Splattered Paint - Dan Howell

Beautiful Tears

Dan's P.O.V

My back ached, and that was my first thought as I awoke from my sleep. The hospital reception chairs weren't particularly comfortable, but as soon as I remembered why I was there those thoughts were shoved aside.

Is Darcy awake? I wondered, standing up and stretching before striding down the hall to the doctor's office.

"Morning Dan, Darcy woke up about ten minutes ago, the only person to see her was a nurse who gave her some painkillers and water. She hasn't spoken yet, so we aren't entirely sure how much she remembers. We ask that you do not react negatively if her response isn't what you expect though, and please listen to me if I ask you to do something" I agreed and sat in his office, he decided to wait an hour before I rush in and get to meet Darcy.

During the hour I waited, I suddenly realised that I hadn't told Phil the news, and he must be pretty worried. I also left my phone at home.

"Hey, can I call Phil? His number is on your phone" The doctor nodded and opened his briefcase, speaking as he did.

"He called last night before you arrived and I told him, he said he would visit today. I also texted him that she was okay and you arrived" I thanked Dr Hodgons and told him not to bother anymore.

 "Are you ready?" He asked as I stood outside her room, the blue door being the only separation between me meeting Darcy. I brushed my shirt and fixed my hair for the millionth time before nodding and breathing deeply as I reached forward and grabbed the metal door knob, turning it slowly and then pushing the door forward.

Her skin was slightly paler than usual, body laying upright on the bleached hospital bed matching the rest of the room. Her arms were bandaged, the same material trailing from below her neck past the top of the hospital gown. I breathed out shakily and walked forward, suddenly she made eye contact with me.  My heart skipped a beat and I knelt beside her bed, her eyes still on me.

I gulped, breathe, I reminded myself.

"Darcy? It's me, Dan" She stayed silent, but her eyes scanned my body.

"Do you remember me?" I asked, praying to god that the answer was yes.

Darcy's P.O.V

I was confused, my memory completely blank but when that boy entered the room I felt strange. I wasn't sure if it was good or not, and I admittedly felt a bit anxious as he walked over and started talking. His voice sent shivers down my spine, and his name was slightly familiar. I felt like I had seen it before, or heard it before.

"Come on Darcy, it's me! You have to remember..." I couldn't stop myself staring at him, his eyes were intriguing and when I tried looking away I couldn't manage to

"ITS ME! COME ON DARCY YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER! THINK! Please... I miss you so much and you HAVE to remember" He seemed genuinely desperate, and slightly impatient. A tear escaped his left eye and he wiped it away quickly.

My memory was a blank sheet of paper, except for one little word.

Dan.

Dan.

Dan.

I found myself smiling as I repeated it over and over in my head.

Dan.

Dan.

Dan.

And when he smiled back my stomach erupted in butterflies, my breathing becoming unsteady and I hadn't noticed I was crying until now. I didn't know why I was reacting this way, my body and heart were one step ahead of my mind. Suddenly I found myself wrapping my arms around Dan's neck, and at that moment it all came back to me.

The concrete room, the blood, the hospital, Phil, the apartment, the abuse, the kiss in the rain, the court meeting, the mental hospital and it all ended with Dan. I was sobbing uncontrollably into Dan's shoulder, and I felt his arms wrap around me carefully. My arms were hurting like crazy bit it didn't matter.

I was with Dan, after everything, I was finally with Dan.

The boy I loved.

I could hear him crying softly onto my neck, and I gripped tighter.

"Dan" I croaked and another wave of more detailed memories came to me, making me cry louder, each loud sob jolting my body harshly. Yet I felt safe, I always felt safe with Dan.

The doctor was right, all along, and I was so glad I hadn't died when I tried to commit suicide. I had an amazing life, I just couldn't remember it. But now I could, and I gripped as tight as I could to Dan, never wanting to let go.

"I remember" I whimpered softly, and I could almost feel Dan smile. So I shut my eyes, relaxing in his strong, loving embrace.

"I love you" He muffled into my shoulder and for some reason I cried harder, the pure joy and bliss of the moment so overwhelming and beautiful.

"I know, and I love you too" I assured him.

And I suddenly realised the doctor was right, Dan had been visiting me every day. He really did love me, and our love was so much stronger now.

Dan's P.O.V

I couldn't stop myself crying, and I knew she must be hurting herself but I couldn't let go. I needed this, and I couldn't let go. 

We sat in silence for a long while, purely making up for the months of separation.

"Phil!" She exclaimed and we parted. Sure enough, Phil stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets.

"Hello love" he chocked and I noticed he was crying too. He walked over to the other side of the bed and hugged Darcy.

It was then that I realised that everything was perfect again, that the last few months of pain were worth it. Darcy was fine now, and she didn't have a fit.

She was fine.                                             

Healed, and just as beautiful as ever.