Tears L•H

5

Addilyn's POV
I woke up thinking of Luke, last night was amazing. How his blue eyes sparkled and how he towered me. How my feet started hurting and he carried me into my apartment. I think I love him... Or do I? Is it to soon to think this?

I put in my earbuds and started drinking my coffee. I only got 2 hours of sleep so I need my caffeine, fuck you insomnia, fuck you depression.

But here I sit, on my couch watching the news, drinking my damn coffee, and thinking of the unforgettable night. Blue eyes. Lip ring. Luke. He was unlike anyone else. Is this what love feels like? Like I'm on drugs? Like I'm getting drunk on the raw emotion? Getting high of the pure connection? Am I insane? Is this even reality? What even is reality anyways?

Fuck you depression. Fuck you Luke. Fuck you, I don't have friends, I don't have love, I live in a pointless daydream where reality doesn't hit me until after. After I've set dreams I can't let go of. After I make up my mind. What even is emotion? Am I the only one dealing with this shit? Everyone else are robots. Running on media and Kylie Jenner's lips. Ways to make yourself prettier. Ways to be confident.

Well what if I'm not confident? I'll never be pretty, I'll never be what the media wants me to be. I didn't go to fucking college, I'm stupid, a waste of body. Who would ever love an insane, suicidal girl? Suicide's he only answer to this fucking mess I'm in.

Then, the phone rang, the fucking phone rang. I was reaching for the fucking knife but the fucking call stopped me. Luke Hemmings, why? How could you're timing be so fucking perfect. I could've been dead but you called. You called. And I answered.

"Luke?" I said into the phone, knife in hand, hovering it over the damn table.

"Addilyn! Last night was amazing, best night ever, you're an amazing person to hang out with!" He said. Amazing? Best night? Amazing? Why do you do this to me Luke?

"Oh my God! I'm glad you feel the same way! I've actually never had a better night! I legit snorted when you dropped the ice cream in the sand!"

"Well you should've heard me when you tripped and face planted onto the cement!"

And we laughed. Like friends. As if there's a connection. As if we have no care about anyone else.

"So I was thinking, would you like to come with us to breakfast?" He asked, probably meaning Mikey, Cal, and Ash.

"Oh my God sure! When should I meet you?"

"We'll pick you up in like 20 minutes, is that ok?"

"Yup that's fine!"

"Okay, I'll see you then, bye Addilyn!"

"Bye Luke!"

And the call ended, he's all I can think about. He has me wrapped around his finger. (A/N I had to!)

I put on my black ripped skinny jeans and black emo converse. (A/N I have some irl and that's what I call them)
I slipped on my Nirvana shirt and was practically ready.

I put on some mascara and nude pink lipstick, I don't do anything else, I keep it natural.

I put my medium length brown/blonde hair in a high pony and brushed it out, leaving the natural waves to cascade to my shoulders.

I turned on my music and started dancing (Future Hearts album by All Time Low)

Today will be a good day.

A/N next chapter will be the breakfast, this was kind of a filler but also a small peek into her life (I guess)
Also, I don't have a set schedule for writing, it will come when I can write - Liv