When I opened my eyes, I found myself in bed. My wrist was bandaged but it still hurt like hell. “Ouch…”I turned my head to see Chris was asleep beside me, curled up on the edge of the bed. My voice startled him. He immediately opened his eyes. “I’m sorry; I didn’t realize when I fell asleep. Are you alright? Should I get you something?”
“Aren’t you going to call me crazy? I feel so stupid right now…….”
“Hush.” He interrupted. “I need you to calm down. I’m here. Tell me when you’re ready.”
I narrated bits and pieces of what had happened. “Do you want him back?” He looked into my eyes.
“No…I will always love him, but I don’t want him back. I just want to end this chapter. Put it behind me. But no matter how much I try to move forward, things pull me back behind.”
“I think I can help you with that. I want every memory, every picture, every letter- anything related to that guy.”
I pointed to the little cupboard beside my bed. It had everything-the jacket, the ring, some photographs his final letter and my dreaded black box. “Wow quite a collection.” He collected everything, put it in a box and helped me up. “You are going to burn this, every last shred of it. If you want to put this behind you, you need to do this.”
“I can’t.” I said.
I spent the next two days lying like a corpse in my bed. The third day, I realized this was getting nowhere. I needed to move on.
“Okay, everything except the ring. It belonged to his grandmother; at least that’s what he told me. I can’t disrespect that. I’ll mail it back tomorrow morning.”
As the fire burned down the last of my letters, I began to feel like a free spirit again. All those emotions I had kept bottle up were finally freed.
I decided to write one last message to Alex.
“Hi Alex and Elizabeth,
Thank you for that video. That was what I really needed to actually move on. By the way, your ring was not burnt down. You should check your mail. I wish nothing but the best for you two. I loved you more than anything, but now I’ve decided to love myself. Don’t try to contact me ever again.”
Two days later Chris finally knocked at my door again. “Hey you want to catch a bite? I hear there’s a pretty new restaurant just down the street.”
“I already ate.” I replied.
“Well, how about Starbucks then?” He looked straight into my eyes with a smile so tempting, it was impossible to resist the offer.
“Okay, I’ll get my coat.”
I went inside and picked up my red coat I had bought a couple of years back. It had been a while since I had worn any bright colors. This coat deserved some fresh air.
