Duck In The Battlefield

Losing Sight

Hey I am one day late so sorry lol I'd like to thank everyone who commented I do read them xD I get so many notifications there's no reason not to. I also want to thank my boyfriend for encouraging me to keep writing and to upload this chapter even if I am feeling lazy. Thank you all for the support. As far as I can tell on Tuesdays I will upload a new chapter but keep posted to hear about other days that work with my wanna be adult college life xD

Chapter 40

My life was over. Everything seemed useless, sure I was being dramatic but I've never worked so hard to just fail. It was a horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like the feeling weighed down on my heart too much that it became heavy and fell. Like that was what I was feeling.

We drove back in silence. Well I tried to but Drake for once seemed like he actually wanted to talk.

"It's one match kid don't worry about it."

"Shut up Drake," I repeated again for the millionth time.

He sighed heavily and turned to glare at me. "Don't get ready to throw yourself a pity party just yet, we've all come close to losing-"

"But I did lose." I wasn't in the mood for a pep talk. I wanted to be alone and contemplate how dumb and useless and unskilled I am.

"You've been doing this for almost a year if you expect to be able to handle your own like us then you're either really looking to offend us or you're just kidding yourself."

It made sense don't get me wrong, but I was too prideful and stubborn to listen. "Just shut up Drake and take me... home," I hesitated on the word. Victor's place wasn't a home but in the same time it was... it was a complicated feeling.

As I said it I knew Drake probably understood. I could see it in his eyes. A sadness that the place he went to everyday held no meaning to him, the one he literally fought for is his only home.

After that he was silent. I didn't mind it. I thought of how I was going to call Mike tonight and tell him I lost. That he would tell me to cheer up and get to work. Just the thought of it made me mad.

When the car stopped I didn't stay any longer. I was glad to be away from Drake. As I opened the door to Victor's building I met the eyes of a group of people. I may have been paranoid but I could have sworn they were laughing at me, judging me. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I made myself feel sick.

I lowered my head and headed for the stairs only for a long pair of legs to be in my way. I looked up wanting to fight but I was tired. I didn't just lose a battle, I lost a purpose, my hope. Ever since I was child I believed there was nothing I couldn't do. If I tried hard enough and I really wanted it I could get it. There were two things I couldn't get though. But they weren't something to have.

"Duck," Victor said coming down the stairs to me. He was blocking my path so I had no choice but to meet his eyes.

"You've got a match set up with Class Meraki in two days, they're a new Division so don't disappoint me. You've got a lot to make up," Victor said emotionless. He felt a little cold, reminded me of my math teacher who has no mercy. But then he patted my head. I closed my eyes, the warmth in his hand reminded me of Mike and I missed him.

"Whatever," I said pushing his hand away. He got the clue and moved out my way. I felt somewhat like a prepubescent teeneager, seconds away from yelling you're ruining my life.

I was prepared to wallow in bed, maybe binge watch some Netflix and crave junk food but won't get up because I'm lazy. An hour passed where I got what I wanted. That was until I heard two gentle knocks on the door.