American Love Affair (5 Seconds of Summer fan fiction)

Chapter 52

Chapter 52 

"Calum, you're...Stop."  I say, squirming in his lap.

I press my hand firmly against his chest and try to get loose, but he's holding me too tightly.  He nuzzles his face into my neck, leaving a trail of rough kisses, and I can't help but bite my lip.  I pound on his chest several more times, closing my eyes.  I want him to let me go.  

"Calum, you need to go now!"  I demand, more firmly now.

"I thought you said we were good.  I thought you wanted to be together."  He breathes thickly, heavy air tingling against my skin.  

"Calum, we are good, but you're...not with it.  I am drowning in work.  And...I don't want to see you like this.  You need to get cleaned up.  Plus if my RA comes in, she's going to think I have..."      

Calum grinds into me lightly, groping my chest, running his hands over my stomach, wandering over my body.  My breath catches in my throat.  I feel himself hardening against me. 

"Lee.  I love you.  Don't you want to?"  

"Not right now.  Not like this."  I spit sharply, grabbing at him.  "Now let me go right now!"  

He moves his hands from around my waist and runs them down my arms.  I scramble to stand up and glare at him.  My heart is thumping in my chest.    

"Get up right now."  I say, hands on my hips, furious and confused. 

"Fine then.  I'm leaving."  Calum pulls some keys out of his pocket. 

"Fine."  I throw my hands up into the air, emphatically.     

"Fine."  He tosses his keys up into the air, misses, and bends down to pick them up. 

"Calum, wait.  You're not...right right now."  

He swings the door of my room open and I grab for his hand.  He pulls back aggressively.   

"Get the fuck off me."  His eyes are raging and his tone is so even, it sounds like he means it.  

He pushes me against the wall and looks down at me.  Eyebrows creased together.  Breath reeking.  He is firmly pinning my arms by my side.  His face is millimeters from mine, but I don't want to look at him.  I bite my lip, gluing my eyes to the floor.  

"Either let me go.  Or ask me to stay."  He whispers harshly in my ear.

His hot breath warms my ear, sending a shiver through my body.  

"Calum...I..." 

"Fine."  He shoves off of me and heads outside. 

I follow him, not wanting to end the night like this.  He gets behind the wheel, I hear the doors lock shut.  

"Calum, stop."  I bang on the window, not hard enough to break it, but hard enough to get my point across.  

He honks the horn and motors off, engine revving.  Exhaling, I put my hand on my head.  My heart is beating fast in my chest.  Too fast.  I try to slow down my breathing and stumble back inside, falling onto my bed.  I suck in a sharp breath. 

It's fine.  It's fine.  It's fine.  I tell myself.  Trying to believe it.  I carry my laptop to my bed and start my philosophy outline.  I need to keep my mind focused, but it's drifting.  I keep working until the clock hits one.         

I grab my phone and punch in Luke's number.

"Luke...Luke." I say, once he picks up.

"Yeah, Lee. What's up? How are your studies coming?"

"Luke...is Calum there?"  

"No why?  Is everything okay?" 

"Yes.  Maybe?  He came back to my dorm, but he was acting weird.  I just don't know if we're okay.  You know?"  

"What do you mean?"  Luke asks. 

"I don't know.  He was being aggressive and..."

"Lee, did he hurt you?"  Luke cuts me off quickly. 

"No, God not.  But...I just don't know if we're worth it.  You know?" 

"Mmhmm.  Lee.  It's kind of late though.  We have to get on the road in the morning."  

"Oh.  Luke I'm sorry.  I always forget not everyone else is running on college hours." 

"It's fine.  I want to talk. I really want to talk, but I'm literally about to pass out. I just haven't been sleeping a lot recently with all the traveling and interviews.  Can we talk in the morning?"   

"Yeah.  Sure.  Sleep tight."  I bite my lip and hang up.

My eyelids feel like sandbags and I haven't typed a decent sentence in the past twenty minutes.  I decide to take a shower to liven myself up.  Another shower is running, typical one am college antics, so I refrain from singing or talking to myself as I usually do.  I let the water run over me and watch it disappear into the drain.  I don't want to leave.  My fingers get prune-y, but the steam radiating off of my body makes me stay.  The other shower turns off and when the door closes I know I am alone.  I breathe in the steam, exhale, then force the shower off.  

Drying off, I wrap the towel around myself, not sure who will be outside.  The hallway is colder than the bathroom, but thankfully my room is warm.  I pull my hair into a bun on the top of my head.  My head feels less foggy, but my body still wants to drop onto the bed.  I slip into my underwear and gray sweatpants shorts, then pull the white tee shirt over my head.  Taking a seat on the bed, I slip into my gray wool socks.

I turn over my phone and turn it off of airplane mode: a missed call from Calum.  I pat my phone against my thigh, deciding whether the missed call from an hour ago is worth calling back.  I swipe to redial the number.  He picks up after four rings.  

'"Hey, Calum."  I say, shifting my weight onto my right foot.  

The line stays silent for a little while.

"Hello...is this Lee?"  Someone on the other line asks.

"Yes.  Who is this?"  I take a seat on the bed.  

"Hi, Lee.  This is Santa Clara County Stanford Hospital.  We're calling about..." the woman on the line pauses, probably to read the name off a piece of paper.  "Calum Hood.  He was admitted several hours ago and you are one of his most recent contacts."  

"Is he okay?"  I ask, wiping my hands on my thighs.  

"He's going to be just fine.  It's just our policy to contact the most recent contacts...Miss...are you still there?"             

I end the call and dial a taxi.  I grab my sweatshirt from off of my chair, pulling it on, and lace up my Converse.  Texting my RA, I try not to forget anything important: phone, laptop, chargers, chapstick.      

"Luke..." I say, opening the door to the taxi, whispering the address to the cabbie. 

"Lee, 3 am, does not count as the morning.  Seriously."  

"Luke, Calum's in the hospital."  I breathe.  

Thank you all so much for reading!  I know my updates are infrequent.  I hope you are all liking it.  Please, please, please comment, vote, follow, etc.  Good luck with school! xoxo