The next couple of weeks were crazy busy for all, not just for me and Jake but for our immediate families as well.
It was such a team effort that really made me proud of the kind of family I was raised in and the kind of family Jake has. My parents were talking to all our relatives about the change in venue and about the arrangements on the actual day. My mom synchronized all of our relatives' schedules so my aunts can go to her favorite tailor for their other wedding outfit aside from the gowns they had made by Luce. She also arranged for a mini get-together of the So and the de Dios families before the wedding aside from the actual rehearsal dinner.
Jake's mom was on top of everything on their side as well and this includes making sure Chris has the right date to the wedding and that Ate Lily really shows up. His dad was making sure that his buddies, that are our godparents, will be well taken care of on the day.
Jake did another magazine photoshoot and I did one as well with an interview. We both didn't go to each other's photoshoots dahil we would both be uncomfortable. Lalo na 'ko. I didn't want him there who would probably be criticizing me: that I wasn't elongating my neck enough for the camera or that I wasn't extending my legs enough. I was sure he would do the critiquing in a lovely manner pero he was just so awesome in modelling, in that unfamiliar area for me, that I just didn't want to disappoint him. And I was sure I would again, just like Barcelona kaya hindi ko talaga sya pinasama. It was a good thing I felt at ease with the photographer and he directed the shoot well.
We also had our Marriage Seminar required by the City. It tackled marriage, pregnancy and family planning that I really found useful. We were in a sea of hopeful lifelong partners looking to live their lives together forever and it was such an awesome and warm experience. There were about 36 couples in the room and each couple shared their years or months of being together. Some were already living together for decades while some were whirlwind romances.
"Love happens to everyone," bulong ni Jake sa'kin as we were listening to other people's stories of how they met and fell in love. "In my case, it's you. It's really you." I smiled at that. I squeezed his hand.
Isinunod din namin ang interview with our priest after the seminar. Medyo intense ang mga questions ni Father na hindi ko talaga inasahan.
How will your marriage be like? We didn't know if we should say, a fun, loving one but after, we realized we wanted a supportive and loving marriage.
Matagal na ba kayong nagtatabi? I was so surprised to hear this question that I wasn't able to say a word. Good thing Jake was quick to admit it, though it was of course awkward.
Napag-usapan nyo na ba ang tungkol sa pera? Something that we hadn't really discussed as it was blurry and unimportant to both of us.
Malinaw ba sa inyo kung paano ninyo kakayanin ang pagpapalaki ng pamilya? Another huge question dropped on us like a bomb that we weren't sure how to answer.
How are you going to make each other feel loved, every day? One would think that you would have this down to a science because you already love the person you're with, pero you realize, things happen every day and this might not be easy peasy always. This was another truth-bomb that we had to think about.
How are you going to include your spiritual lives in your married life? This was also something we had taken for granted that we realized was so important. The marriage has to have a basis and if both of you are too weak to hold on to each other, you have to have somewhere to go to, to bring you back the reason why you were wed, joined, united in the first place.
Mahirap palang mag-asawa. Nakakakilig isipin na you'll end up with the one you love and you think you'll live happily ever after, pero you realize you'll have to work hard on it every day. Happily ever after takes work. It doesn't and wouldn't come naturally.
Jake and I would just look at each other whenever we're thrown a difficult question. I can see na hindi man kami sigurado sa mangyayari sa'min, I know I could count on him for support and that he can count on me too, and that for me is enough to seal the deal that, yes, pakakasalan ko talaga sya.
It was starting to dawn on me that we will spend the rest of our lives together. Sanay ako living my life thinking about what I should do, what I will do, what I am accomplishing pero now that we will be starting to live our lives together, lahat na, we. I will have to ask him if I wanted to do this, get that, achieve that, kasi I will share my life with him na.
What if he doesn't like what I would like? Naku, I have to compromise na. This is real. It's unknown territory and thankfully I'm not that scared, pero it's a huge challenge I'm willing to face 'cause it's with him, it's with Jake.
He was so into our marriage because you don't see fear in him. Kasi ako nga may kaunting takot, sya pa kaya, na lalaki, who would be expected to be the man of the family, protector and provider, supposedly, dahil tutulungan ko naman sya. From someone who just does what he wants, playboy and businessman, to someone responsible for a family, magiging sya na yun pero hindi ko nakikita sa kanya ang takot.
On our drive home Jake said, "It's not just making beautiful love with you for the rest of our lives, it's living with you, it's sometimes hating you to your very core."
"Yes Babe. It's loving me through the good and the bad. It's always choosing the better version of us over the things that are beyond our control," sabi ko.
"I wonder how bad you really are," sabi nya at natawa.
"Stubborn and fiercely independent," amin ko.
"Ako naman? Siguro stubborn din?" he wondered.
"You're cunning and secretive," puna ko. "But you're dangerously sexy," bawi ko.
"Alam ko na yan eh, wala bang iba?" yabang nya.
"Grabe! At makapal ang mukha!" I commented and laughed.
"Na mahal na mahal mo," dugtong nya.
"True," ngiti at hawak ko sa baba nya. Nag-beautiful eyes naman sya. Natawa kami.
The next day I dragged myself to the boutique of Luce, the Designer for the final fitting of my wedding gown.
"Ang taba mo na," Luce immediately commented upon seeing me. Lumaki lang ang mga butas ng ilong ko.
I looked at my mom. Natawa lang sya.
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