bitter || zarry stylik

seventy-seven

LOOK AT MY PUP HANGING OUT ON MY BED LIKE A CUTIE

Anyway, this chapter is somewhat emotional, and could be intense for some pals, so I thought I'd cheer you cuties up with a cutie of my own.

Songs:
> little do you know by alex and sierra
> heartbreak town by the dixie chicks
> trouble by coldplay
> I knew I loved you by savage garden
> oblivion by bastille
> angel down by lady gaga
> drops of jupiter by train
> stay by mayday parade
> laughter lines by bastille
> twin skeletons by fall out boy
> talk me down by troye sivan
> you're dead wrong by mayday parade
> million reasons by lady gaga

-

Harry is falling apart. He's never felt so confused and depressed and hopeless. "Zayn, I know you'll say something about me being more than enough for you, and how you'll love me just the way I am, but I'm finding that hard to believe right now."

Zayn nods, and rubs his back softly. "That's alright. Just know, Harry. You are," Zayn pauses for a moment, and looks deep into Harry's eyes, "everything."

Harry squeezes his eyes shut, and a tear drips down his cheek. "How can that be? I don't- I don't get it, Zaynie."

Zayn squeezes Harry's hand gently. "I know you don't, angel. I just need you to believe me, okay? You're singlehandedly the most wonderful person I've ever met, and I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you as my boyfriend. Okay?"

Harry nods bleakly, and sniffles a few times. "I'm sorry for having a proper meltdown on such a terrible day for you. I feel like an attention hog. I'm sorry, Zayn."

Zayn rubs Harry's cheek softly, and furrows his brows. "I know you are, my love. But you don't need to be. You can't control when you get upset."

"I know, but-"

"Harry, it's okay. Let's just get ourselves back to the house, yeah? I'll make you a cup of tea and we can snuggle up with Saf's cat and your cute sweater. Sound good?"

Harry sniffles, and nods. "Yeah."

"Just, hold my hand and squeeze as hard as you need to. Alright? We'll be home in a few minutes. Hold tight, lovey."

Harry grips Zayn's hand, and squeezes. He lets his eyes close, and he focuses solely on Zayn's thumb rubbing back and forth on his hand, and the soft hum of the song playing from his CD. He takes a long breath in, and takes his time letting it out. "That's good, Harry, breathe. It's okay to cry, baby."

Harry clenches his jaw, and feels his fingernails dig into his palms. "Not today it isn't! Fuck," he breathes. "Today is Waliyha's day and I've gone and made it about me like the fucking twat I am! Why do I always do this?! I'm such an attention-whore. Fuck me, I thought I was getting better. I'm so done."

Zayn reaches out to touch Harry, who seems to be shaking, but hid hand stops before it touches him. "Harry, you are getting better! You're not an attention-whore! Baby, please try not to be so hard on yourself. It's alright!"

Harry scoffs, and wipes his cheeks roughly with his sleeve. "That's the thing. Am I really getting better? I get the urge to cut deeper than ever daily, and I'm just so angry, all the time. I hate this. Zayn, why is this happening to me?" His voice breaks at the end, and tears begin streaming down his cheeks. "Zaynie."

Zayn pulls Harry close to his chest, and combs his fingers through his tangled hair. "Shh, it's alright, angel. You're doing so much better than when we first met. Okay? You've made so much progress. I'm so, so fucking proud of you, of my precious baby Harry. Alright? I love you so much."

At this point, Zayn's kind words make Harry cry even harder. He pulls away with a sob, and wipes his nose. "Zaynie, I'm sorry. Let's go now."

Zayn nods, and shifts the car into gear. Every few seconds, he glances over at Harry, who appears to be quieting down a bit. Harry turns the volume up on the stereo, and sings along shakily.

Zayn reaches over, and strokes Harry's cheek gently. "You'll be okay soon, lovely. I can feel it."