Life is the Long Game

Chapter 65

Josh's POV:

'She has to be okay, she has to be okay, she has to be okay, she has to be okay, they have to be alright.' Is all that's racing through my mind as I pace up and down the hospital corridor.
"She as in Maya or She as in Olympia?" Shawn asks, everyone offered to come with me but I wanted Shawn, not only was he Maya's father, but legend has it he is the reason I survived as a baby. He copes well with these situations too, I find.
"I was thinking out loud?"
"Yeah."
"Both. At first the She was Maya but actually it's more my daughter. Maya can pull through, in fact she is probably, physically okay, but the little girl, my little girl she is only tiny, probably has a head the size of a golf ball. This is all my fault Shawn."
"No it's not. You can't blame yourself."
"But it is, we got in an argument caused by me and she stormed off and I let her storm off. I should have stopped her. I'm never going to forgive myself for this."
"What was the fight about?"
"When she should stop going to school because of the baby. I want her to stop sooner than later, but she wants to stay in school as long as possible. I should have gone with that. It was so stupid to argue over."
Shawn goes to say something when we hear a load of loud noises and alarms and Maya is suddenly being rushed away.
"Hey! What's happening to my wife?" I yell trying to get to Maya.
"Sir, please can you give us some space? A doctor will come and talk to you as soon as possible." A nurse says calmly.
"Just tell me why my wife is being rushed off and has alarms going off on her gurney! That's my wife and my daughter!" I shout.
"Sir! Am I going to have to call security?"
"Josh." Shawn says and pulls me back to the waiting area.
"What's happening Shawn? Why is this happening?" I begin to cry.
"Maya doesn't deserve any of this." I cry, putting my head into my hands and rushing my fingertips through my hair.
"I know buddy. But everything happens for a reason, so stay strong and don't go out of town no matter what happens." I pats my back.
Then after about three hours a doctor comes to us.
"Maya Matthews?"
"Yes. My wife." I say.
"Mr Matthews. Your wife's heart rate began to drop and as you are aware, a lot of blood had been lost due to fetual distress, in order to stop the bleeding, which worsened, we had to operate. Your daughter still had a heartbeat." He paused, my hopes raised slightly. "And then when we found the bleed, Mrs Matthews heart flatlined. We lost her for 2 minutes but we got her back, unfortunately, to save her, we had to stop the treatment that was being given to the fetus in the womb, and we had to then deliver the baby."
"But she is only 25 weeks!" I interrupt.
"Your daughter is still alive, and though at first we thought she was healthy for a prem, we have found out that her organs are slowly shutting down and will stop working. I'm sorry, but she hasn't got long, barely days, unless we have a miracle."
Tears race down my cheeks.
"A-and Maya?"
"She is in recovery, but it's still touch and go, there might be complications, but only time will tell."
"C-can I see them?"
"Yes, when your wife is awake she can see the child too."
I stand up.
"Can you take me to Maya? I think I should tell her." I say.
"Certainly sir. Just wait one moment and I'll get someone to take you."
He walks off.
I feel so upset, so frustrated yet at the same time numb. I punch the wall, I don't feel any pain.
"Josh. Listen, calm down, Maya is gonna be fine and at least you'll get to meet your baby. Some couples, they don't get to meet their babies and they have to live with it, you get to meet yours and see it. For the circumstances, you're lucky. Come on. Look but you gotta calm down and pull yourself together because everybody knows Maya is gonna need you to be strong, because she isn't gonna be for the first time in her life, she is gonna need someone to hold her up, she is going to need you, Josh."
Just then a nurse comes and gets me.
"You're right. Thank you. Just please don't tell anyone what's happening."
He nods.
I go with the nurse.
"My daughter, will I get to hold her?" I ask the nurse.
"There is the possibility under these circumstances."
"Thank you."
And then I see Maya.
She looks so weak, and she has bruises from where she fell.
I grab her hand and squeeze it tightly.
