Plaid Skirts and Handcuffs (Frerard)

Chapter 31

Eventually, Gee had to leave. I feared for how his parents would react when Mikey tells them he skipped school. I never told Gee that I loved him. Yeah, I said it while to him while he was sleeping, but I couldn't say it to his conscious face. Everytime I opened my mouth I felt like I could throw up. My stomach would start twisting with nerves, the kind when I was little and I was scared to tell my mom the truth when I had broken something because I knew I would get in trouble.

I was afraid that if I told him I loved him, then everything would just become so much more real. Like if I were to utter the words then I would be so much more attached and when he left it would be a million times harder. He had told me he loved me when he left, looking at me hopefully. I tried to say it, I really did, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I wanted to tell him so badly. I'm going to tell him. I'll tell him today. As soon as I get the chance I'll say it to him. I'd do anything to put a smile on that sad boy's face. The smile that used to be there all the time when he first moved here, but now it wasn't there as much. After all the beatings and name callings he isn't as happy-go-lucky as he used to be.

"Mr. Iero," the teacher said, pulling me out of my bubble of regret. "Please pay attention in my class."

I looked at the board, wondering when we were getting out of here. I was hoping that maybe Gee would just skip with me again so we can spend time together before he's gone. I only have about 4-8 days with him, days that were so precious and special and I didn't want to waste them. I wish these days were endless.

Once the bell finally rang, I was heading down the hall to where Gee's classroom was. Unfortunately, however, Mikey was already there. He looked at me and scowled, crossing his arms. He still wasn't very confident, but around me he was. Maybe because he knows I'm going soft, or maybe because he knows I won't touch him because if I do then that'll make Gee upset with me.

"Fuck off," Mikey said.

"Mikey, please, just let me talk to him," I said.

"I can't let you," he stated.

"C'mon, man, please I just want a moment with him," I said. "I just need to tell him something."

Mikey shook his head. I looked into the class and saw that they were being held after the bell by the teacher. Gee looked sad in his black sweater with a dark purple skirt and black tights with black boots. I know he tends to wear outfits to match his mood, and his outfits just keep getting more and more depressing.

"Mikey, your little brother is sad, really sad. I don't want him to get as sad as you," I said, glancing down at his wrists as he frowned and pulled the sleeves of his hoodie down. "Please, Mikey, I can help make your brother happier."

Mikey seemed to think about it when he gave me a sour look. "He'll be happier once he realizes he's better off without you. He doesn't really love you, he's 16, he's just infatuated by you and he'll move on so quickly."

I scowled, trying to hide the fact that I was worried about whether he was just infatuated.

"I bet you two don't even really know each other, all you ever do is fuck people," Mikey said. "Tell me, what's his favorite animal? His favorite food?"

"Kittens and grilled cheese sandwiches," I answered confidently with a smirk.

"No," Mikey denied, shaking his head. "It's bunnies and chicken tenders."

"That doesn't mean we don't know each other well," I said. "I know that he hates needles and..."

I drifted off when I couldn't seem to think of anything else. That's all we usually do, we just fuck. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I don't love him. Maybe he doesn't love me either. We hardly even know each other, we couldn't possibly date if we don't know each other. I think that I just love the idea of him, I don't really love him. I love having someone for myself to fuck, someone to call me daddy and do what I say. Not him as a person, I don't love him.