Everything About You

Chapter 43

The next couple days were difficult. We had to sort through Ms. Rolland’s things, deciding what would be donated to charity and what we wanted to keep. Lillie had a lot of questions about what happened to Ms. Rolland. I answered them delicately as to not make things harder on such a little girl. Ms. Rolland’s funeral would be held on Friday. She had a folder prepared in case of her death including a will which I had briefly skimmed enough to notice a relative of hers named ‘Halli Rolland’. She, Lillie, and I’s names were the most popular. Amongst the papers was funding for the funeral and other arrangements.

I wonder when it will get easier… this losing someone thing, because at the moment I’m struggling to see a brighter day… I’m struggling to laugh… I’m forcing smiles. I knew as soon as I opened my eyes I’d have to face Wednesday. Tuesday was difficult and I didn’t imagine today would be any easier. I wish I could just stay in bed forever.

I forced my eyelids open. Thankfully I was alone. I loved both Harry and Lillie but at the moment, human interaction wasn’t at the top of my favorite-things-to-do list. I didn’t want either of them to see me in this state. I was angry at the world yet I didn’t know why, it’s not like Ms. Rolland’s death was anyone’s fault. I just had a lot of emotion and it was easier to sort it into anger and sadness. I heard the clinking of glass as I resituated myself. I looked down to find a tray of breakfast food complete with pancakes covered with a whip cream heart, bacon, tea in a sock monkey cozy, a rose, and a cute little note with my name on it.

Dear Lauren,

I know the last few days have been beyond rough on you. Hopefully this made you smile at least a teensy bit! I’m downstairs probably doing something stupid at the moment. Louis and Eleanor offered to take Lillie for ice cream and putt-putt which she seemed happy about. I gave her permission to go, hopefully you don’t mind! Have a good breakfast and let me know if you need anything! I love you infinity and happy anniversary.

Love, Harry xx

I am a terrible wife. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. How do you forget your own anniversary?! It was too late to pretend I hadn’t already committed the terrible marriage crime. Yet I knew Harry wouldn’t hold it against me for a second. His forgiveness would only add to my guilt. You shouldn’t forget about you anniversary whether it’s your 3rd, 29th, or 152nd… but especially not your first! What is wrong with me?

Note to self: Start using the calendar on your phone.

I crawled from the bed and walked downstairs searching for Harry. Although I was concentrating on my apology speech, I couldn’t help but let a giggle escape as I entered the kitchen to see our garbage can filled to the top with bad batches of pancakes. Harry spun around, pointing the spatula at me as he spoke, “I can explain. The recipe on Google said until golden brown but I couldn’t see the bottom of the pancake while it was cooking.”

“Next time try just doing two minutes on each side.” I told him for future reference.

“See! If they would’ve put that on the page then these would’ve all been cooked to perfection.”

I smiled and walked over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around my waist and he leaned his forehead against mine.

“Happy anniversary,” He said.

“I’m sorry. I am such a horrible…”

Harry pressed his lips to mine, ending my protests. “You are the perfect wife. You have more than a lot going on and don’t even try to deny that. Now before you do attempt to deny your utter perfection, we are moving on to a better subject! How was breakfast?”