As we entered the ball, we were welcomed by what seemed the royalty of the town. Celebrities, politicians, film stars-you name it. I felt rather inferior in such grand society. But Alex proudly carried me around, never letting me feel alone for a moment, introducing me to everyone, not as Stacy’s sister, but as “Miss Katherine Hayden.” I liked that. He placed his arm around my waist all the time, like we were a couple. I found it a bit uncomfortable, but I could see Jake burning up in jealousy so I didn’t mind it.
The masquerade dance began. We were randomly paired with different partners after each song. I danced with almost each guy in the ball room, but no one matched me perfectly. I was once paired with Jake too. I could make him out in a crowd. I was pretty sure he recognized me too. He remained pretty distant, with an air of repulsion around him, dancing reluctantly.
“What’s the matter?” I asked him. “Aren’t we gonna talk, like forever?”
“It’s you who spoiled it all.” He hissed under his breath.
“Jake, Jake, listen to me….” I said, brushing my hands through his hair of silk, looking straight into his deep eyes. “We will work this out, okay? We’ll talk to Stacy and clear it all out.”
As I was talking to him, Stacy bumped into me, spilling red wine over my dress. I fell on the floor, breaking my high heel. “Oops, My bad.” Jake came forward to pick me up. Stacy interrupted, “Why don’t you clean it up in the washroom? Alex would help you.” She pulled Alex over and forced him on me. With Alex’s support, I made it to the washroom, limping.
“Let me help you out with that.” Alex offered.
“No, it’s really okay. I can manage.”
It was then that I realized Alex was pretty drunk. He seemed to not care about what I said and soon his hands were all over my body. “What are you doing Alex?” I squealed, seriously scared now. “You know how much I love you, don’t you? And you love me too. Don’t lie. I know you do. Stacy told me all.” Ok, so that was ‘the evil’ plan- inviting me to the ball, forcing me with Alex- everything appeared crystal clear now. “Alex, get off me now.” I tried to push him away but I was way too weak. He didn’t bother. He took it rather as my foreplay. It seemed to excite him more and he began kissing me passionately.
“Cough-cough! Lovers making out huh? Awkward. Sorry, we didn’t know. Jakey baby, let’s give them some privacy.” There stood Stacy with Jake. He looked pretty hurt and disgusted. Stacy winked at me. She held his hand and dragged him out. Finally Alex retreated. I ran away from the place barefoot, with the heels in my hands, my eyeliner running down. I didn’t have the guts to go home due to the probable chance of meeting Jake. I felt like a slut. I kept running, till my feet were sore, finally into the forest where Jake took me the day before. I sat down there, on the rocks again, crying my heart out. It was a dark night. No moon. A cloudy stormy night. What was happening? Why was my life such a big mess? I had hurt both Alex and Jake. I don’t deserve any love. I deserved to die.
Suddenly, I heard a crackle of stones. I looked up. It was Jake. He was pretty drunk. “Hey, I’m not stalking you or anything.” He said. “I came here for peace, but apparently I don’t think I’d find it here.” He said, leaving.
“No, wait. I’m leaving. You can have the place.” I got up to leave. He held me by the hand to stop me.
“Wait. You have to clear it out. Why did you do this to me? Look at my condition now.”
“I’m sorry.” It was all I could manage to say through the tears.
“I know. You are one of those girls who like to play with rich guys feelings. You are playing my brother now, aren’t you?”
I couldn’t hear anymore. I left the place. I went to Stacy’s apartment. The key was under the mat. Perhaps, she was still at the dance, socializing or maybe looking for more rich guys to trap. I changed my dress into an ordinary hoodie and denims, stuffing my gown in the bin. I didn’t deserve the dress. Then I took my bag out, shoved down all my clothes and stuff. Then quickly wrote a goodbye letter for Jake and an apology letter for Alex for misleading him. It went like this:
‘Hey Jake, don’t tear it off. Hear me out. This is probably the last letter you’d ever hear from me, I know you hate me and don’t even want to see my face. But I didn’t do it purposely. I don’t think I can explain this to you. So please, please just forgive me. I’m leaving you all. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m definitely going far away. I’m leaving it to destiny now. Hope you and Stacy have a great life. I will always love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Tell Alex sorry if I ever misled him. I had no intention.
Yours,
Kate.’
I knew I was being a coward, running away from everything, blocking my world from pain. But did I really have any other option? Stacy would’ve screwed me up more if I stayed, and Jake and Alex would’ve hated me forever. All my life I had been looking for love, waiting for someone to fall for me. Now that I have two extraordinary guys whom I don’t deserve in my life, I messed it all up. Great.
I slipped the letter in Jake's jacket, hired a cab, and handed it over to the watchman at Parker residence. I wasn't worthy of the jacket. I told him to give it to Jake ,crossing my fingers that it went in the right hands and he read the letter. I couldn’t go back to mom, coz I wouldn’t be able to witness Stacy and Jake together anymore. Maybe they’d even marry someday, now that Jake hates me. And I couldn’t face Alex with all the embarrassment and guilt between us. So, I went to the railway station. I ran to the ticket counter.
“Please, I need a ticket.” I managed to mumble.
“Where to, madam?” The attendant asked me.
“I don’t know.”
“Are you alright madam?” He asked.
“Just give me a ticket to any freaking place on the earth, just far away from here.”
“Okay, okay. I will.”
“Your name, madam?”
“Ka….Kimberly Parker.”
A new name. I didn’t want Jake or anyone to be able to trace me. Ever. I adopted Parker as my surname, as I felt I carried a part of him with me this way.
He handed me a ticket. It was to Texas. I’d never been there. But frankly, as long as it got me away from here, I didn’t care.
With the leftover money in my purse, I bought some magazines about Texas, a hot mug of coffee and lifelessly boarded the train. I felt perfectly numb. The passengers gave me weird looks, owing to my disheveled condition. But frankly didn’t care anymore. I closed my eyes, letting all the beautiful memories I shared with Jake, flash before my eyes for the last time.
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