Loving, Caring Hearts Book II of Lying Cheating Hearts (Completed)

Chapter 40

(Hello sa inyo! Pasensya sa late updates sa mga pending stories ko. Tunay akong tao na may trabaho kasi. Medyo haggard lang talaga lately. Mid-year eh. Pero I truly appreciate your comments and chasing for updates. May nakaka-miss din pala ng mga UDs ko. Thank youuu!!! 😘)

Dinatnan na naman ako.

Tinitigan ko ang pulang nag-mantsa sa underwear ko. I wanted to deny seeing the stain but I knew I couldn't. Pinigil kong umiyak. Nakakainis. Nakakagalit.

Ano ba?! Hindi ba talaga pwede? Ganito ba kahirap? Mahirap bang mag-asam ng pamilyang gusto mo? Bakit yung iba madali lang sa kanilang magka-anak? Bakit kami, nahihirapan?

Uminom naman ako ng gamot gaya ng sabi ng Doctor. Sinunod naman namin ang sinabi ng Doctor. We had sex on my fertile days. Ba't nangyari pa rin 'to?

Bumuntung-hininga na lang ako kaysa umiyak. Hindi ko maaaring ipakita na naman ang frustration ko kay Jake. Ayoko syang hawaan ng negativity ko sa issue ko.

"Jake kailangan nating bumalik kay Doctora. I have my period," I told Jake who had just finished taking his morning shower. He was preparing for work.

He didn't respond straight away. I heard him sigh. "Sige. Papasok pa ba 'ko ng work?" tanong nya. He went out of the bathroom and already had his concerned eyes on me.

Umiling ako at yumuko. Ayokong aluin nya na naman ako. "Bukas na lang tayo pumunta. Sige pumasok ka na today," sabi ko while standing up to get a tampon from my drawer para maipasak na yun sa laging excited mag-regla na vagina ko.

Nilapitan nya 'ko at niyakap. "Don't be sad. We'll have a baby. We're starting. Ganun siguro talaga. Others who try, wait nga for almost a decade," alo nya sa'kin.

I looked at his loving eyes. I was concerned and fed up. "Are we going to wait for a decade?" I asked. Magiging ganun ba katagal?

"Maybe. Maybe not. Pero there's no use being sad and mad about this. Waiting can be frustrating pero ganun talaga eh. It's not as easy as it seems pala. Now, we know that."

He's being diplomatic about this and I don't think I want him to be. "Kaya nga eh. It's frustrating." Gusto ko atang mainis din sya. Ako lang ba ang ganito? O ayaw nya lang akong sabayan?

"Don't get stressed. 'Diba bawal yan sa'yo? Sa'tin?" sabi nya while hugging me tighter. He kissed my cheek.

"But waiting for this thing na hindi mo alam kung mangyayari is super stressful," I stated.

"Don't... just don't think about it too much," sabi at layo nya. He proceeded to change his clothes.

Pa'no 'pag matagal pa bago kami magka-anak? Ang hirap naman sa damdamin na mag-antay ng mag-antay ng mag-antay! Pa'no kung yung pag-aantay eh sa wala pala mapunta?

Hayyy... Siguro dapat distracted ako. Siguro dapat para hindi ako ma-stress tungkol dito, dapat may ginagawa din ako.

I need to work. Hinahanap na naman talaga ng bawat ako, ng pagkatao ko ang pagtatrabaho ulit. Kaya siguro hindi kami magka-anak kasi I don't feel like myself? Maybe I've got this all wrong. Maybe I should be the old me.

But I need to make sure that working, having a job, will really be beneficial for me, for what we're doing. Baka mamaya mas lalo naman kaming hindi magka-anak 'pag nag-work ako.

I'll ask Doctora if I can work. 'Pag pwede, it'd be easier to ask Jake about working again. For sure one hundred percent si Jake sa pagtatrabaho ko 'pag may go signal from Doc.

"Do you want me to arrange the doctor's appointment?" tanong ni Babe.

"Ako na lang," tanggi ko. "May itatanong din ako kay Doctora eh."