Young, Gay, Love

Chapter 48: Valentine's Day Pt. II

How?

Where?

What is happening?

Were the first fleeting questions that raced through my mind, but my loud mouth just began to scream...

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE. HOW DID YOU FIND ME?"

He began stuttering phrases such as: "Calm down babe" and "Stop making a scene". But I couldn't stop. And I wouldn't be quiet. This asshole stalked me, tracked me down, and now has the balls to be here, in my face, trying to tell me what to do.

I began violently pounding his chest as he just wrapped his arms around me and walked me over to table. Holding me while I began to convulse and sob.

What is wrong with me?

Who am I?

"Honey, you need to breathe. Just breathe." Merkley quietly said as he just rubbed his hands down my back. By then people were staring and whispering. I didn't care. They could talk all they want, that didn't change the fact that a rapist was comforting me while I was snotting all over his expensive cashmere sweater.

"What-What are you d-doing here." I choked out. I could barely think. No less talk.

"I came here to talk." He said while kissing my hair.

"No. Just no! You-You raped me. You-You-You got me kicked out of college. What else do you want from me!?" My voice as getting louder with each phrase and I could feel my eyes bulging out of my head.

"Honey, you need-"

"NO! You don't get to tell me what I NEED! I should be calling the fucking cops! Not taking orders from YOU." I stood up defiantly, but knocked my knees against the booth. I cringed in pain and fell back to his chest returning to my pathetic crying.

I am such a baby. I can't even stand up for myself. Literally AND metaphorically.

"It's okay, you don't mean any of this. Just cry it out." He cooed.

My head was spinning and I was so confused. I was so weak that I just stayed like that. Letting him hold me and heal me.

For the next fifteen minutes I just cried and sniffled like a little boy that just fell flat on pavement and then was dragged down the driveway with no clothes on. I felt bloody and wounded. There was no way to describe the magnitude of the moral battle going on inside, but I couldn't fight anymore. My white flag was flying high and I just wanted it to be over.

After a while I began to stop the crying and did more of the silent tearing. The tears were streaming down my face and I just let go.

"Do you love me?" I quietly said.

"Of course I do! You know that!" He exclaimed.

"If you loved me then why did you just leave me?" I asked blatantly.

"I had too! You know I did. There was no way I was ready for a relationship at that time, but now I'm here ready to be your man." He smiled his million dollar smile and picked my head up.

"Are you hungry love? I can take you to the mall, get you something nice, and then we can go out to wherever you want to go."

He was so convincing, but it bothered me he didn't apologize for anything. It was like he was just trying to ignore what happened before.

"Merkley. We need to talk-"

"No. We don't." His smile went out like a light and his face became dark. It kind of scared me a little.

"But-"

"Drop it." He let go of my face and gripped my shoulders tightly.

I just stared into his dark chocolate eyes and saw anger. I touched his face and kissed him.