Maybe It Can Be Real

Chapter 65

Ending of last chapter:

Just like the song. Deep in the meadow, under the willow. The song used to calm my fears, and holding her calmed my fears. There's nothing else I'd rather it be.

I look our baby up and down, smiling. "Willow. Perfect."

The last thing I see before the tendrils of sleep pull me down is my husband standing by the window while gently rocking our daughter in his arms, whispering to her about all there is to see outside.

**** PS: I have not read this chapter as a whole yet lol so please point out any errors or inconsistencies if you see them

Willow's eyes are blue. The same bright, radiant blue that Peeta has. It took her a little while to open her eyes, but when she finally did, Peeta cried. I cried because he did. Then Willow cried because she was hungry.

Speaking of which, breastfeeding is the bane of my existence at the moment. I didn't realize how painful it would be! My chest is so, so sore. I can't wear shirts that are too tight - those hurt too much. I try not to wince when Willow eats because I don't want to scare her or anything.

I'm also an emotional wreck right now. The midwife said it was because of my hormones, which makes sense. I go from being miserably sad to being miserably anxious to being miserably irritated. I'm sure it's just fantastic for Peeta to have to deal with me right now.

Oh, and how could we forget the cramps and the bleeding? My cramps usually come when Willow is nursing. They're not terrible compared to the labor cramps, but they're not painless. I've been sitting on a towel or two the past couple days because of the fact that I bleed profusely sometimes.

Peeta's had to run to the store to get more towels.

My body is also physically and mentally exhausted. Taking care of a baby, especially a newborn, is stressful! There are so many little things you have to do, from holding their neck since it's not stable to turning their head throughout the night so their skull forms correctly. I literally had no idea that babies were this much work. Thank God the midwife lives in an empty house in the Village for now.

All I'm asking for is five decent hours of sleep. Five! Really, is that too much to ask for? Willow wakes up constantly, screeching for either food, a diaper change, or just someone to hold her. I, obviously, have to feed her, but other than that Peeta usually gets her. First, he wants to. Second, she calms down much quicker with him. He's incredibly good with her - he knows exactly what to do. I'm trying, and I'm getting there, but I'll never be as good as Peeta when it comes to this stuff.

I'm just thankful Peeta's been here for this. To be honest, the baby would be in bad shape if it was just me. Maybe I'll learn for the next one.

Woah, wait, next one? Hold your horses, Katniss, you just had a kid 5 days ago.

Willow's cries erupt from the next room over, her nursery. Sighing, I crawl sorely out of bed and amble on over to her room. "Hi, baby girl," I say tiredly as I walk in. "What's goin' on? How can Momma help?" Her cries get louder at my voice. She knows I'm close and I'll give her whatever she wants or needs.

Picking her up gently, I say, "You sure are a load of work. But I love you anyway, you know that right?" I sit down in the oak rocker next to her crib, pulling up my shirt so she can eat. My head falls back to rest against the rocker. "I swear I do. Momma isn't used to having a little baby like you around, so I'm still getting used to it."

I'm silent until she's done eating, when I sit her up and burp her. Then we sit there, my daughter curled up in my arms and resting against my chest. Her blue eyes are dancing with happiness.

Kissing her forehead, I tell her quietly, "I may not say or do the right things a lot of the time, but I'm trying. I promise I'll be better soon. But I'll never be as good as your Daddy is with you."

Peeta's head pokes in the room. "What was that?", he asks, putting his hand behind his ear. "I didn't catch what you said."

"Oh, shut up," I reply with a laugh. "You know what I said."

"How are you feeling? Still sore?", he asks. "Sorry she disrupted your nap; I wish I could help feed her, but we have to wait for a while for that."

Yawning, I respond, "Incredibly sore and tired. But I'll take it if that means we have her." Softly, I run my finger down her small chubby cheek.

He walks over and smooths the back of my hair, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. His hand stays there as he crouches down and uses his other hand to tickle Willow's foot. "And how are you feeling, little one?" In response, she kicks the foot he was tickling out.

"Here, you can hold her," I say. "I need to go to the bathroom anyway."

Softly, he takes her out of my arms. After I get out of the chair, he sits down and cradles her small body against his, gently rocking back and forth. "Hi, sweetie," he whispers. "I hope you're happy here with your Mommy and I." I don't hear the rest of what he says cause I leave the room and get out of earshot.

I hope she's happy too. I know Peeta is ecstatic, and I'm ecstatic as well. He treats her like a princess so she better be happy! I wouldn't know what else to do if she wasn't.

I'm going to make sure she has a good, happy, and fulfilling life. She will not grow up with the same fear and sadness that Peeta and I did. I'll be damned before that happens. I know Peeta feels the same way, so there's no doubt in my mind that she won't. If Peeta and I want something, we get it.

And we want that most in the world.

***
Hello!!! Sorry this is short:/// I had to do some research to see what happens to you after you give birth lol so that's why I actually sounded kinda intelligent in this chapter

Thanks for reading!!!!

Shoot straight and be brave my fellow lovelies,
Weezabeth <3