Duck In The Battlefield

Move Along

Chapter 47

I had never felt so empty inside. And it was really hard to feel that way because, for the most part my life was good. Yeah I didn't have parents for most of my life but I still had a perfect family. Mike really is all I need.

I couldn't hold back the tears again, I couldn't even lie to myself. Chase held onto me tighter. His hand softly brushing my hair. I sucked in a deep breath, I felt both hurt and ashamed. I can't believe I dragged Chase outside in the cold with me just so no one would see me crying.

"I'm sorry Chase," I managed to say through the tears. " You really don't have to stay with me." I tore myself away from him. I really needed to stop crying on any guy I bump into.

I had to be a big girl.

Chase laughed softly. " I'm pretty sure you are a big girl."

I couldn't help the heat that washed over my face. And it didn't help that Chase reached out to wipe the tears off my face.

"You know you're a lot tougher than you look..." Chase said hesitantly and then he stopped like he wanted to say more but decided not to.

" Chase... I had to let go of my mom today." I don't know why I suddenly said that. But I felt relieved.

He surprised me by holding my hand. "That's her lost."

For a good minute we sat in silence. But I had to say something that had been stuck in my mind.

"Your family doesn't deserve you either..." I couldn't forget our conversation that day he dropped me off to see my mom. How he had told me that he was no one without his family.

He gave me a soft smile but he didn't reply.

"Sorry, but you'll never be a no one. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. At the end of the day we can't change how we feel. If you want to get away from your family that doesn't make you spoiled or heartless.My brother probably hates my mom... and everyone else might too. I may have pushed her away but I can't help but love..." I said and turned to look at Chase.

The way he was looking at me was so intense I lost my words. I stared intently in his eyes and I completely forgot about tonight. I forgot about my pain. But I was never one to sulk to long.. Life was too short to waste it away negatively. Instead all I felt was my heart, thumping hard against my chest. My breath being stolen away and my head getting heavy. "I don't know why but I love..." you, I thought but I couldn't say it.

"Her." Chase finished for me. For a second I really felt like he what I was really going to say.

"I'm sorry." I said standing up, completely embarrassed. "I'm feeling a lot better... Goodnight Chase." I said turning around so fast I almost got whiplash. I heard Chase calling after me but I ignored him and rushed to my room.

When I got to my room I was so lost about what happened. One second I'm crying over my mom and the next I almost confess to Chase. I slumped down against my room door and covered my face. With a weird squeal, I kicked my feet in frustration.

"What is wrong with me!" I yelled through my hands.

"I don't know... I've wondered that for all these years. "Mike laughed from my bed.

Without any thought I took off my shoe and threw it at him. Mike screamed like a girl and dodged it. And just like that tonight started to feel normal. What's done, was done and seeing Mike smile made me feel like everything would be okay.

Mike did end up leaving the next morning and I felt like that was for the best. I did miss him but with everything that happened we needed to get back to our normal lives. It was kind of bittersweet that we were okay being apart.