Maybe It Can Be Real

Chapter 52

Ending of last chapter:

"Well, I think you need to step back on your hours a little. I know you love it and all, but there are other workers there for a reason."

He nods his head. "Okay. I understand where you're coming from."

I lean forward again to kiss him quickly, but again he stops me. "You know, I don't really care," I whisper as I press a firm yet gentle kiss to his lips.

**** I changed the time jump in the last chapter from 2 years to 3 years, just letting you know.

With shaky and unreliable legs, my lungs begging to breathe in the piney air, I ram my way into the woods, going as deep as I dare right now. Which isn't very far. A mile, at most. Seating myself on the ground, I lean my back against the scratchy trunk of the tree. Try as I might, I can't keep the tears from falling from my eyes, so I let them. I'm alone right now anyway, so it's not as bad.

Confusion. Fear. Remorse. Heartache. All of these emotions are running rampant through my body now, extending to all the tips of my being, consuming me in a whole whirlpool of emotions that I could never hope to control. It was only a matter of time before it happened, and there was really no way to prepare myself. I tried and it - well, it obviously failed.

But above all the other feelings is guilt. It's overwhelming me, making it hard to catch my breath through my ongoing sobs. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I have no control of my emotions right now. What I really want is Peeta's comfort, his warm arms wrapped around me in a consoling embrace.

But he's the one causing this meltdown.

He finally asked the question that has been haunting me since we got married.

"Hey, Katniss," he said as he sat down next to me on the front porch.

Pulling my gaze away from the geese in Haymitch's yard, I looked over at him, giving him a smile and lacing our fingers together. "Yeah?"

He sent me a tight smile, saying, "I'm not really sure how to bring this up. Or... ask about it."

The lingering grin faded from my lips, a frown replacing it. "Peeta, you know you can ask me anything. Quite frankly, I'd give you the moon if you asked for it."

Peeta bit his lip, looking at the ground instead of me. "I just... I know how you feel about it, and I don't want anything to ruin your mood."

Laughing a little, I replied, "Well, now that you've said that, you have to tell me or else I'll drive you nuts pestering you about it."

He sighed, finally bringing his gaze to mine. "Katniss, can we have a kid?"

I stopped in my tracks mid-shift as I was crossing my legs. That's not what I was expecting at all. I was expecting something totally different. Quitting his job at the bakery. Moving to a different house. Not that. The blood drained from my face, leaving it as white as the sheets of snow that come down in the winter. Already, thoughts of my children being sent into the Games - despite the fact that they no longer exist - flooded my mind, making my nerves explode into a frenzy. I immediately got nauseous, not able to answer his question with the first thought in my mind. No.

Responding to my stunned silence, knowing what it meant, he said, "I've enjoyed just the two of us here - really, I have - but it's been ten years since the end of the war. Everyone is safe. Our children could be safe, Katniss. Nothing would happen to them. You and I both, we'd protect them with everything we could," he whispered the last part. "I love our little family of two, but I'd love it even more if it was a family of three, maybe even four. Please, Katniss." There were tears glistening in his blue eyes.