"Josh?" She says in a teary voice.
"Yeah. I'm right here." I kiss her forehead.
"I'm sorry." She cries.
"For what?"
"Olympia, she's gone, I'm not pregnant anymore, look my bump is mostly gone."
I look over to the nurse and signal for her to take us to the baby ward.
"We are gonna show you something." I say.
We place Maya in a wheelchair and we go to the ICU. We have to put scrubs on.
"What's going on Josh."
I wheel her over to where it says 'Baby Matthews.' "Look." I whisper.
"Oh my god. Josh. This is our baby?"
"Yeah. But listen, she isn't to well and she isn't fully developed and the doctor said that she will." I pause and gulp. "D-d. We only have hours with her."
"Can I hold my daughter?" Maya asks the nurse.
She removes our girl from the incubator and places her wire covered body into Maya's hands.
"Hi Olympia. Aren't you so beautiful?" Maya says.
She is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. I love her so much. She is so precious. I take a couple of pictures of my girls.
"Excuse sir? Do you have a name for your daughter?" The nurse asks me. Maya looks up at us, pausing her cooing over the baby.
"Olympia Matthews." She says proudly.
"Any middle names?" The nurse asks, and Maya and I look at each other, we hadn't thought about middle names.
"How about Grace? It means God's gift, and she really is a gift." I suggest.
"Her name is Olympia Grace Matthews." Maya amends her previous statement and goes back to cooing over Olympia.
"Do you want to meet daddy? Because he really wants to meet you." Maya says to our baby, before passing her gently to me. Oh my gosh, she's so precious, so tiny, I love her more than anything.
"Hi Olympia Grace. I'm your daddy and I love you very much and I'm never going to stop, even if we are in different places." I say, tears rolling down my face.
Maya and I continue to coo over Olympia for a while longer before the nurse tells us she has to go back in her incubator for a bit.
"Okay, but first could you take a picture of the three of us?" I ask the nurse.
"Of course."
"Thank you." I say, passing my phone across, we pose with Olympia for a picture and then watch her be carefully placed back into the incubator.
"If you have any family that would like to see Olympia, that would be allowed, but it's just only 3 can come at a time." The nurse explains.
"Really? Thank you." I say before wheeling Maya back to her room.
"Maya, you feeling okay?" I ask her as she looks very pale.
"I think so."
"Are you in pain? I can get a doctor?" I suggest, worried. She nods yes as she winces in pain.
"I love you." I say before rushing out to find a doctor. I spot the doctor who explained everything to me earlier. "Doctor! My wife, she's in pain." I tell him and we quickly go back to Maya's room.
"Maya, I got the doctor." I say, to her. "Maya?" I repeat. She's unconscious.
"Doctor, why is she unconscious?" I ask. Then I notice something else. "Blood. There's blood coming through her gown and sheets." I add, freaking out now. The doctor hits a red button.
"Sir, please could you leave? Go back to your daughter, she's alone." He says, knowing it'll make me leave. I rush out to Shawn and tell him everything.
"Well, I've just called everyone. Topanga shut the cafe and all the family went up to their place. They are already on their way. And now I think you should do what the doctor said, go to Olympia." Shawn tells me.
"Do you want to meet your granddaughter?" I ask.
"Can I?"
"Yeah. Let's go." I say and we walk too ICU and get into scrubs and go over to her.
"Olympia Grace. What a beautiful name Josh." Shawn compliments.
"Yeah, suits her then."
"She's stunning. I'm gonna talk to her." Shawn says.
"Go ahead, it worked when I was in her place."
"Hi Olympia, I'm Shawn, your Granddad. I've been out of town before. See, I was in a real bad way and I went looking to see what was important in my life. I met a lot of people out of town that were looking for the same thing. Now you're in a real bad way. And I came back here because I want to tell you something. Don't go out of town. Don't go anywhere. Life is right here with these people, with your family. And my family. We got the greatest family there is, Olympia. We want you to be with us so we can watch you grow and see you change and make great memories together, but it's okay, if it hurts too much to keep fighting, we'd understand if you had to go, I love you and your mommy and daddy love you even more." We both have tears falling down our faces.
