doesn't know what he would do if he lost Zayn. He'd probably wither away into nothing, and become an unrecognisable wreck of a person. But Harry doesn't want to think about that, because he feels like if he thinks about it too much, he'll think it into reality. And Harry can't have that.

"Harry, my love, which bag did we put the drinks in?"

Harry gestures - while maintains his vision on the road - gestures towards the big paper bag in the back seat. "They should be in there. You want water?"

Zayn doesn't respond, instead rifles through the bag until he finds a bottle of white wine Harry packed for Zayn's mum. "What year is this?"

Harry frowns. "'96. Zaynie, that's for Trisha."

Zayn shrugs, and unscrews the cap. "S'alright, love. We can stop and get her a new one."

Harry looks a little uncomfortable with the thought of Zayn drinking at 9:00, but he decides to let it go. "Just a little bit, okay? You don't want to be drunk when we see your family."

Zayn chuckles a little, and looks down at the label on the bottle. "Harry, that's precisely what I want."