Maybe It Can Be Real

Chapter 56

Ending of last chapter:

In a second his shirt is pulled off and thrown to the ground, mine soon following it. He falls back, pulling me with him so I land on top of him. When I reach down to his pants, he stops me, whispering against my lips. "Are you sure, Katniss?"

Looking into his blue eyes, I hope to convey all my trust and love to him through my gaze. "Yes, I'm sure."

So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?"

I tell him, "Real."

****

Groaning, I flop over, pulling the blanket with me due to the chill coming in from the open window. Sometimes I don't understand how Peeta has been sleeping with the window open his whole life because it gets so cold in the early hours of the morning, but then it's late at night and for whatever reason I can't sleep, so I listen to the sounds outside - and I understand. Crickets chirping in the grass that probably needs to be cut. Owls whooing in the trees, searching for their next meal. The rustle of branches as they take off. Even the occasional honk from one of Haymitch's geese that has somehow managed to survive.

I jump a little when Peeta's arm snakes around my waist to pull me closer, surprising me. But I gladly go into his warm embrace, snuggling up against his bare chest.

Suddenly last night's events surface in my mind, and I can feel my cheeks and neck heat up in an unmistakable blush. I close my eyes and wince. There is no going back now, whatever I may decide in the future. It's... done.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?", Peeta asks as he pulls away to look at my face, his voice as rough as the gravel of our driveway. "You feel warm."

Avoiding his gaze, I mutter, "Yeah, I'm fine." To stop him from looking at me, I burrow under the covers, curling into a little ball of embarrassment. I can't believe we did that last night. I can't bear to look at him, I feel like he's going to treat me different now. And I don't want him to. If this changes our relationship negatively, I'll never forgive myself.

No, don't think like that, I scold myself. This isn't going to change anything. Peeta would never have second thoughts about things like that with me.

Sighing, Peeta joins me beneath the blankets, making us be in our own little pocket of warmth. He brushes the hair out of my eyes. "What's wrong, babe?", he whispers softly, as if he's trying not to wake someone sleeping peacefully.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. I know you are," he says, tilting my chin up so I look at him.

For a few moments, there is only silence. Then, "I... I just don't want you to love me less after last night."

"For God's sake, Katniss, why do you think that? We've been married for fifteen years, loved each other longer than that even, and you still think that? Why?", he questions, a fiery undertone present.

He doesn't let me say anything though. "You're the reason I wake up in the mornings. You're the reason why I still laugh despite everything. You're literally the reason why I'm alive, and yet you question my love for you?"

He briefly closes his eyes and shakes his head. "I need you like I need air to breathe. I need you like I need blood in my veins. You make my pulse race just thinking about you. I don't even have to be near you or touching you. Thinking about you is enough to do that."

"I willingly gave up everything for you years ago. I'd still do it in a heartbeat. But the only thing I won't give up is you."

He pulls his head back a bit and brushes a lock of my hair away from my face, twisting it between his fingers. "I love you more than anything," he whispers. "More than the amount stars in the sky and the grains of sand in the beaches. And if that's not what you think love is, then I don't know what to tell you. Because I do love you more than I love even life itself, and life is pretty damn good right now."