Splattered Paint - Dan Howell

Frantic Prayers

Darcy's P.O.V

All lies, every word of it.

As the doctor tried explaining something about my past I blocked most of it out, knowing every word he said wasn't true. It was all filthy lies.

"Any questions?" He asked and I snapped out of my thoughts, shaking my head and giving him a fake smile.

"Are you sure? You usually have too many questions" he stated and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't have any" I assured him and he stood up, giving me one last look before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. I waited a few minutes before my attention was drawn to the platter of food he left behind on my desk. I inhaled deeply and reminded myself of what I was about to do.

Quick. I thought. I have to be quick and quiet.

I sat down on the desk chair and exhaled.

This is it.

And with one quick movement I grabbed the knife, placed it on my shoulder and yanked it down my arm, my skin ripping open and blood pouring out instantly. I couldn't hold back a scream as I did it on my other arm, the second one hurting even more. Blood was pouring down both my arms and onto the white hospital clothes. There was also a growing puddle of crimson beneath the chair.

Suddenly a loud alarm was ringing at a deafening pitch and I could hear screaming from outside my room. I shakily placed the knife below my neck, between my collar bones and slid the knife harshly down my chest.

My vision was becoming blurry and I dropped the knife. I had lost so much blood and now I was wishing I would die quicker.

Hurry up. Was my only thought. Just die already.

And as my vision became clouded and I felt my body falling, I felt a strange sense of peace before my head hit an extremely hard surface and then I blacked out.

Dan's P.O.V

"So do you think she will be able to leave soon?" Phil asked as we placed our dinner on the table and helped ourselves to the meal we prepared.

"I think so, she is so much better! Dr Hodgons hasn't gone into too much detail, but as long as she starts remembering things then her amnesia is going and she will be fine. I'm pretty sure he wants to be there to assist when she remembers most of it though, because the risk of her having an attack is still there" Phil finished a mouthful of his food and wiped his mouth.

"So why did you come home early then?" He asked and I shrugged.

"My phone ran out of battery and nothing was really happening. Usually I won't miss her sessions with the doctor but they are pretty boring now, even if I miss anything he said he would call me straight away" Phil nodded and we sat in silence for a while.

"Do you think she will still want to live with us once she remembers everything?" Phil chuckled and placed his fork on his plate.

"I'm pretty sure, besides, it's not like she will suddenly hate us. She has just forgotten is all" I pondered with the idea that she might not want to live with us, that she won't love me anymore but Phil was right. She doesn't hate us, she has just forgotten us and that shouldn't change how she felt.

I took a sip of water from my glass and opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off as my phone started ringing. My eyes widened and I jumped out of my seat before sprinting to my charging phone and answering, not bothering to check who was calling.

"Hello?" I said, my voice out of breath.

"Dan, Darcy has attempted suicide and she is being taken to hospital. She is suffering extreme blood loss and a concussion"

Everything froze.

I fell to the floor, the phone still on my ear and I let out a strangled sob.

Then I screamed, this time dropping the phone and burying my face in my knees, huddling in the corner.

NO

This can't be happening

She is supposed to be getting better

Why would she do it?

WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE STOP HER?

My sobbing was absolutely hysteric, I felt like my world had suddenly been turned to hell.

Darcy might die

She is dying

I may never hear her again

I may never speak to her again

I may never hold her again

She won't exist anymore

The woman I am absolutely infatuated with, in love with

Is dying.

And those same words kept replaying in my head. They were killing me, I was dying too.

I blocked out Phil, his arms shaking me and I screamed again, but that small spark of hope that she might be okay suddenly came to my attention and without saying anything I stood up and ran out of the apartment, grabbing the car keys on the way. I didn't care about anything else except for Darcy.

I didn't waste anytime in the lobby, instead I ran out the doors and into the car, starting the ignition and practically speeding to the hospital. For the first time ever, I prayed out loud and asked that Darcy would be saved.

"Darcy Thompson" I practically screamed to the lady at the reception desk, receiving multiple glares from patients that I didn't give fuck about.

"Sir, she is currently undergoing emergency surgery, you will have to wait until-"

"Dan" The doctor greeted me quickly, cutting the lady off and gesturing for me to go with him. I followed, a million questions buzzing in my head.

"How" was all managed to say, my voice quiet and broken. Dr Hodgons led me into what I assumed was his office and shut the door. He pointed towards a chair in the corner and I sat, wanting answers immediately.

"We had our session and after I left she used the knife for her meal to cut a line deeply from her shoulder all the way to her wrist on each arm. Then she cut again down her front and became unconscious, hitting her head after falling off her chair. She was immediately brought to the hospital and now she is being under special emergency care" I couldn't stop my body shaking, and I refused to speak, in fear I would crack and start crying again.

"She will most definitely make it, it was the journey here that she could have potentially not have stayed alive through" I sighed loudly, instantly feeling more calm but I was still horrified none the less.

"Why?" I whispered and the doctor shook his head.

"We aren't entirely sure. She seemed to be progressing, maybe she just snapped and couldn't handle it anymore" I looked down, fully aware that tears were trailing down my cheeks.

"But on the bright side Dan, she made it and we have agreed that once she wakes up, you will be the first to see her. We have post-poned it long enough, if she recognises you she will get her memory back and she will be happy again. The risk of her committing suicide is more dangerous than her possibly having an attack from regaining her memory" I was already excited by the idea of being able to communicate with Darcy, and if she remembered me than I would be able to hold her and kiss her again. I missed that so much that I could hardly wait.

"What happens if she remembers and doesn't have an attack?" I asked.

"Then she will stay here until her wounds heal a bit and then she will be allowed home. But if she does remember and have an attack, we will have to consider other possible options" And with that information I prayed, yet again, that Darcy would be okay, and that her memory would come back peacefully.