The Status : Complicated

Status #18 --- Selp-Control

"You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel; sometimes you have to tell yourself NO so you can say YES to yourself later. Self-control is the best super power you can have."

At first, I didn't know that that ... how will I call this.. that dinner, or... yea, I know! At first I didn't know that that make-up dinner date is our ten-week celebration. I know that it is our ten weeks together but I didn't know that he wants to celebrate it, but I'm glad that it became our way to be called ourselves officially together. Yay! But we still couldn't be seen together at school though, it is not ideally right so we can't be together always.

"My love, can I sleep at your house?" nagmamakaawa niyang tanong bago ako bumaba ng sasakyan niya.

"No. You have your house, that I've never been to, you can sleep there and I will stay here." nakita ko siyang ngumiti ng nakakaloko.

"You gave me an idea. Ibalik mo seatbelt mo doon na lang tayo matulog." hindi ko pa naisusuot ang seatbelt ko at hindi pa siya tapos magsalita ay inii-start na niya ang sasakyan at humarurot na papuntang bahay nila.

"Bakit pinaandar mo na agad magpapaalam pa sana ako." I can't just text them, paano kapag ayaw nila ayaw payagan? 

"It's done. Nagawa ko na yun kasabay ng pagpapaalam ko na pupunta ka'ng students' night, nakadepende na lang talaga sa'yo. Hindi sana matutuloy kaso nabanggit mo kasing hindi ka pa nakakapunta sa bahay ko eh kaya, heto na papupuntahin na kita at matutulog ka pa."

Edi wala na akong nagawa, hindi na ako umangal pa. He's always way ahead of me.

Habang nasa daan kami ay tahimik lamang, nagpapakiramdaman at ako ay nagdadalawang-isip. You know why...

Medyo malayo na sa lugar namin itong daan at talagang tago ang lugar nila.

"This is our compound." banggit niya nang makapasok kami sa isang malaking compound na may malalaking bahay at malalawak na lupa; parang may sarili silang subdivision na may sarili ding guardhouse sa bukana. 

Bigla akong nagdalawang isip sa relasyon namin, ang layo ng agwat ng estado niya sa estado namin. I am merely a simple girl fell in love with this money-rolling and academic-rich guy. Naramdaman ko na hindi ko siya deserve, that he's too much for me as much as I am not enough for him. At the moment, I was lost to where we are now and to what he was saying. It immediately changed my mood.

"My love, may problema ba?"

"None. Pero I don't like you giving me a nickname, you can just call me with my name it'll sound better." I smiled. "Baka masanay ka tapos matawag mo ako sa school ng my love."

"I agree but I can't help myself. I'm really in love with you. Here we are!" lumiko siya at may pinidot sa kaniyang cellphone at biglang bumukas ang napakataas at mukhang mamahalin na gate. I got insecure again.

Nagpark siya katabi ng iba pang sasakyan, mga limang sasakyan at tatlo dito ay bago sa paningin ko. May dalawa din kaming kotse pero itinakbo ni Papa yung isa kaya ang naiwan sa bahay ay isang lumang Avanza lamang at ayaw pang ipahiram ni Mama.

Pumasok na kami sa loob at agad sumindi yung mga ilaw sa parte ng sala nang wala siyang ginagalaw o pinipindot. Ganun din sa kusina.

"Ano'ng gusto mong inumin?" tanong niya na ikinagulat ko sapagkat sobra akong namangha sa buong bahay nila, malawak, maayos, madaming gamit at halatang yayamanin ang mga nakatira pero hindi ito bakas sa pagkatao niya.