American Love Affair (5 Seconds of Summer fan fiction)

Chapter 54

I take a deep breath before stepping into the hospital room.  Any hospital room makes me a bit uncomfortable to say the least: beeping heart monitors, sterile beds, windows looking out on absolutely nothing worth looking at. Yes, hospital rooms have stories attached to them too, but there are no marks of those stories in here. There are no postcards sent to loved ones who were too far to visit, no worn photographs to remind patients to keep fighting, or sweatshirts enticing the owner, waiting to be worn instead of stiff hospital dresses.

Walking in, I only see one bouquet of flowers expertly arranged, placed on Calum's nightstand.  The bouquet is the only pop of color in the room, but not for long.  Once word gets out that he's here, thousands of fans will be sending their best get well gifts: cards, teddy bears, flowers, chocolates, and even more creative things like bras and panties or collages of his face that took hours to make.  I start over to him, noting the cast on his right arm, brace around his neck, and bandages on his face. I bite my lip and take his hand into mine, moving my fingers across the back of his hand.  He grips my hand weakly and then his eyes flutter open.

"Is this a dream?"  He asks, voice thick and rough.

I shake my head, "Nope.  Not a dream.  I'm here."

He tries to sit up in bed so he's not lying down. He grimaces in pain, but completes his task after several agonizing moments. Turning around, I pull the uncomfortable hospital chair forward so I can sit right beside him.

"Are you okay?" I ask, first and foremost.

"Well..." he takes a moment to think about.  "My car is totaled, I won't be able to play any instrument for at least a month, I won't be able to look at a screen for several days.  But I'm okay. No permanent damage," he grins.  "And they told me that the other driver is going to be okay too."  The answer seems too straightforward so I give him my best 'you better be telling the truth look.'  "I promise, I'm okay, Lee. You're here and I'm alive. Especially better because you're here."  His hand in mine becomes tighter, intentional. 

"What happened?"  I ask, lowering my voice.  

He shakes his head, looking down.  

"It was stupid.  I was stupid.  The other guy was stupid.  One stupid mess.  He was coming from a bar, don't know how much he'd had.  But, I had drunk a little bit before coming to your dorm.  It was a stupid fucking mistake.  Two idiots decided that they were allowed to be stupid and I'm really fucking glad that no one got hurt."

"You got hurt," I say looking into his eyes. 

"You know what I mean though, Lee."

I nod my head, tracing circles in Calum's wrist.  

"Lee, are you okay?  You seem kind of quiet."  He says, tilting my head up. 

"Yeah, fine.  I'm just glad you're okay." I respond but now it's his turn to give me the 'you better not be lying' look.  

"Calum...I...I want to talk to you about something. But, not here, in a hospital. Wrong place, wrong time."  I say, honestly. 

"I know that this sucks. Hospital and all, I know, but whatever it is, you can tell me.  

"You're going to hate me," I kiss his hand.  

"I could never hate you," he kisses my hand.  

"Yes you will. I think I'll wait until you're  not doped up on pain killers and covered in casts and bandages."  

He shakes his head looking more serious now, "Tell me. Plus, if I am going to hate you, which isn't possible, wouldn't it be better for me to be doped up on pain killers?"