THE UNLOVED| ✔

His embrace

A/N : And well its the day.
A very Happy Janmaashtmi to everyone :)

For the first time ever, I looked so desperately for him roaming here and there in all of the campus.

After not seeing him anywhere inside the college. I headed outside. He had to be somewhere.

"What does he even thinks about himself ? He has beautiful eyes, fine deal with it . But he has no right to plan a bike ride with me before asking me. Not that I would ever agree to it but still.”

He did ask you actually.

As always my brain gave me an opposite response to which I internally groaned.

"Radhe"

When I heard my name being called from a distance , I recognised the voice and stopped walking. Though I could not turn to the source because at that very second a huge bus was making it's way to the road almost through me. I panicked while my eyes shut rather than becoming wide open, I froze at the spot rather than running away from there because at that moment my body wasn't under my control. I was terrified. The loud horn of the bus just made me cry and put my hands on my ears.

I let out a scream when I felt the bus just in front of me .

But, but I didn't die. I could feel the heartbeats, not mine but of someone else rythemically ringing into my ear saying -

  ' Radhe '

I registered two arms around me holding me tight. I opened my eyes and looked up to a terrified Dk? I didn't pull away though. I felt too weak .

"Radhe" He said so softly that even he wouldn't be able to hear himself. A tear fell from my eyes still repeating the terrifying sight which had just passed.

"Radhe" he said sternly this time and pulled me away from him making me look straight into his eyes. This time they reflected anger.

"How could you be so stupid ? Don't you care about your life ? How could you be so careless. If you don't care about your life that does not mean that nobody does. Can't you keep yourself safe ? Damnit, do you even know how important you are -"He kept on saying these angrily to which I listened quietly not having any energy to argue. At once point anger suddenly changed into tenderness.

"Are you fine? Did you hurt yourself?”He asked softly to which I just shook my head in a no.

"I was so worried" He murmured and once again held me in his embrace!

I didn't pull away this time too not because I had no energy but because I felt safe.

It was after what felt like forever, I felt a change in surrounding and got back to my senses and analysed what was happening. His arms were still around me but this time I pushed him away. But it was too late, I already had done it. Once again I had betrayed my Krishna, my lord Krishna because of this person. I couldn't help but break into tears.

He looked at me with sadness while I looked at him with disgust, not for him but for myself. I was disgusted with myself. I was left with no words then. I ran away from the spot and desperately searched for my living God, my lalita.

I knew she would be there for me. She would understand me rather than judge me. She would care for me like a mother rather than teasing me like a friend.

I found her in the canteen from where I had left.

I stood in front of her crying.  She immediately realized my presence and stood up  cupping her hands around my face and put my head on her shoulders.I didn't speak a word neither did she, as if she understood my silence. I cried until I made sure that her cloth on shoulder was completely wet.

It was then, when she uttered something.

"Radhika, Everything will be fine, will you tell me what happened? "She asked with concern surrounding her face. I could clearly feel the pain in her voice  and her glossy eyes.

"I-Lalita, I betrayed my krishna o-once again lalita" I sobbed.
"I hate myself, Am I not having control on myself ? Does my heart doesn't know how to belong to a single person? If it doesn't then I may tell my heart for the last time that..that it belongs to krishna, only my God krishna not his duplicate, not Dk. "I whispered shouted with tears violently flooding my face.

Lalita's POV :

I tried to support the queen of the universe as she stood in front of me crying saying anything and every thing about herself.

How should I tell her that, "Radhika.. your heart didn't love 2 different persons, that your heart is the purest of all, that your heart has only loved  krishna from the beginning of the time and will love only him till the end of eternity."

But then I had to say something. I had to make her believe in herself and her lover.

"Radhika, Listen ok? " I said softly and she nodded.

"Trust your heart Radhika, it will not let you choose wrong. It will never let you choose wrong.
Trust your Krishna​ Radhika,he will always make you choose the right.
Trust yourself Radhika, so that you can trust others, just a bit.
And trust your love Radhika, your love for Krishna, it will stay there, untouched, no matter what. Just trust ok? "

A small smile etched on her face and she wiped her eyes with heels of her palm. I hugged her once again and she sighed, almost relieved.

"Thankyou"

"Always"

Radhe Radhe
Jai Sri Radhekrishn