"Is-is that what you said to me?" I ask, curiously.
"Yeah, pretty much, I added the last part though."
"Thank you Shawn. For everything."
"You're welcome."
"Shawn, do you think you could explain everything to everyone and send anyone who wants to meet Olympia in 2 at a time? Until I know how Maya is, I'm not leaving Olympia. The time is too valuable for her to be left without me or Maya."
"Of course Josh. And I'll let you know if I hear about Maya."
"Thanks." He gives me a guy hug and leaves me alone with Olympia. I coo over her, and as I'm not allowed to hold her for a while, put my finger into the incubator, I'm allowed to do that, and she tries to hold me finger, but even my pinky is too big and she can't grip, but she tries. Soon after, everyone comes in in pairs. They all say similar things, complimenting her name and beauty and say they love her and that she can fight it and she'll be okay blah blah. I know she won't, I want her to be, but she won't. Except Shawn, Mr Feeny is the only one who says something different. He comes in last, and alone.
"Joshua, I won't lie to you. I think we both know this beautiful girl has been given a very limited amount of time which is quickly passing, so I'll say this: a life is a life, no matter how short or long, a life should be measured in the amount they were loved. And Olympia is certainly loved very much, more than a lot of people in a life time, just remember that. She'll never be forgotten. Even though you and Maya don't deserve this tragedy, don't be angry with anyone, especially yourself, she must be needed up there, even though we don't know why." Mr Feeny says.
"Thank you. That helps a lot, actually."
"No problem." He replies and we look at and talk about and to Olympia for a while longer and then she we are given a private room for her. But I still haven't heard anything about Maya, all I know is that doctors are still with her but she is on the same corridor as Olympia now.
Riley comes back to see Olympia again, after a while so I can step out into the corridor for a moment to try and find out more about my wife. I go over to the nurses station.
"Excuse me, my wife, Maya Hart, can you tell me what's happening with her, please?"  I ask as calmly as possible.
"I can page her doctor?"
"Whatever you need to do, I just need to know."
Soon after, Maya's doctor comes over to me.
"Mr Matthews, your wife had some internal bleeding, from where the baby was, which also caused her to loose blood externally. We had to give her a blood transfusion as she lost so much, and she is in ICU now. She's is a coma for now but will wake up soon."
"How soon? Because our daughter is going to die soon and she needs to see her again before she goes."
"Within the next few hours."
"Okay, thank you doctor." I say and go to her room.
"Maya, don't scare me like that, I can't loose you too. You've got too wake up now, you have to see Olympia again before it's too late. You're strong, I know you can do this." I say to her, holding her hand tightly, and kissing it.
"You're really near Olympia's room now, I wonder if they could move her in here. Then I could be with both of you. Maya I love you. Please, I'm falling apart without you, I'm so angry that all of this has happened and I've punched so many walls. I need you now My and someone who needs you even more than me is Olympia, she needs to see that if her mom can be strong than so can she, please wake up now for Olympia." I say as I begin to cry.
"Uncle Josh?" I hear a voice behind me say.
"Hey Riley, who is with Olympia?"
"Shawn, but a nurse heard you say you wanted her in here with Maya so they are bringing her in here."
"Okay thanks. Can you stay with Maya while I go to Olympia?"
"Of course." She looks as sad as I feel. I give her a long hug and she cries softly into my chest.
"Why is this happening Josh? You two don't deserve any of this, and Olympia is so small and she's gonna die and it's not fair."
"I know Riles, I know it's not. But we have to be strong for Maya, okay?"
"Okay. I love you Uncle Josh."
"I love you too Riley."
"Now go see your daughter." She tells me and I do as she says.