I Can't Hate Him

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W-when we were in Vrindavan and I had to leave her. F-for that same reason I had to leave her again lalita. Love doesn't decrease from distance. Love do not depends on the external factors. Love knows how to trust, how to wait. Love knows no boundaries but neither does it knows it's starting. You can't finish love by your will and you most definitely can't fall in it with your wish. Everything is involuntary, Lalita. Everything in love is involuntary. And for teaching this only, Radhe and I bloomed love in Vrindavan. Just to show that there is distance in love, but also trust. Their is happiness in love but also pain. Their is relief in love but also struggle and there is wait in love but also love. Love is there. Still there. Just like Radhe has, After all this time, she still loves me Lalita. I saw in her eyes yesterday. Even after so many years she couldn't see me cry. We won Lalita. We won the test. She loves me still and it's just a matter of time that she'll realize it. And, and what you were saying Haan? I left her? I? Krishna left her Radhe? You know Lalita, you know I can't leave her. My every cell, every particle is scared to lose her. Every millisecond, my mind thinks of what will happen if one day My Radhe will not be in my life. My body shivers thinking about the day when her hand won't touch me. My heart shatters every second thinking about what will happen if she falls out of love with me. But then I breathe Lalita, I breathe. And my breath reminds me that my Radhe still loves me, my Radhe still wants me. I breathe when Radhe does and she breathes because she loves me"


I was speechless. I had just witnessed Radhekrishna's love.


It wasn't everyday when I get to have such a sight. Krishna just explained me his love for Radha and I couldn't feel more blessed.
For a minute I forgot what I was doing on this earth. I wanted to go to their abode. But no, without them, there wasn't any abode. Lalita was meant to stay where her Radhekrishna were.


But right now I was a friend to both of them and had to reunite them. I had to fulfill my role in this story.


"Yes, She do loves you Krishna. She always has, she always will."I said softly and smiled and he returned the gesture.


"So" I said excitedly. "You want her back?" He looked up at me and nodded frantically.


"Well then go on, who's stopping you. But mind you Krishna, don't hurt her again. I know you love her more than me but you've also hurt her more than me. She maybe so in love with you, but I'm still here. Don't lea-"


"Never Lalita. Never again. We've won the test, we've passed the struggles. Now all I have to do is make my Radhe feel loved."
He said and I smiled satisfactorily. Radhika's happiness was directly joined to me. If Krishna will make her happy, I'll be happy. I am her part after all.

*

I was quick to reach home because I knew Radhika would already be there. I lived with my parents but today they were gone out of the city, the reason why me and Radhika would be having a sleepover.


Once I reached outside my house, I saw that Radhika's car was inside the gate. I made my way inside and saw that Radhika was in her car, frowning with sadness all over he face.


But then I had her coffee and my wonderful brain had an idea..


"Radhika, Radhika, Dr.Radhika, Ms.Psychatrist, open the door. Doctor, please open the door." And here the psychic me overtook. I banged loudly on her car window and shouted my lungs out. Thank God I had no neighbors within a close distance.


Radhika had listened to me in the first time and even opened the lock to the door but I still continued shouting like a mad person, banging the window. And she was giving me a horrified expression with her hand covering her mouth and eyes wide open. She looked so cute. I wanted to laugh so hard and so I did. She gestured me to keep quiet but I continued laughing and banging her windows.


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