Life is the Long Game

Chapter 33

Riley's POV:

I watch Maya walk out the room and out of sight before hugging Amelie tightly and breaking down in tears.
"I'm sorry Amelie. You were gonna have a little brother or sister, and now you're not, it's all my fault. I should've known that I was pregnant, I could've done more to save myself if I did. Oh my babygirl." I look at Amelie who is oblivious, of course, to today's events, she is smiling brightly at me. I continue to cry until I feel someone holding me tightly. It's my mom.
"I was gonna have a baby and it died. Why'd it have to die?" I sob into my mother's chest.
"I don't know sweetie. But let me put Amelie in her stroller so we can talk?" I nod slowly, before kissing Amelie's forehead and passing her to mom. Then she comes back and sits on my bed.
"Why'd I loose it mom? When I didn't even know I had it? Is it my fault?"
"Riley. Listen to me, sweetie, none of this is your fault. Please understand me that there is nothing you could've done, you were only 3 weeks, you probably weren't even showing symptoms yet." She hugs me tightly.
"Please don't leave mommy."
"I'm not going anywhere, don't you worry."
"I just feel so empty and numb."
"I know, baby, I know."
"How? You don't know what it feels like to loose a child." I snap thoughtlessly.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to snap." I say immediately.
"It's okay. But in actual fact, I do know what it's like to loose a child."
"When?"
"About 2 years before I was pregnant with you. We were still in college, and I found out I was pregnant, I didn't tell Cory, the doctor asked me if I wanted an abortion but I refused. I kept the pregnancy a secret until one day, I was walking through Central Park when I helped a little girl who'd gotten lost and hurt herself find her mother. She told me if be a great mom one day and it made me look at my baby in a completely different way and I decided that I was going to tell your father. So, I hurried to school, to find him. He always got let out 20 minutes early so I'd be able to meet him easily. I was walking up the outside stairs to his classroom's building. I slipped on the top step sending me straight down to the bottom into the wet cold ground. Half hour later your father found me, I was going in and out of consciousness. I was 14 weeks. It was a boy. We called him Elliott." My mom is now fiddling with her hands and looking down.
"Mom, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."
"It's okay. Actually, we've started trying for another baby, and we thought we'd finally done it but we've not been successful in conceiving."
"Well, give it time. I'd love another sibling."
"I love you, and I am so proud of you."
"Thank you mom. I love you too. It's just please don't tell anyone about the baby. Just you and Maya can know. Okay?"
"Of course honey."
I take a big yawn, as I'm getting tired, I'm still really weak from the surgery.
"How about I take Amelie and leave you to rest?" My mom suggests.
"Thank you."
"I'll see you in a bit. Now go to sleep." I nod and watch her push Amelie out of the doors before falling asleep.

Lucas's POV:

"Can I see Riley now?" I jump up as soon as Topanga comes in with Amelie.
"She just fell asleep, but I'm sure she'd love for you to be there when she wakes up, Lucas." Mrs Matthews tells me.
"Do you think she'll have a nightmare?" I ask.
"I don't know, I think so though. You have both been through a majorly traumatic experience and Riley is already prone to getting them as it is." She explains.
"I'll go sit with her now. Thank you. Are you okay to watch Amelie?"
"Of course."
"Thank you, I appreciate it. All of you, for the last 3 weeks, you've been great while Riley and I have been away."
"No trouble Lucas." Mr Matthews tells me and I nod before heading to Riley's room.

She looks so fragile and weak. She looks like she is in pain, she's wincing in her sleep. I promised to protect her at all costs but I failed, if I'd made her stay sat down. It's all my fault, I tried to find her before we went down, I heard her screaming my name. I feel so helpless just sat here, but there's nothing I can do. I can't loose her. I haven't even spoken to here since it's happened. I don't know how bad she is.
I notice that she is shaking her head a lot and muttering and tears are beginning to rush down her face. She starts to scream. I jump up and put my hands in hers.
"Riley, it's me Lucas. Open your eyes." I repeat over and over until she does.
"L-Lucas." She sobs and I hug her tightly. "It was the crash all over again." She tells me as I stroke her hair.
"You're okay. I got you, you're okay." I sit on her bed and put my arm round her protectively and she falls back asleep on my shoulder, before I myself fall asleep too. Dreamless.

Hey! Sorry for not updating for a while! This chapters a little longer so I hope you like it. Next chapter: flashback to the crash.

Love ya 😘

Brokenheartedjlster