“A contract?” I couldn’t begin to contain my bemusement and fury.
“A proposal. It basically states that we will have a casual, open relationship. But after the end of the term, which is a month, we will end all relations, all forms of contact and communication, mutually on peaceful grounds.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means this relationship is not to be taken seriously. I want a casual relationship, without any strings. You can see other people while you’re with me. You can’t question me about my decisions. You shouldn’t have any expectations from me.”
“I can’t refer to you as my boyfriend?”
“Not in front of anyone else.”
“And why do you think I’d be interested in this?” I was almost in disbelief.
“If you’re going to keep messing with my head 24X7, it’s got to be on my terms.” I suddenly flushed. I didn’t know I had this impact on him, not now.
“This is way too much. I need some time to think.” I got up and began to leave. He looked me straight in the eyes and enchanted me with his oh-so-magnetic-stare begging me to stay. My brain knew better though. If I spent another minute here, I would end up in his bed. Though tempting as it may sound, it wasn’t on the terms I wanted.
“If you stay, I’m all yours.” He said persuasively. I pursed my lips.
“For a month.” I corrected.
“Can’t you be satisfied?” He said, exasperated.
For a moment, I began weighing my options. One month crazily in love with this man or go home to my cold bed and plunge into forever loneliness. One month is a pretty small amount of time. Maybe I could teach myself to live with his memories. But what if I can’t? The damage will be far too deep to be repaired. Could I repair myself again after all those wounds? Should I take a leap of faith? This will be like committing suicide. What if I want more? I’ll always want more, longer with this perfect, gorgeous man. But he’d move on after one month with some new girl. The thought is so distressing, what will I do when that happens? But something is better than nothing. I needed to be alone to think this through. Under his enigmatic charm and aura, I’d surely give in. He’s a temptation I cannot resist. What has happened to him? Why can’t he take relationships like normal people? Why does he want an expiry date?
He walked over to stand behind me and leaned over and began kissing my shoulder, working his way up to my neck. “Please……”
Damn, I could feel my control melting away. I couldn’t give in. “You’re not playing fair.” I looked at him accusingly. A conceited smile flashed on his face.
I stood up immediately. “I’ll think over it. Good night.” I got off the cruise, with Alex following me.
“Stay.” He requested me one last time, leaning against the car door.
“Good night Alex.” I muttered as the car door closed.
A few, helpless tears rolled down my cheek as the car raced in the darkness. What do I do? Every time I try to move on, he pulls me back and then leaves me hanging. When did he become so messed up? I missed the old playful, cheerful, carefree Alex. Should I refuse him? Could I live with the regret that I turned down an only chance of being with the man I love?
I got home but I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t even want to read through the proposal. It was useless. Either I would accept him with all his terms or I would reject it. There was no mid way here.
I didn’t go to work on Monday. I didn’t feel like going anywhere. I just wanted to lock myself from everyone. On Tuesday, I decided to call Meg and take her advice. She listened to it patiently and screamed excitedly.
“Honey, it’s a dream relationship. I would kill for that. It’s like shopping with someone else’s credit card. You get the intimacy of a relationship but you don’t have to pay for it with loyalty. You can have as many partners as you like.”
I rolled my eyes. Meg made it sound so bright and optimistic. “It just hurts me that he wants to have other options.”
“Maybe he just needs some time to settle down. Some people have problems with commitment initially. Give him some time. Maybe this one month thing is a pretense. He's just too scared to get in a full-time relationship.”
I sighed. I still wasn’t sure of what I was getting myself into.
That night I finally got some sleep although it was erratic. I felt colder and colder. I was wearing a cream night dress that ended at my knees. Suddenly, I woke up to see Alex sitting on a chair beside my bed. He was sitting there quietly, in his jeans, staring at me intently. I rubbed my eyes. Was I still dreaming? When I opened my eyes again, he was still there.
“What are you doing here?” I got up nervously and lit up my night lamp.
“I hadn’t seen you since that night. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“So what? You break into people’s apartments?” I rolled my eyes at him incredulously.
“Only the ones who don’t let me in.” A twisted grin spread across his face.
“Where do you even get the keys?”
“I’m a man of resources, Katy.” He looked smug.
“Have you thought about the proposal?” He looked more serious now.
I blinked nervously. I don’t know.
“Well, if you’re here, I would like you to keep me warm. Maybe that’ll add to your appeal when I consider the proposal.”
He arched his eyebrow and then got in the bed beside me, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my head. I breathed in his divine scent. I felt safe, secure and I could finally get a sound sleep.
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