Splattered Paint - Dan Howell

Unsubtle Lies

Darcy's P.O.V 

By noon, Dan and I had sprawled ourselves across the couch, on body's connected in a tangled mess of limbs. His intoxicating breath was hitting my neck as I stared at the figures on the TV screen that had been turned on at some point. I felt like a Disney princess, my feelings completely out of this world. Dan was absolutely perfect, in every way possible. He understood me and that was something I needed after many, many years without anyone to talk to, even before I was kidnapped. In fact, since my parents died, I didn't have ANYONE in my life as caring and loving and Dan and Phil. 

When Dan had told me about the fit I had the day before, I remembered almost instantly. It must have been the paint that triggered all my bottles up emotions and memories to explode. But I felt relieved now.  

Suddenly Dan's laugh shook my body and I snapped out of my thoughts. His laugh was perfect, so was his smile, and his eyes, and his hair, and his dimples and his, No! I can't continue thinking about him like this! I knew I needed to stop, but it was impossible! I loved him, I really did and now it was becoming out of hand. Constantly zoning out and having these fantasies and it was all so wrong! We were friends and if I wasn't careful, I was going to stuff things up!  

"I think I might just go for a walk, or just head outside for a bit okay?" I asked, mentally kicking myself for moving away from Dan. My body felt cold and I wished I could just lie back down but my head was crowded with Dan and I needed to cool off. 

"Uh sure, you okay?" He asked, sitting up straight as I stood up, stretching my back. 

"Yeah, just need some fresh air, I'll be back soon" I assured him and walked to the door, opening it and stepping out of the apartment. I took the stairs down, a little exercise wouldn't be bad for me. Once I had left the building and was outside, I strolled down the street, taking note of the directions back.  

Why do I love Dan so much? Was what I was thinking. I knew why of course, I could list hundreds of reasons why but why did I? What caused my feelings too become so strong and irreversible? I needed to stop now, before I did something stupid. But how, was that even possible? 

Phil, I thought. Phil. I would ask him. I trusted him enough that I knew he wouldn't get mad. In fact, maybe I didn't even have to tell him it was Dan. I could just say I knew someone and I loved them and what do I do? But then, that would be too obvious, or he could get the wrong idea. GOD DAMN IT! I would tell him, I would tell him soon because I needed too! 

I came to the familiar Starbucks, the one Dan and I had been to yesterday. I only realised now that I was following the path to the park, which I didn't want to. So I turned around and headed home, knowing what I must do at some point.  

Once I had reached the front door, and opened it I noticed Dan was putting his coat on and already had shoes on.  

"Hi, where are you going?" I asked, he shot his head up in surprise and I watched his worried expression turned calm.  

"YOU'RE BACK! You didn't bring your phone with you and it had been over an hour so I got worried and decided to go find you, are you sure you're alright?" He asked, now taking his jacket off.  

"Yeah, I'm fine" I lied, and Dan could tell but I knew he wouldn't push it. He took off his shoes, waiting silently for me to take mine off as well. I smiled up at him and internally sighed, regretting that decision because he smiled back, his dimples stabbing me in the heart. I had to stop myself from staring, placing my shoes neatly by the door and standing up.  

"Hey, where's Phil?" I asked, slightly stuttering with nerves that I hadn't noticed till now. 

"Uh, probably still in his room..." Dan said, fixing his hair slightly. I nodded and thanked him before heading through the living room and down the hallway. Dan didn't follow and I made sure as I knocked on Phil's door, and entered after permission, Dan wasn't in sight.  

"You alright?" Phil asked, taking his eyes away from his laptop and facing me. I gulped and suddenly my mouth went dry. How had I thought this was going to be easy?  

"Uh, Phil? I need to tell you something um, yeah" Phil raised an eye brow, and then smiled at me calmly.  

"Sure, what is it?" I opened my mouth but shut it again, probably looking like a goldfish. I didn't know how to word it, and my heart was thumping in my chest. What if Phil got mad, what if he told Dan? I started doubting whether it was a good idea and after a very long silence I put on a fake smile.  

"Oh I was just gonna tell you that I am gonna watch TV and um, yeah" I mentally slapped myself. I'm so un-subtle! 

"Darcy? What is bothering you?" I gulped, this was such a bad idea.  

"Nothing, I promise" I said a little too quickly. Phil sighed, probably upset that I wasn't telling him the truth.  

"Seriously Phil, it's nothing" I assured him and left his room, not wanting to bother him any further. I shuffled down the hallway to my room where I shut the door and flopped onto my bed. What do I do now? I literally couldn't physically tell Phil and that was a major problem. Maybe I had to do it when I wasn't thinking about it too much?  

Maybe I should stop loving Dan, oh wait, that was impossible.

I luff you <3 

Stay beYOUtiful! 

Baii!!!!