Young, Gay, Love

- Winter -

I could feel the twinkling of the lights as I was sitting under the night sky with a hot mug of cocoa in my hands.

"Winter..." I silently breathed out as I watched my breath take flight into the dark air in front of me.

The cold, crisp, feeling embracing me felt like a hug from the past, but looking out into the blanket of darkness... I felt the memories come back to me like an old friend.

What I do not like about winter is average among my peers. I do not like driving on the icy roads, I do not like the cold feeling when I get out of bed and to leave a hot shower is like ice pricking my feet as I walk around my empty house. The feeling of winter is like a wake-up call and a reminder that summer is not around the corner, but in a far off distant future. As much as I hate the cold, that's what I also love about winter. Wrapping myself in a blanket while I read a good novel. Watching the snow fall and purify the ugliness of the world around me. Being around an icy paradise reminds me of innocence that isn't lost, but it's like a wish that is conceivable. A dream that my innocence can be returned in a deep slumber.

As I was sitting on my brown leather couch watching the snow sprinkle the ground, I began to reminisce about my friends. I may have forgotten their names but their faces are crystal clear. Every day I think of my wild past, how I still refer to them as the good ole days despite the flickering of heated arguments and burned bridges. Those were the moments that defined me now as an adult. Those are also the moments that inspired and wrote my three albums. The music that I breathe was brought to life by my youth and how I may feel like I am sleep walking through the coldest midnight; I am very much alive and awake. This fantasy that plays in my head, these memories that sing and scream, they are my reality, and I am not done writing the stories of my past. I must continue to persevere and bring them into life so that I may show every one on this goddamn planet what not to do.

You must learn to forgive and you must learn to grow from your pain. As bleak as winter is, it is the season where we must work from the inside out. Clear our minds, let our inner spirit heal and grow inside until it becomes a bursting flame in the heat of summer. We often take care of the physical aspects of our being but forget our inner selves, mentally and emotionally. We are complex creatures with simple needs, but yet its difficult to still achieve our desires. And I believe it's because we rush things. Take a moment to walk in this winter wonderland and experience the simplicity of this black and white world.

Until next time, sleep well my friend. Spring is just around the corner...