The Status : Complicated

Status #30 --- He Let Her Go

"You only need the light when it's burning low; Only miss the sun when it starts to snow; Only hate the road when you're missing home; Only know you love her when you let her go.. And you let her go... You could only realize that you love, really love, someone if they are gone. So to really prove that you love them, let them go and let them be with what they want, what they need, and what they deserve."

MIGGY'S POV

Upon seeing her eyes looking at me, the urge of hugging her is so strong. I smiled at her when I gave the snack. I don't want her to be astounded but it is so unexpected for her that I am now right beside her; and I am lost for words to say. Do I need to explain?

I don't think so. I'm just right here in front of her to say sorry, and bid my final goodbye. I am also here in front of her to give her heart back to her for her to give it to someone better and the one that deserves her more.

I am not here in front of her to cry and see me weak but I could not control it. My tears speak the real feelings I have, and I could not help it. I don't want to let her go but this is for her. I would not risk her happiness for us. And I mean it that I'm not sure if I could make her happy like he is doing. I hate myself and I don't know how to start again that she is gone now in my life.

She is not happy that I gave in for them, she even wants me fight for her... But... I made up my mind. I accept all the punches and hits she throws at me coz it is the least way she could do to hurt me for just letting her go. Just hurt me, Gayle.. Hinayaan ko lang siya. Pero gusto ko pa siyang yakapin ng mahigpit pero hindi ko na ginawa baka kasi hindi na ako makaalis sa tabi niya. Kaya nung tumigil na siya sa kakahampas sa akin ay umalis na ako nang hindi na lumingon ulit. Naglakad ako palayo at maglalakad lang hanggang sa kung saan ako dalhin ng mga paa ko.

Shit. I'm so stupid. Tama ba? Tama na! Masaya na siya.. Kaya ko rin magmove-on at maghanap ng iba. There's so many fish in the sea but I need to catch a good one. Pero mukhang mahihirapan ako.

Good luck na lang sa ating dalawa, Gayle; to your life, studies and career. Sana talaga in next life, tayo naman? Paalam na, flurry love ko.

Hindi pa ako nakakalayo sa plaza ay may humila sa balikat ko na kamuntikan ko nang ikatumba at may dumapong kamao sa aking mukha.

"Gago!" sigaw niya sa harapan ko at aakma ulit ng suntok pero bigla naman niya akong inakbayan. "Gago ka ba talaga? Bakit? Alam ko naman na matagal mo siyang hinintay at hinanap pero bakit? Tanga ka? Mahal ka ni Gayle nang sobra pero bakit? Ha?!"

Alam ko kung ano ang tinutukoy niya ayaw ko lang magsalita. Kasi bukod sa masakit ang panga ko ay ayaw ko nang makita ang katotohanan na ako ay isang tanga. Inaamin ko naman sa sarili ko na gago at tanga ako.

"Saan ka pupunta? Ihatid na kita baka kung ano pa ang mangyari sa'yo." nahila ako sa paglalakad dahil bigla niya akong inakay kahit kaya ko naman ang sarili ko. "Salamat pala sa pagpapaubaya ha. Huwag kang mag-alala, makakasiguro ka na mananatili siyang masaya dito at pupunuin namin siya ng pagmamahal. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano siya matutulungan na kalimutan ka. She never learns how to forget, lalo ka na. Sa halos limang buwan niya dito ay ikaw ang nasa puso niya kaya baka doon siya mahirapan. Ang tanga mo kasi bakit hinayaan mo lang? Bakit hindi mo siya pinilit na sumama sa'yo? Mahal ko siya, pero ikaw naman ang unang nagmahal sa kaniya at ikaw pa rin talaga ang nasa puso niya kaya matatanggap ko kung kukunin mo na siya, pero bakit hindi mo ginawa?!!"