American Love Affair (5 Seconds of Summer fan fiction)

Chapter 51

Chapter 51

I fold my hands in my lap, wishing I were anywhere but here.  

"Lee, look at me."  Calum whispers, rubbing his hand over my thigh, I feel goosebumps rising. 

My eyes dart up, around the room, toward the buildings right outside the window, the pedestrian crossing the street boldly as a silver Lexus slams on the brakes, and then finally back to Calum.  His eyebrows are knitted together, not angry, just confused and his lips are pressed together in a fine line, like he's trying not to say something that's tugging the back of his mind.  

"Do you want to break up?  Is this what you're saying?"  

His question takes me by surprise.  I thought he would be a little more subtle about it.  I try to explain myself.  

"I...I just want you to be happy.  And I feel like sometimes, we're a burden on each other.  And other times I just don't see you."  I bite my lip and look up at the ceiling-no tears today.  "Long distance is hard." 

"Baby, I know.  I know that there are times when you need me and I'm not there for you and vice versa and fuck, you wouldn't believe how hard it is not being with you, not being able to hear your actual voice, not your telephone voice.  Sometimes I forget what....what you look like and feel like.  But we've made it work so far."  His voice cracks, like he's fifteen going through puberty.  

"Calum I know.  I've never felt the way I feel about you about anyone else.  But is it worth it?"  

Calum licks his lip and lets his head loll.  He buries his face in his hands and I can't tell if he's crying or just thinking.  I pull my legs up onto the couch and wrap my arms around his ribcage.  My mind is wild with thoughts.  What am I doing?  What are we doing?

"Lee, I think you're worth it.  I think we're worth it.  And I think we can make this work."  

"Okay."  I whisper, rubbing my hand up and down his back, trying to get him to calm down.  "Okay." 

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The green room is nice.  There are snacks laid out on a table as always and the interview is being streamed on a huge screen.  Mom is sitting down in a huge, black chair, her hands in her lap, face unreadable.  I glance at the screen, just as the interviewer makes the band laugh.  The four of them look pretty comfortable; they're used to being lightly interrogated by now.    

"So, moving on, to a different topic, you guys have talked a lot about the music today, but obviously you guys have seen the tabloids recently."  The interviewer is a man, probably a little younger than 30 with movie star good looks and a deep, smooth voice.  "Calum, do you have anything to say? This man is alleging that you assaulted him? Is that true? What actually happened?"

"Well..."  Calum begins, he's rehearsed his answer a hundred times.  "I want to start off by saying that everyone makes mistakes sometimes, but I don't think this was one.  So I was at a club with my girlfriend and I left her for a moment, just a moment.  And when I looked back she was gone.  I won't go into too much detail, but this man had drugged her and was planning to...well, he was planning to take advantage of her.  So at first all I was thinking about was making sure she was safe and okay, which obviously she wasn't.  But then I was just so angry at this man for what he did to her and what he was planning to do to her.  So I took it out on him the only way I felt appropriate.  I think it's the kind of thing that you don't think will ever happen to you or someone close to you until it does.  And I don't think you can really know how you'll act in that situation until it comes up."