Room 101

Chapter 1

Niall’s P.O.V

I sat there on the tiled shower floor as the warm water ran down my weak, pale body, I lowered my eyes and examined the wide cut which went along my wrist, the pain was horrible, but it was worth it, all I could do was cut, all I ever did was cut to take the pain away…

‘Do you believe in second chances Niall?’ the little voice echoed throughout my weak, confused mind, did I believe in second chances? I wasn’t too sure anymore.

“Niall?” my mums’ sweet voice knocked me out of my trance, I looked around as I pushed myself up off the cold tiled shower floor. “Honey are you alright?” she asked again, I could tell my actions would devastate her if she found out about what I’ve been doing.

“Yeah mum I’m fine” I half yelled as I reached back and wrapped my hand around the tap, I hissed with pain as I turned it off, excess water dripped down directly onto the cut. “I’ll be out in a sec” I added, I sighed as I heard the sound of her high heels walking away from the bathroom door.

As I left the shower, I continued to stare at the open cut, it was stinging so much, I didn’t have a life, I didn’t have friends, my only friend was my razor which I kept under my mattress in case things got wild.

You see, I was bullied; way more than a normal kid should have been, not that anyone deserves to get bullied. People would throw things at me, call me names, say stuff about me on Facebook and Twitter, that’s when I started cutting, I couldn’t help it, I was a wreck.

I turned my head as my phone lit up on the counter over in the left hand side corner of the room, as I cautiously approached it, I took notice of the notification which was from Twitter, yay, more hurtful words are heading my way.

I picked up the small device and slowly unlocked it.

@Niall_Horan ‘You stupid fagot! You should just go kill urself already’.

“Fuck off!” I screamed as I dropped it, I listened to it as it connected with the hard floor, making the screen crack slightly.

Why me? What did I ever do them? Nothing!

“Niall honey?” my mum called again, her voice sounded like it was breaking as she spoke to me through the door.

“I’m fine mum, just give me a minute” I yelled to her as I slid down the wall slowly before hitting the floor with force, making me grunt as a small wave of pain went up my body. “Why me?” I whispered as tears began to run down my pale cheeks.

My body was weak, as was my mind, I didn’t want to move, all I wanted to do was die, I wanted everything to end.

‘You’re worthless Niall, nobody loves you’ I brought my hands up and covered my ears as the little voice echoed throughout my mind, but it didn’t stop it. ‘You can get rid of me Niall! I’m here, I’ll always be here’ as I began to rock back and forth, I heard a loud knock on the bathroom door again. ‘Go on, answer it…I’ll be back’. I was sobbing to myself as I got up off the cold floor and strolled over to the door, picking up a towel on the way.

I pulled the door open as I finished wrapping the towel around my waist. “Mum I said I’m fine” I exhaled as I kept my right arm behind my back, keeping it out of her eye sight.

“I know honey, just come on down stairs, dinners ready” she said as she leant in and kissed my cheek before walking out of the room, my bathroom is connected to my bedroom so I had some privacy.

“Ok” I whispered as I closed the door once more before bringing up the towel and drying myself off.

…

I strolled back into my room after I finished dinner; it was just chicken and potatoes, nothing special, my bedroom was the only place that ever made me feel safe anymore, I didn’t feel safe anywhere else, I was tired of getting beat up at school, before and after.

As I sat down on my bed, my phone went off once more, despite cracking the screen, I could still use it, and I wish I couldn’t. I reached over and grabbed it quickly, as I unlocked it, it was the same thing.

@Niall_Horan Die stupid mutt!

I felt the tears beginning to form up in my eyes.

@Niall_Horan You pathetic piece of shit, go kill urself!

That’s what I’m gonna do! I’m gonna kill myself, I can’t take it anymore.

I pushed myself up off my bed and took off into the bathroom, I kicked the door shut which sent an echo around the house, was I really going to do this? Was I really going to kill myself?

I stripped down to my underwear as I turned on the bath quickly, I watched as the water filled the tub quickly, as I turned it off, I turned around and snatched the razor blade off the counter in the corner of the room.

I stood there for a few moments, trying to figure out what I was doing, did I want this? Did I need this? Of course I did, everyone said it themselves, and they all want me dead…

So I did it, I placed the razor against my right wrist and quickly slid along, opening my wrist up, allowing the blood to flow down my arm before dripping off into the clear water below. I hissed in pain, but I wasn’t done, I brought it up to my other wrist and down the same, I lowered myself into the bath slowly, I looked down as the red water ran up my chest quickly as I sunk deeper and deeper into the steamy water, this was it! I’ll now fall asleep, and never wake up again…

So what did you guys think? I hope it didn’t creep you out too much, so please leave me some feedback telling me if I should keep going with it, and ah yeah, thanks.

Billy XD