Maybe It Can Be Real

Chapter 7

*** THERE WILL BE QUESTIONS AT THE END, SO PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND COMMENT IF YOU USUALLY DONT! THANKS!***

Peeta sleeps well past sunrise. He must've been so tired. I was well rested from my nap yesterday afternoon then last night, so I didn't go back to sleep after my dream. I find it kind of weird Peeta brushed my hair out in the middle of the night when he could've gone back to sleep.

I lay there for a while just being lazy. After a bit I start squirming. I mentally scream at my bladder since I don't want to get up, but eventually I do. I carefully get out of bed trying not to wake Peeta and make my way to the bathroom.

While in there I can hear Peeta stirring. I hope it wasn't me that woke him up. I do my business then sigh as I look into the mirror. My hair looks decent now (thanks to Peeta), but the rest of me is still hideous. I probe my jaw, cheekbone, and lips. I run my fingers along the scars I have everywhere.

A lump forms in my throat, but I swallow hard to try and get rid of it. People have told me before that I'm beautiful, but I don't see it. Never have, never will. I look in the mirror and see an ugly monster, not the girl who wooed people in a fiery dress.... twice.

I don't even have beauty inside. I'm not intelligent, I'm not good at protecting people, I'm a sarcastic person, I've killed people with almost no hesitation, and I'm selfish. My first instinct is to run and protect myself. How could anybody love me? Not even that, like me as a friend?

Tears start streaming down my face as I sit down on the toilet. I pull my knees up and bury my face into them. Add emotionally broken to the list I think to myself.

I know Peeta is awake now because I hear him get out of bed. I clamp my hand over my mouth to stifle the noises coming out of it. I guess I'm quiet enough because I hear Peeta go downstairs. Well, he might hear you but chooses to ignore you since you're an awful person.

I get up and lock the door. Once sitting on the ground, I continue to cry silent tears. At least one good thing came out of so much crying: I know how to stay silent so I can grieve by myself.

"Katniss?", Peeta calls. He's still downstairs. He calls out my name again. "Where are you?"

I don't reply to him. Tears continue to flow as he comes up the stairs and into my room.

"Katniss, are you okay?", he asks loudly not knowing where I am. He must know I'm not okay, though. I guess Peeta realizes I'm in the bathroom, so he comes to the door. The doorknob turns a little, but is then stopped by the lock. I hear some scuffling then a thump as Peeta sits down.

"What's wrong?", he asks me softly through the door. I shake my head knowing full well he can't see it, and still cry. But this time louder. Loud and choked sobs come out out of my mouth.

"I can't help you if you ignore me and keep the door locked," he tells me.

"I-I kno-know," I say between sobs. I reach up to unlock the door and gently twist the handle to unlock it. My hand flops back down and I crawl away to let Peeta in.

Without thinking about it, my arms and legs carry me below the sink. I get into the same position as I did on the toilet. Peeta comes in and sits on the edge of the bathtub across from me.

"What's wrong?", he asks again. I just shake my head in response. He reaches out and cups his hand around my chin making me look at him. "You can tell me anything. Whats bugging you?"

"Look at me!", I exclaim. "I'm hideous! I have scars everywhere, my lips are thin, my hands are bony, I'm way too skinny," I say while lifting up my shirt to reveal my protruding ribs, "I'm terribly stupid, and I've killed people! My facial features are either too big or too small! I'm not pretty! I'm a horrible thing that has no right to live its life!" I didn't think about it before, but now that I've said it, I know it's true.

All of that was said with tears flowing in a great amount down my face. I push his hand away then lay on the ground. I cover my head with my arms and continue to cry loudly.

"Katniss, look at me," Peeta says. I don't look at him because I don't want him to see my face. He repeats himself, firmer this time. "Katniss. Look at me." I raise my head up, but I don't look quite into his eyes

"You shouldn't think that. I don't know where you're getting that idea, but you're none of those things. Your scars show how brave and tough you are. Do you know anyone else who could've gone through that as well as you did?", he doesn't give me time to answer (not that I was going to, but still). He keeps talking.

"Your lips are beautiful. I would kiss them all day if I could. Yes, your hands are bony, but that's because you haven't eaten much. They weren't like that before. They were strong and sure of themselves."

"You may be skinny, but you are still pretty. Nothing could make you look any less than that! Nothing! We can fix it."

"Stupid? Forget that. You are the smartest person I know. You figured out the Quell arena with just two words from Wiress! Beetee hadn't even figured it out! Doesn't that count for something?", he asks quietly. Tears start to glisten in his eyes.

"We can't erase the fact that you have done some things you regret. I'm not saying you wanted to; you were forced into it if you wanted to live. That's something we have to deal with. But that makes you stronger, which makes you even more beautiful."

Peeta is just saying this stuff. None of it is true! With that, a fresh round of tears pour out of my eyes.

"Your features are not too big or too small. They are perfect the way they are. They fit on you. You are not a thing that has no right to live. You saved countless lives by ending the Games! Children would still be sent to the reaping each year without you!"

"You love with all your heart and go to extreme measures to protect the ones you love. You got your forehead cut for me! You volunteered for Prim! You got hit with a whip for Gale! You are not something that doesn't deserve to live. You are here for a reason. If you weren't supposed to live, you wouldn't be here. People need you. I need you!"

"God, do I need you. I know you don't need me, but I need you. I don't know how I survived when we weren't together. Every minute of every day was unbearable. Now I have you, and I'm going to try my hardest to keep you in my grasp."

"Now, please, please stop telling yourself that you're not beautiful. You're beautiful in every way, shape, and form. You are an amazing person. I love you so, so much. This isn't a cliché teenager love; we've gone through too much together for that. I love you wholeheartedly. 100%, Katniss."

I throw myself into Peeta and put my face into his neck. He started actually crying himself somewhere along the line; I can feel his tears falling into my hair. I can't see anything because tears were clouding my vision.

"I love you too, Peeta," I tell him. That is completely lame after what he just said, but it must be sufficient for him because he pulls my head out of his neck and kisses me. I respond with enthusiasm. We rest our foreheads together and close our eyes after the kiss.

"Everything I said is true. Every single part," he tells me. He says this close enough that our lips brush when he talks. He kisses me again and says, "I think I love you too much," with a smile.

I smile back. "You can never love someone too much."

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Hey guys!

Here is another chapter for ya'll! I hope you enjoyed it!

By the way, that is not how I view Katniss. That's how she views herself. I see her as Peeta does! Don't we all?(:

Now, questions.
1.) Should I use Peeta's point of view?
2.) If yes, should I use other people's POV, not just Katniss and Peeta?
3.) Should I skip ahead in time in the next few chapters?
4.) What are your thoughts on my book?

PLEASE PLEASE comment and vote! That means the world to me!

Remember: you can private message me whenever! I will talk to you about anything!

Shoot straight and be brave my fellow lovelies,
Weezabeth <3