Young, Gay, Love

- Spring -

Another year has come and another has gone. Time has become this fluid entity that I feel as if I am swimming through. Each breaststroke getting a little easier until a storm arrives and moves on. At times, I still feel like I am drowning but each time I survive I discover a new strength and develop another skill.

We are now 5 months into the new year and the flowers are beginning to bloom. Aside from suffering through my seasonal allergies, spring happens to be my favorite season. As the earth awakens, I feel like I am awaking with her. Coming out of a deep slumber and rejoining the circle of life.

Rebirth by definition is "the process of being reincarnated or born again" and in a sense that is the way I imagine the season of spring. To be born again, a new chance to try to be better than you were the year before.

With a foreign sense of optimism, I crawl out of the comfort of my bed to see who is still home.

"why am i not surprised"

Another day with the house to myself but today there were no notes or letters or texts to let me know when my parents will be returning.

I look outside to see mist floating over the hills and valleys over the 25 acres of property. Some days, I imagine they are the spirits and ghosts that haven't passed on to make myself feel a little less alone, but then as I delve deeper into the thought I creep myself out.

Looking briefly through my phone, I try to find someone to call or text and like the multiple times before I find no one. I am not surprised by this fact since I haven't reached out to anyone in years. I removed myself from all social media and began living in my own world. Writing and producing in the studio continuously working on my music, I have no social life because my music has consumed me to the point where human contact became this inconvenient waste of time. I hate to think of it like that because I know that I need to talk to someone, anyone, but I don't want it to be out of fear of dying alone...

"Hello?"

My phone was ringing through my thoughts until I realized my parents were trying to call me.

"Hey! Just calling to check up on you."

"I'm good Mom, where are you guys? Are you planning on coming home anytime soon?"

"No, we will probably be home within a couple weeks. Why? Are you planning on throwing a party?"

"Why would I throw a party? I don't have any friends."

"Well, maybe you don't have friends because you don't get out of the house."

"wow, thanks for another reminder"

I mentally said this to myself and mentally face palmed myself because my parents have no sense of sensitivity some times.

Actually, most of the time.

"Well, I'm gonna go now. I'm trying to wrap up a few projects and I will be going down to take care of the animals." I said this attempting to end the conversation even though secretly I appreciated them calling me.

"Okay son, well we just wanted to let you know that someone will be stopping by to drop some stuff off."

"What kind of stuff and who's coming by? Is it someone that I know?"

"Well, it's one of our friend's son. But you'll see hehe"

"Okay, well, thanks for the heads up."

My mom's laugh left me feeling unnerved. And someone's son? Who's son? I had so many questions.

"We love you and we will let you know when we will be coming back home. Have a wonderful day haha!"

*click*