Young, Gay, Love

Chapter 40: Shower Sex?

The next couple weeks were awful. I mostly stayed home and wrote music, because going out was too much for me. I didn't like hanging with my best friends and not having a voice, or be vocal about my opinions.

A lot of the music I wrote during that time period was about trying to speak out, create a passion for a change, almost anthem like.

But inside I felt none of these things. I wanted too. I wanted to have voice and inspire people, none of which I was doing in high school, and I didn't know where to go. I honestly didn't know where to begin.

I was onto my third week of not talking. It was awful. But I didn't want to lose my voice.

Looking out the window I decided to walk. Think. There is a lot things I need to sort out.

I pulled on my Abercrombie Varisty Cardign and headed out the door. The semi – warm afternoon air filled my lungs and I began to walk down the long driveway. The trees were beginning to change color, just like my heart. I felt like a piece of me was dying. I was not looking forward college this Fall and I was beginning to question if anyone was ever gonna date me. Am I ugly? No, that can't be. Maybe Asians are just not a trending topic. But then why was k-pop so popular? No one understands a word they are saying. Maybe I'm not likeable. That has be the reason why. Or maybe it's the way I dress?

All these thoughts flooded my mind, but I snapped myself out of it. It's not me, it's them. Great I got Prince Syndrome. (Prince Syndrome: a way of thinking that causes you to blame everyone, but yourself for things that go wrong. It may also cause you to become arrogant, cocky, and an asshole.)

I was at the end of the driveway and I look back. Do I want to continue walking, or head down the road?

The trees were still green down the road, so I pull my iPhone out of my pocket and put my headphones in.

"I'm not going back." I say to myself and I begin to run.

................................................

I was gasping for air as I walked back into the ranch style house, also known as home but lately it didn't feel like home.

The bathroom was the first thing I headed for. I turn the water on for a warm shower. The time on my phone shown I only ran for thirty minutes.

Progress.

I stripped out of my clothes and hopped in underneath the steamy water. It felt so good.

Noises started to sound in the hallway, like something knock around outside the bathroom door.

What the heck? I thought to myself. Eh, it probably is my mom.

My face was covered in the warm liquid seeping from the shower head when the door opened.

WHAT THE FUCK!

Inside my mind I was spinning. Great I'm going to get stabbed to death like in the terrible movie 'Psycho'. Even now the RRRRRI RRRI RRRRI was sounding in my head.

"Get your lazy ass out of the shower! Hanna and I came by to visit you!" Jackie screamed ripping open the curtain.

"Ooo I like what I see." Hanna winked at me.

My glistening, semi built, naked body was instantly exposed to the cold air and I was so shocked I fell down.

"GREAT. IDEA. Lets kill him while we're at like the movie 'Psycho'." James's voice sounded from the hallway.

"Give the man his peace ladies. I need to have my way with him before he dries off." Mopey's voice was approaching me as he was guiding everyone out.

"Hey baby." He winked at me.

Now I'm getting a boner. This is moment when I wish I was girl.

"Hey." I croaked out. I haven't talked in forever, but I wanted to talk to him.

Crushing so hard, my feels are going nuts.

"Well, I'll wait for you out there." Mopey said and he started heading for the door.

"No." I choked out. "Uhm, you don't have to go." I really wanted him to get naked so I could feel his athletic build against my small dancer build. I just wanted to feel his tight ass in my hands, as his boyish face was macking against mine.

Who am I kidding? I'm just embarrassing myself.

"Well...." Mopey started and he locked eyes with me.

I feel something happening inside me. I could feel my dick starting to get hard.

Oh my God. What's going on?