Hushed (Book 2 of the Silent Series)

Scared And Alone

He was staring at Scott. No words, no emotion, just a blank stare that was going straight into Scott's eyes.

"Hi." Scott says. Alex shakes his head, moving his eyes to his hands that were fiddling with each other.

"Why are you here?" He asks, a harsh tone in his voice. This was the first time Alex was actually letting Scott stay and talk to him.

"Because I care about you. I'm worried." Alex was almost furious.

"Why? Why on earth do you care about me? Why care about me when you could be in Los Angeles with Mitch. I know you don't want to fucking be here."

"I do want to be here. I love Arlington."

"But you also love Mitch."

"I'm not here to talk about Mitch, okay? This is about you."

"I don't want it to be about me! I'm fucking embarrassed, Scott! Can't you see that?"

"Why are you embarrassed?"

"Because you found me almost fucking dead, naked in a bath tub! That's why." Alex covers his mouth with his hands, not believing what he said.

"What happened?"

"You're my best friend, Scott."

"You're mine too."

"So you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you, right?"

"Alex, that depends-"

"Right!?"

"Okay. Yes. Right."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"I wish you would've left me there. Then none of this would have happened. I'd be...up there."
He points straight up. "Do you get what I'm saying?" Scott nods.

"You don't mean that."

"My step dad hates me. My real dad passed away, and my mom was so scared, she went to the first guy she could find. He is an ass. My mom supports me, but Daryl hates gays. He hurts me, Scott. My mom doesn't even know about it."

"Alex-"

"And he hurt me the worst this time. Never has he hurt me that much. I never argued back, and I did, and now I know not too."

"I have to tell someone, Alex. That isn't okay."

"You promised me. Please don't break it." Scott shakes his head. "I'm not explaining how I ended up with a fucking broken skull in my bath tub, but I'm telling my mom that I fell while in the shower." Scott didn't know what to say, he wanted to tell someone.

"I am definitely not leaving you now."

"Scott, I want you too leave. I want to start over. I graduated, I'm eighteen. I can go on my own. I'm leaving, and I'm going to Arizona. I didn't get a chance to do that. I want a clean slate, okay? Please understand me."

"I-I do."

"And I don't want you to worry about me. Please don't worry about me."

"Alex, I've been worrying about you since this whole situation happened. This affected me too."

"How?"

"Because I stayed after graduation, and I was alone for a month and a half. I cut myself off from everyone, even Avi and he still lives here. I turned off my phone so no one could talk to me, because I was scared and alone."

"Why? Why did you do that to yourself?"

"Because I wanted to make sure I was here when you woke up, that you were okay and I wouldn't get any temptations to leave. I didn't want to leave you, but me not leaving you meant that everyone else would leave me. I've been staying with Avi for the past week because my parents kicked me out, and he is the only one there now. And now you're leaving, so I'm back to just one person."

"You won't convince me too stay. I'm fucking leaving as soon as I get out of here. I'm sorry that happened to you, I really am, but I can't deal with this place anymore. I want to leave."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"What else do you want me to say, Allie?"

"I don't fucking know? Maybe a 'Good luck!' or a 'Can we still talk?' Not fucking 'okay'."

"Alex, I don't know what you want from me. You want me to leave, and you want to start over, but you want me to ask you if we can keep talking?"

"You're the only one I'd even think about talking to after I leave."

"But why?"

"I don't know. Maybe because to were my first love? Ever think about that? Maybe I wasn't yours, because I know Mitch is, but you were mine. Maybe because you were still my best friend when I came back, even after what we went through at our old school and the beginning of this year. Because you've always been there for me. Even when I didn't need you."

"Alex..."

"Get the fuck out."

"No-"

"Go to fucking Los Angeles with the people you really want to be with! I know it's not me! I'm not your home, Mitch is! Stop acting like you want to be here with me! Please!"

"I do want to be here with you, Allie!"

"But you'd rather be with Mitch, and you denying it is just a flat out lie."

"I'm not denying it."

"Then what are you still doing here? Go get your plane tickets. Go."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"You're my best friend."

"I know. Now go to the boy you are in love with, not just love like me."

"Okay. I'll still talk to you if you're good with it." Scott gets up and heads for the door. "I'm good with it."

"I'll think about it." Alex smiles. "Get out of here!" He jokingly yells, noticing that Scott was still sitting in the room and holding onto the door knob.

"Okay!" Scott finally leaves. He doesn't look back. He goes straight out of the door, heading straight to his place, well, Avi's place to buy plane tickets.

He was doing things for himself now. Not to make Alex happy, which didn't work anyway, not make Avi happy, which he didn't need, but for himself. To make himself happy, which he wasn't while he was in Arlington. Because Arlington didn't make him happy.

Mitch did.