Young, Gay, Love

Chapter 42: Whataya Want From Me

What am I supposed to tell my parents?

If they call... what do I say?

It's been a week since I made the call. Well, and got tested.

Since you probably weren't there I'll just tell you what's been searing through my mind.

The car came to a complete halt as I approached the hospital. The looming blue letters viciously spelled out on the building "Health Department".

I opened the door of the car and made my way to the door. My hand stopped on the handle and as I took a deep breath.

What am I doing? I said to myself.

My closed eyes opened as I realized someone was behind me waiting to go in. I held the door open for them and quietly smiled.

They probably think I am a lunatic.

A desk met me after the door, without a word the lady just pointed to the next room as if she knew where I was supposed to go.

I nodded and made my way to the next room, where I was met by a bunch of people sitting.

This must be the waiting area...

"Hi my name is Samuel. I have a 1:15 appt."

"Yes, I remember you." The lady with a mullet said. "Just sit down and we will be with you in just a moment."

I found a place to sit away from everyone else and I put my headphones in. I pulled out my iPhone and started playing some music to calm my nerves.

Whataya Want From Me started playing. Gosh, Adam Lambert is so hot. What I would do to just spend a day with him to soak up his musical genius...

"Just don't give up

I'm workin' it out

Please don't give in

I won't let you down

It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me..."

"Samuel?"

I snapped out of the music. And looked up.

"Samuel? Is there a Samuel here?" The nurse said looking around.

"Yes, that's me." I said standing up taking out my headphones.

"Please follow me." She said holding the door open.

"My name is Cindy and I will be helping you today. Is there anything you want to bring to my attention before we get started?" She said this with a voice like honey. It was hard not to trust her.

"Well, I don't know. I-I-..."

"It's okay sweetie. There isn't anything I haven't heard before. Just go with it." She said calmly as we made our way into the room.

She pulled out a chair for me to sit down.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"I had sex last week for the first time. And I don't know if I could have gotten an STD because it was unprotected." A tear was starting to form behind my closed eyes.

Why do I feel so ashamed?

She put a hand on my knee and wiped the tears that were starting to stream down my pale face.

"It's gonna be okay. I'll take care of you. Just please look at me."

I opened my watery eyes and looked at her kind face. She was almost glowing like an angel.

My head began nodding in agreement as she started talking me through some of the testing that I would have to go through. She would be taking a urine sample, anal swab, throat swab, finger prick, and blood sample.

....................

About an hour later I found myself walking out of the Health Department with flavored condoms, lubed condoms, lube, and a lollipop. In a week they will be calling me with the results.

That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Well, aside from almost passing out when she was sucking the blood out of me.

I hate needles.

I got in my car and plugged my music in.

I can't believe I started crying. What a baby.

But honestly... it's because I lied to her. Last week wasn't the first time I had sex.

The first time I had sex I was raped.

I began to shudder and just pulled out of the parking lot.

"It's plain to see

That baby you're beautiful

And there's nothing wrong with you

It's me, I'm a freak".

I'm the freak.

Yeah. Me.

I'm. A. Freak.